Play date in XL Bully house

I wouldn't go to a house with one in myself never mind let my child. I'd just tell her you are not comfortable with the dog . You won't be the only one

Absolute no, I’m surprised you need to ask.

No way.
The idea that you would risk your child’s life so that you don’t piss off the parent is alien to me.

I have to say I am always baffled by how defensive XL bully owners are about their dogs . I find the whole “ they are a big softy , wouldn’t hurt a fly “ mentality really odd .

You’d rather risk your child being torn apart and another news story than piss off this so-called friend? Who keeps an XL Bully with children anyways? They’re all lovely until they aren’t.

There are some situations where I think people should let things slide and maybe make up excuses as to why you can't/don't want to go somewhere but in this instance I would not be doing any of that. I would even start off the conversation by telling her that you already know she is going to be pissed off or even slag you off to the other mums but there's no fucking way you would knowingly let your kid go and play in a house where there is a dog like that and that is the end of it. It might be a lovely family dog and it might live to a lovely old age without as much as sniffing at a kid and I hope that's the case but it's all lovely until it isn't and that's a risk that nobody should be taking with these dogs.

I would say no and offer to host.

its a definite no , jack Lisi in wales was killed by an XL bully at a friends house .

Absolutely not and my kids are older teens. I’m a dog owner too.

My brother came home from uni one holiday with a darling little German Shepherd puppy. I don’t remember my parents having a problem with it.
The only problem I had with it was my brother went back to school and it was my job to feed and walk the puppy every single solitary day.
Fast forward five years and the dog and I are on our walk — we turn the corner and there are my good friends from school, boys I’d known all my life.
We talked and laughed and at one point Paul said something silly and I tapped him on the arm and said “Oh Paul.”
At that instant my dog lunged at Paul snarling and grabbed a mouthful of Paul’s tee shirt. I think she thought she was protecting me.
Moral of the story is, you just never know how a dog’s gonna react in any situation.
I’d keep my child away, too @Bonneylass

I would say something like “we love you guys and really want to do a playdate but I don’t feel comfortable with XL bullies, x is welcome to come around mine anytime or we could meet up at softplay”.

Honestly if someone has one in the house with children I’d think they have poor judgement and definitely wouldn’t trust them to keep my child safe.

I agree that no dog should be left alone with kids. But with an XL Bully, having an adult in the room wouldn't make a difference in the event of an attack. They're strong and they don't let go - i.e. they bite to the death. Just read some of the recent news reports.

It’s not like dogs are issued randomly to people who want a dog. Her household has made a conscious decision to choose that ‘breed’ therefore they are not responsible people. No way.

My friend had a German Shepard and she had several parents refuse to come over because of it, this is common.

No, it's not worth the risk.

From a fathers perspective, a big fat no.

Yeah it's a real pic, has been in the press.

Yanbu. I would not allow my dc to play over there nor would I go there.

Nope. My kids won't play at a house with a large dog unless I've met it (and just not that particular breed). Too many stories of dogs accidentally being let out and going after kids who are playing over there.

I witnessed an XL Bully attack over the summer and it was absolutely horrific. The house that owned them had work men in and they weren't properly secured as they were coming in and out, and they got out and attacked another dog. The owner was on the floor wrestling with it (extremely fit and strong woman) but it wasn't budging. The noises were awful. At one point 5 people were trying to prize it off the poor dog it was attacking. The attacked dog was freed and it chased my friends husband who had pulled it free and we had to run into the house and slam the door. My friend was holding her baby. I was so shaken by it I went into shock. The owner of the attacked dog said that "They are normally such lovely dogs" (the bullys) but as someone who didn't live on their street I couldn't comprehend the need to defend them, I'd just witnessed something awful that could easily have been a child/adult not a dog. They can turn in a second. About 6 police cars turned up after I called 999 as the police said attacks are getting more frequent and they just don't know how vicious the dogs will be.
I wouldn't go anywhere near an XL Bully.

@NeverFastAlwaysFurious in south London. There's a guy I see regularly walking his, granted with a lead but not muzzled.
I've seen two running in the local park off lead.
There are videos online of them running up to people in parks too.

Where do you live that there are so many and they're off the lead? I know there are always rule breakers but I'd be confident they're not XL bully's. I've seen about 3 and they've all been correctly muzzled and on lead since the laws changed. Those who are breaking that rule is exactly who this law is meant to protect us from.

With the things I have seen people do around kids and dogs, and those people truly believing their actions are sensible or even safe when they're the exact opposite...

And the general dog owning publics inability to understand their own dogs, particularly with the rise in popularity in aversive training that produces dogs that are highly likely to react without warning and far more likely to react towards strangers/children

I wouldn't let a kid of mine (if I had one) go to a home with a dog unless I knew how those people handled, trained, raised and kept that dog inside out and back to front. .

There is a saying in dog training circles... 'management fails'.

At some point, management always fails.

However if you're managing on multiple levels - ie:

• you don't have unfamiliar kids in the house
• your dog is crated if strangers are in the house
• your dog has two closed doors between them and your children in the house if you're not directly supervising (ie kitchen door and crate door; kitchen door and back door)
• your dog has been well socialised and habituated, is not nervous or fearful or easily excited...
• your dog does NOT associate cues to go to their bed, get off, move over there, come with me/leave the room etc with punishment/fear/pain

Then when one of those elements of management fail, when someone opens a door, opens a crate, invites a kid in, asks the dog to move... you have very little chance of things going terminally wrong.

People will say 'yes, I'll crate the dog/the dog will be in another room with the door shut' etc... but the reality is, they relax, they think it will be fine... they haven't got set rules their own children understand and so the kids will open doors, let the dog out etc...

That is how children die. At least one of the historic child deaths was as a result of children (left unsupervised) who went outside to see the dog tethered in the garden. The dog recently bought from a pub, to be kept as a guard dog, who was known and sold as not child friendly, who they had been told not to go outside with, not to approach.

Another was when the person caring for the child, who knew the dog had a recent bite history on another child, allowed the dog into the house whilst the dog was terrified of fireworks, and had him sat with the child he subsequently killed.
Her parents for some inexplicable reason, trusted this relative to do as she said and not let the dog in.

I'd tell the parents you don't do playdates in the homes of people who have dogs you do not know well. That will do. You don't need to go into HOW well you'd need to know the dog.

@oakleaffy is a real picture? That's horrendous! Might as well be mauled by a lion.
I have had dogs, not aggressive ones obviously. My last one was a goofy Boxer! She passed on two years ago and I'm scared to get another dog as I'd frankly be too nervous to walk them with all these XL's around and off leads in parks.
I wouldn't go into a house myself with one. Let alone a child. I can't believe people are keeping them as pets around children.

I wouldn't trust someone who thinks it's appropriate to have an XL bully in a family home to keep it in a separate room or crate tbh.

Them proactively choosing the dog means they are irresponsible and don't prioritise the welfare of their child, let alone someone else's.