Play date in XL Bully house

100% No
be honest with the mum
invite the kid to yours instead

you won’t be the only one. The mum needs to understand that it’s just not socially acceptable to have kids over when there is a dog with such a notorious reputation in the house

i I assume it’s registered, neutered and muzzled when out the house as per the law?

Just no, not worth the risk

Ask her to keep the dog in another room. When my grandchildren come round I put the dog in another room or the kitchen. She is only an old terrier, but I would not trust any dog near a child.

I had an Alsatian as a child and my best friend came round to play (early 1980's) and we were playing a game and he thought she was hurting me, he bit her leg, just a warning, didn't break the skin. This was a kid he knew who came around a lot - she never came round again after that, I always had to go to hers.

I’d just be honest and invite the other kid to yours instead so the kids aren’t missing out. I don’t think she should have an issue with that.

I'm an absolute dog freak, as are the rest of my family (and naturally we have one of our own). Hell would freeze over before I sent my child unsupervised to a house with an XL Bully in it.

I'd just suggest meeting up outside the house or invite them to mine.

To have a dog, or children for that matter, entails sacrificing some things. In their case, fewer people will allow play dates at their house. May that be the only sacrifice they make.

The problem is, these dogs are often lovely and well behaved with children, until they aren't. Something in them triggers the n a heartbeat and people don't stand a chance.

I love animals, but the sooner this breed dies out the better, I can't believe it's lawful to have them in homes with children.

Just be honest with your reasons.

Absolutely this! Everything to do with jaw size and force. I wouldn’t ever want anyone to be bitten but if it was ever going to happen a dashund bite for example would like hurt, maybe need stitches etc but an XL bully would maybe mean a funeral. Not worth taking a chance at all no matter how ‘lovely the dog’. Quite frankly it annoys me when owners say this - always really friendly until they bite someone. They are animals, they have instincts.

No way. And I would tell her why. We have two small, daft dogs and I always put them
away if a parent tells me their child is nervous of dogs. If they have a dog that size they should be sensible enough to understand. If they don’t, as PPs have said, then they shouldn’t have it at all and your DS definitely shouldn’t be going.

I would say Sorry but your dog makes me nervous ... would your child like to come to my house for a playdate instead?

I look after kids in my house and I have the most child friendly, bomb proof TT dog ever. She acts like nanny the dog from Peter Pan. 99% of the kids I look after also have dogs in their homes.

However, I still never leave her alone with them. Even if it means I have to sit and watch while she snuggles up to the back of a snoozing child for hours on end. It my responsibility and she's a dog, not a human that goes by human standards.
Don't let your kid in a house with dogs that have been constantly over the news for killing people...

The fact that they have this breed means to me no they aren’t trustworthy. People don’t usually make terrible decisions in isolation I find, what others have they made. I’d be doing everything I could to discourage the friendship personally, probably stopping the child going round would do it as sure the parents will take umbrage and think op is terribly unreasonable.

My DC are adults know but it would be a hard no from me. She knows that XL Bullies have a bad reputation so she's got to be prepared that some people will want to avoid them.

You’ll tell her. Then she’ll expect to reassure you.

I’d tell her a relative was attacked by one and so you simply can’t.

Be ready to back yourself.

Absolutely not and be honest

she maybe lovely but she is very stupid
so don’t be surprised if she is offended as she has already shown you how stupid she is.

I think you’re also asking for suggestions of how to phrase it?

’Hi Liz, I know that Fido is your family pet and you love and trust him but given all the recent reports about XL bullies I don’t feel comfortable with Jeff being in the house with one. I would love the kids to spend time together so perhaps Alan could come to us instead?

Really doesn't matter if you trust the mother. If the dog turns there'll be fuck all she can do about it regardless of how much you like and trust her.

I wouldn't be concerned about pissing off an XL bully owner. The more uncomfortable their lives the better. Maybe if they find their kids have no friends, they might think twice about inflicting these awful creatures on the rest of us.

Glad you’ve said no. Not in a million years would I let my DC go. Honesty is best policy. You said she was nice so she will understand. Actually she is taking a risk asking kids over….

I'd come up with some other excuse. I don't think you can really reason with someone who thinks these dogs are OK.

And even if they say they'll keep the dog away I doubt it would actually happen.

Think of it this way. If your child was aimed or killed by the dog, would you be thinking "Well, at least I didn't offend the mum."?

You don’t have to be truthful in a confrontational way, if you don’t want to specifically say you are worried about her dangerous XL bully. You could just say that you/he is not comfortable around big dogs.

There are lots of people who can’t be around animals. My nephew was knocked over by an enthusiastic friendly golden retriever when a toddler. He was an adult before he could tolerate being around my sister’s tiny dog.

My husband has asthma and is hugely allergic to cats. He cannot go into a home with cat hairs/dander, even if the cat is shut away. All the cat owners we know have accepted us declining invitations. Perhaps some have thought we are over-dramatic, but no friendships have ended because of it. Even if they had, I would rather that than an unnecessary trip to the hospital (and remember, asthma can still kill young people. Status asthmaticus is a horrible and desperate thing to be dealing with when you’re on the other end) .

I’m not suggesting you lie, and give allergy as a reason, but simply to illustrate that most reasonable people will accept you saying that their (perfectly fine, in their eyes) pet is a reason you cannot come round, and even if not, c’est la vie. Safety is the priority.

No, we can't make it, sorry.

Yes, God forbid you "piss her off" - we cant have that can we?

Send your son over and worry the entire time, far better than letting some woman be a little bit miffed over a dog.

no

Say no and be honest.
Stupid woman,risking her kids .
Social services should be able to intervene in these situations, clearly parents who don't give a shit