Play date in XL Bully house

I see people are suggesting the dog is locked away , but it could get out , children open doors all the time

Suggest a day out or meeting at the park instead.

A firm no from me and I adore dogs. I would also be honest with her.

I am a huge dog lover and I have previously owned a staffy which a lot of Mumsnet would be horrified at. He was a lovely boy but I would have respected anyone's decision if they didn't allow their children to mine because of him.

However, an XL bully given all the recent attacks would also be a no from me. I have met a few of them and given them a fuss and even allowed my children to stroke them (pre-ban) with me present and reading the dogs behaviour. I don't think they are monsters, but I do think they are unpredictable and I wouldn't want my kid squealing and running around near one.

I now have a little pug, one of my daughters friends is scared of dogs and even though the Mum is happy for her daughter to come over as he's a friendly little thing, my daughter goes to hers as she's scared and uncomfortable with him. That's perfectly fine with me too.

No, and tell her why. They’re lovely dogs until they aren’t.

It’s all fun and games until some loses an eye.

She must have a screw loose

Anyone stupid and irresponsible enough to keep one of these dogs cannot be trusted to keep it in another room.

As for if I know and trust the mother and family, it wouldn't be a problem for me, how utterly naive. It absolutely should be a problem.

As others have pointed out, these dogs turn in a second with no warning.

Nope. Absolutely not from me. They are all lovely dogs, until they are not !!!

Tell her it's because of the dog

Absolutely not. Be honest about the reason, no need to lie

No responsible dog owner would choose this breed in the first place.

Be polite but honest. You don't want your child near this dog.

It does not matter if the parents are present. It won't stop the dog killing. It really is not a given that people would not leave a child with any dog. It should be, but people just nip to the kitchen, or answer the door etc. I think this is naive.

Nope! Tell her the truth. Id be nervous around one of these on a lead. No way im putting my child in a situation like this. The one thats just killed a ten year old was “a loving family pet” fuck that

Sorry, but no. You can be nice about it but she needs to hear it.

I can’t see her taking it well, though. It’s a criticism of her judgement and parenting at the end of the day and there’s no getting past that really.

You’ve made the right decision.
As I’ve said on another thread, I’ve got quite a collection of dogs from small to large and there is no way on God’s green earth I’d entertain a dog breed that even an adult would struggle to over power. They’re killing machines in waiting in that sense.
As you’ve decided, be honest but polite. If she chooses to be offended then that’s on her.

She won't be daft, she'll know the dog is a deterrent to socialising. I'm at a point that if I host play dates then I ask whether our German shepherd is OK to stay or whether he'd be best going to his second family for the day (my parents, where he gets spoilt rotten!)

They might be lovely with her kids but your child is a stranger and dogs can be territorial.

I'd say no.

My son was asked on a play date by a family with a large aggressive German shepherd dog. I refused. The child could come to my house as often as they liked but I wasn’t having that dog anywhere near my child. The mother wasn’t happy but her happiness wasn’t my concern. I have 3 very friendly dogs but I’m on high alert when there are small children around.

Just tell her and say could you meet at the park with just the children instead. Or invite them to your house instead.
If she's a responsible owner she won't mind

It’s a no from me even if the kids aren’t left alone with the dog. Even with an adult there if the dog turns it’s too late.

My cousin has 2 XL bullies. She has 3 very small children. I don’t take my 2 small children to her house. I trust her. I don’t trust the dogs, however good she says they are. Thinking of my cousin, if those dogs attacked there would be absolutely nothing at all she would be able to do to stop them. She’s too small.

Not a chance.

I would not describe as "lovely" anyone who has an XL, let alone someone who keeps such a dog when there are children in the house. There are, however, plenty of other words I would use to describe such a person, idiot being the most polite.

It would be a hard no from me especially given the latest attack current in the news. Just be honest with her and she should be understanding. It was her choice to own and have one of those breeds in her home, it is your choice whether or not to send your child round there. I am a dog lover and have dogs but I am never offended if someone does not want to come round because of the dogs. Mine are not a dangerous breed. It is not worth you worrying about it and you would be worried for all the time your child is there.

XL Bully dogs are a very dangerous breed with a lot of instability and unpredictable. Their sheer size and power renders their owner powerless should they turn and attack someone. I am an experienced dog owner, I have had dogs for decades and I would never ever take on one of them. I love dogs but that breed should be wiped out and never be in a family home. All dogs according to their owners are friendly and wouldn't harm a fly, that is until they do. If she is offended then so be it, best to offend her than risk your child being hurt or even worse killed.

The issue with XL bully dog is that they can flip from being an apparently reliable cuddly family dog into red mist at the flick of a switch, no warning.
It's a psychological flaw.
The animals were created from selected breeding for this characteristic and an original dog called killer kimbo was particularly known for it and was bred from so much that a sizeable percentage of all bullies carry his genes.
I remember reading an interview of one owner of one who was alone in her house with her much loved pet, doing nothing in particular when the dogs demeanor changed and it was like he was a different animal.

So whilst most dogs will be fine if raised well, and the adage 'it's not the dog it's the owners' applies, with these dogs there is always the risk they can flip for no reason whatsoever.