Breastfeeding a stranger’s child

This seems an example of how successful the sexualisation of breasts has been and the disassociation to their true purpose.

we see formula as a sanitised, safe and acceptable option in ‘polite society’ and people really balk at it being pointed out to be powered cow bodily fluid intended for baby cows (I drink cows milk) because quite rightly that gives us the ick.

where as shared breastfeeding now gives us the ick because as much a breastfeeding is encouraged. Society says that it’s a wonderful bonding experience between mother and child. Yes it is but that is really only playing into the sexualisation by essentially letting babies borrow the breasts. And why generally society gets the ick when babies start reaching age 1 and feeding goes beyond babyhood into toddlerhood.

the patriarchal society wants its boobs back when babies stop looking like helpless babies.

I haven't even had a kid... and yet the concept of not breast feeding a hungry baby that isn't mine, if thats the only option, is absolutely alien to me (assuming I were able to do so).

I cannot comprehend the idea of refusing to do so, if you could feed the baby, on the basis that it isn't your child. That someone could just let a baby starve. Thats horrific.

My mum was quite happy to tell me that when I was tiny I was breast fed by one of her friends, and same friends baby was breast fed by her (they sat for each other a fair bit, this wasn't some random baby swapping party!).

I haven't and never will breastfeed a child but however much I understand why some might balk at such a thing I find it sad that anyone would be disturbed by a mother helping a mother but more importantly helping a baby. This is, in every sense, what humans are for.

People donate their breast milk to milk banks. It's fine

That milk is screened though, so you know it’s safe. And it’s then provided to recipient babies via a tube or bottle. Very different to a stranger sticking a baby on their breast.

I would do it in similar circumstances, but then I don't really find breastfeeding the great intimate bonding experience that some do. It's a means to an end. I'd see it in the same way as offering food to a weaned baby if we had plenty and they had none.

Some years ago a friend with an oversupply shared with a friend of hers who didn't produce enough, although that was via expressing rather than physically feeding. They lived in a country where it's an unremarkable thing to do though.

Would you prefer your baby to not be fed?

I wonder whether the distaste of feeding another child is actually rooted in conflating breastfeeding and the sexualisation of women’s breasts? If the child is hungry isn’t it a basic instinct to help? Wet nurses were used for many years.

Agree

YABU - have you never heard of wet nurses? People donate their breast milk to milk banks. It's fine.

More than it'd tear you up to hear your baby crying with hunger and not be able to provide it with any food?

I'd be happy for someone else to feed my baby if needed and would gladly feed someone else's. I think it's weird that we've come to accept babies drinking cows' breasmilk but would find this so strange. What is it that you find disturbing? The milk itself or the baby at the breast?

If the mum
of the baby in question (assuming there was one) is ok with it, I don’t see what the problem is.

I have always said that if I couldn’t breastfeed, I would provide HUMAN milk over formula. 💯

I used to have let downs hearing random babies cry when BF my DC...I think my boobs WANTED to feed babies and weren't particularly fussed about parentage 😂

But seriously, you wouldn't feed a starving baby if your boob was all that was available? Are you a sociopath, because that's fucked up.

So the dilemma is feeding a baby or not feeding a baby 😳.

I think it's fair to say that the majority of sane people would advocate for feeding the baby via whatever available means.

No, that makes perfect sense to me. I had an ample supply so until this post I never considered my child having a feed from someone else and was surprised at my instinctive reaction, when I would have happily fed another baby if needed. There are so many emotions tied up in breastfeeding (and feeding a baby generally).

Sounds insane, but after DS was born, I was so zonked with painkiller, the nurses told me he'd had a feed of milk already - breast milk.

They didn't tell me if was from the milk bank, {which I later donated to} -I'd imagined his first ever feed being from another woman's breast directly- and yes, it still stings!

{I know it makes no sense}

Although an odd circumstance (friend of a friend background, and you have not have to experience this for yourself). I would have no trouble with this personally if it was called on in "an absolute emergency" and a baby needed it. I had enough bother with my own latching on, but I would not mind if the circumstance required it, and I thought I could help. It is a pretty odd scenario though.

I too was a donor for milk -however- that donated milk is fed via bottles, not having a stranger's baby latched on.

But- I don't see the issue as long as the mother was ok with it.

It's not something most people would consider, and would probably only be done if there were no other options. I don't see anything wrong with feeding someone else's baby if you have the means to help.

@MadamNoo Re Grapes of Wrath, that scene has always bothered me - she'd literally just given birth, how did she have enough milk to nourish a starving stranger?!

I don’t care if people find me mean or what not, but absolutely not.

I understand some women donate milk but to have another baby on your breast? No, it just feels wrong. I can’t word why, I suppose because it’s an intimate unique thing for mother and baby?

As a breastfeeding mother, it’d tear me apart to see my baby on another woman’s breast.

Its not disturbing if the baby was hungry and there was no other choice. The parents must have been desperate.

I would have happily done so for a small baby in need. Not sure how I would have felt about my daughter having a feed from someone else, but if she needed it I am sure I would have been grateful.

I said to a babysitting friend years ago that she could bf my small baby. He was too little at the time to really object to a stranger. I'd rather that than have left him inconsolable where a quick bf would have settled him fast.

I’d be incredibly grateful if someone helped if I had a hungry baby and no access to milk.

I did this for a friend. An emergency and for one feed only. I was glad to be of help and it made my friends life a bit easier that day. Nothing wrong at all IMO.