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Original poster

Breastfeeding a stranger’s child

233 replies

grou · 07/11/2024 00:29

I was recently told of a friend’s friend who under very specific circumstances was compelled to breastfeed a complete stranger’s baby. I find the concept quite disturbing. Think remote, small airport. One rug shop for duty free. But then again a starving baby is a starving baby.

As far as I am aware there were really no alternative options available.

OP posts:
MrsSunshine2b · 07/11/2024 08:19

Quite bizarre that as a society we are so very comfortable with extracting milk from multiple other species but so ill at ease with our own. Hungry babies need to be fed.

Thischangeseverything · 07/11/2024 08:18

lolly792 · 07/11/2024 08:08

Actually is it Ruth or Rose ...? (Getting side tracked here!)

Rose of Sharon

Thischangeseverything · 07/11/2024 08:13

I'd do it happily if the mother was happy with it. I think it should be more acceptable as I think breast milk is better than formula. I can imagine being a wet nurse in another era.

SapphireSeptember · 07/11/2024 08:11

Throughout human history wet nurses have existed. More often than not associated with royalty or the aristocracy as men didn't like that it prevented pregnancy, and they didn't want their wives breastfeeding for that reason. Anne Boylen wanted to breastfeed Elizabeth, and wasn't allowed to.

Greyrocked · 07/11/2024 08:10

Assuming the mum consented (or in an absolute emergency like natural disaster and baby is entirely alone after an earthquake) … I would have no issue with feeding someone else’s baby.

x2boys · 07/11/2024 08:09

Lyannaa · 07/11/2024 03:54

YABU - have you never heard of wet nurses? People donate their breast milk to milk banks. It's fine.

Exactly Wet nurses were quite common a few generations back.

Leavesandacorns · 07/11/2024 08:08

The breast milk itself doesn't bother me, but I think I'd have found it strange to physically breastfeed a child who wasn't mine. I would absolutely have done it in a scenario where expressing wasn't an option though. A hungry baby is a hungry baby.

Threecraws · 07/11/2024 08:08

A hungry baby's cry is one of the worst things to listen to, so absolutely if they're was no other choice i would feed the baby rather than listen to it cry.

lolly792 · 07/11/2024 08:08

Actually is it Ruth or Rose ...? (Getting side tracked here!)

twentysevendresses · 07/11/2024 08:07

IdleAnimations · 07/11/2024 01:23

I don’t care if people find me mean or what not, but absolutely not.

I understand some women donate milk but to have another baby on your breast? No, it just feels wrong. I can’t word why, I suppose because it’s an intimate unique thing for mother and baby?

As a breastfeeding mother, it’d tear me apart to see my baby on another woman’s breast.

So you'd leave a baby to starve rather than offer them your breast? 🤦‍♀️ Wow!

lolly792 · 07/11/2024 08:07

@Lemonadeand I think it's a stranger Ruth feeds in the Grapes of Wrath, not her dad

RosesAndHellebores · 07/11/2024 08:06

Providing all parties consented, I can't see the issue. Unless of course the breast is being regarded as entirely sexual rather than mutually productive with its principle function being to satisfy the appetite of a baby needing nutrition.

OpalGoose · 07/11/2024 08:06

I applaud that woman, that was a beautiful thing to do for a stranger and her child.

Lemonadeand · 07/11/2024 08:03

What was the situation? Had the other mother collapsed or disappeared? I just can’t see how it would happen.

In an emergency fair enough. There’s that highly
disturbing scene at the end of The Grapes of Wrath when Ruth breastfeeds her father who is dying of starvation.

I’d be annoyed it would mess up my milk supply, though!

TheDeepLemonHelper · 07/11/2024 08:02

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Tbskejue · 07/11/2024 08:01

To be honest I’d find it harder as the mum of the baby but needs must I would assume

DieDreiHexen · 07/11/2024 07:57

In the broad spectrum of baby feeding practices across culture and time, feeding a stranger's hungry baby from one's breast is surely far more normal than feeding an industrially produced product from a plastic teat?

And I'm pretty sure that 99.9% of women across cultures and time would choose to feed a stranger's hungry baby as a simple human kindness. I find it a bit disturbing that people are repulsed by that.

CaptainMyCaptain · 07/11/2024 07:55

BeardieWeirdie · 07/11/2024 00:38

I donated over 50L to the milk bank (super boobs!) and would have gladly have fed another mother’s baby if needed - and let’s face it, she wouldn’t have asked were she not desperate. Not the same situation but I remember being unexpectedly stuck somewhere once with no option of getting any food and feeling helpless with a crying, hungry toddler. I profoundly grateful to another mother who happily gave me some snacks she had with her.

I also donated milk while still in hospital (1980) we joked that my milk was Gold Top.

I would have no qualms about breastfeeding another baby in an emergency.

FlyingHighFlyingLow · 07/11/2024 07:52

I still breastfeed my 11 month old, never had formula. If I think if a hungry small baby upset I would 1000000% feed them. No questions asked. But if I think about a stranger breastfeeding my child my instincts are like noooooooo! So I can get both sides really.

Redplenty · 07/11/2024 07:52

IdleAnimations · 07/11/2024 01:23

I don’t care if people find me mean or what not, but absolutely not.

I understand some women donate milk but to have another baby on your breast? No, it just feels wrong. I can’t word why, I suppose because it’s an intimate unique thing for mother and baby?

As a breastfeeding mother, it’d tear me apart to see my baby on another woman’s breast.

I'm assuming the emergency scenario was something like the mother had been taken away in an ambulance and the dad was left with a screaming baby who he had no way of feeding or rehydrating. Still feel resentful if someone else managed to help your child?

hepsitemiz · 07/11/2024 07:49

MadamNoo · 07/11/2024 00:38

You probably shouldn’t read The Grapes of Wrath

This… or at least skip the last chapter!

I once swapped babies with my sister, because hers was sick and a bit off his fodder, and mine was in a growth spurt and voracious. I was low on milk and she was engorged, so we just swapped for a day. Worked great. Would have done it with any other consenting mum had it made sense…

DappledThings · 07/11/2024 07:47

nosleepforme · 07/11/2024 07:38

theres some confusion here. There’s a difference between a child drinking your donated milk (out of a bottle) and being breastfed.

Yes a difference but not a significant one to everyone. That's not confusion, just not as big a difference to everyone.

stichguru · 07/11/2024 07:46

Milk is milk. Getting safe milk into the infant that needs it is what matters.

Baseline14 · 07/11/2024 07:45

I have one friend who I know I would have fed her child and she would have fed mine but the situation never arose.

My youngest was born in the middle east and I donated my whole stash when we moved back. There was no official milk bank there so it was back door fb marketplace dealings so none of the milk was tested as such, they just had to trust me. One lady who collected was Muslim and told me that because I had fed her child our children were milk siblings and could not marry. I find that pretty cool that this bond exists with my children and these children.

FlingThatCarrot · 07/11/2024 07:44

I also see no difference between donated milk in a bottle and mill straight form the breast. Other than one is fresher!