Breastfeeding a stranger’s child

My sister fed my DD once for me because I was detained and my DD was hungry. My DN was three months older so my sister was producing much more milk…my DD was drowning in it 😂

Sure part of the definition of an emergency situation is that it is a situation that is unpredictable and may not have been able to prepare for it. You can’t prepare for all types of emergency situations and sometimes you get caught out.

Even if your baby was starving and you were unable to feed her and there were no other options?

Then I suggest you don’t watch the “Milky Sue” episode of the sitcom Man Down, which I thought of immediately when I read your post.

Also wet nursing is as old as the hills. If babies need feeding it's second nature to feed them if mother can't.

Huge awe and respect to the posters here who donate to the milk bank.

It's such a generous act 👏👏👏👏👏👏

Yep. They were all stubborn little sods who wouldn't give it up easily and I was knackered and just wanting sleep tbh. It was easier at the time co-sleeping and letting them latch on and feed them to sleep than force them to go cold turkey.
We got there eventually but it was a bit of a mare. That's why I don't judge either way. I only judge those that think I was prolonging it on purpose when in fact, I was touched out by the end. Needed more family/husband support (all three DC were weaned quite early actually, this was just a dream feed/habit/comfort thing first thing in the morning/last thing at night and one halfway through the night, oh, and if they were ill but it takes its toll, especially with DC1 as I was also working 8-4).

No need to start insulting or shaming other women who aren't comfortable with it.

Pretty much all of us on here are Western and a lot of us would've had foresight before a long journey to pack emergency formula. If breastfeeding is established, the need for another woman to assist would be tiny unless the mother is incapacitated.

You don't know what the other woman has drunk, taken medication wise nor their hygiene. The most I would possibly understand is expressing into some form of cup for the baby to drink from at a push.

I wouldn't feed another woman's baby as a current breastfeeding woman as I'd worry my own babies supply would be diminished.

Finally, I still find it weird but you do you.

This is my thinking too - if someone was really stuck and there was no other option to feed their child I would have no problem breastfeeding them if the parent was happy and it benefitted the child. I also feel weird about ds being fed by someone else but I think that's in part what this poster is saying, and also in part because bf is quite an intimate and emotionally charged part of my parenting ds. And letting someone else in on that feels strangely uncomfortable. But as others say the milk bank is there to fulfill a legitimate need and I would never want to be in a position where ds was hungry/thirsty and I had no way to feed or quench him.

@IdleAnimations

Your western privilege is very clear.

I don't know where I would go to buy formula where I live let alone pre packaged formula.

I very much doubt my nearest airport which serves a large tourist population would sell pre packaged formula. I'm not even sure they would have formula.

I did it for a friend who became gravely ill while BF. It was really no big deal.

Because the book was written by a man who didn't feel the need to do any research into women's bodies, that's how!

Goodness I’d much rather a stranger breastfed my baby that give my babies formula. Always.

I would also feed a stranger‘s baby if wanted/needed.

I breastfed for 15 years in total and think it’s an amazing thing.

I fed that long, it saved DD having to be admitted to hospital at 2.5 after a particularly awful bout of norovirus. They go back to almost newborn frequency when the molars come through then decrease to practically never.

I did double take when a women was feeding her toddler after I'd finished, the woman's child looked massive to be bfing but was probably only 1 and it took me back to feeding DD and I remembered DD was exceptionally tall and the size of a 5 year old by the time we finished but you actually don't even notice that when you are the one feeding them it's just your normal.

I find it sad that you found this disturbing. A baby starving and a woman with what he needs to sustain him. What could be less disturbing than that? It was the obvious thing to do and lucky to have a woman on hand who could do this for him. Good on her and his mum.

I know a few people who breastfed for that long, I couldn’t do it personally (gave up at 18m) but when they get to 1-1.5 they’re usually only feeding mornings and evenings anyway.

3 years each??!!

Well if the baby was going to go without food…….
And women donate breast milk for newborns.

And you’ve never lived in a developing country where a woman can ( and sadly many do) die in childbirth or soon after. If another new mum doesn’t feed the baby it will die a painful death too. When life is very, very harsh you can’t afford to be squeamish.

@Elleherd

This is beautiful, I'm so sorry for that baby

I would be interested to know the circumstances

I think it's interesting you find it disturbing, would you be disturbed if she'd fed the baby a bottle of formula?

I guess breastfeeding a baby is very intimate, I would find it upsetting if another woman fed my baby, but then I would find it just as upsetting if another person gave my baby a bottle too.

How was she compelled? Did someone point a gun at her head?

I think it’d a really successful campaign by baby formula makers. It’s insidious in a way. It’s led to lots of problems in countries which don’t necessarily have the means to make up formula safely.

When my baby was in nicu they had donated milk. I was able to express enough so had no need. I would have had no issue with donating milk if I had excess supply. I personally would have found it difficult to breastfeed a baby I didn't have a bond with as it's a very personal experience. However I have no issue with someone else doing it.

Why is it weird ? Would you offer a spare bottle to a baby in distress who needed one ? Of course you would. I'd feed any baby who NEEDED it.

If the parents said OK then I don't see the issue. We all drink milk from cows we don't know! Milk is milk, Society has just made breastfeeding weird for some silly reason.