Or is my husband - doesn't want sex unless stop cosleeping with DC

It’s not. I’d get into the specifics of why but I can’t actually be bothered.

The thing is - you evidently do give a shiny shit and need validation, or you’d have not wasted your precious time shouting at strangers about your wonderful parenting. It’s very clear that you are very bothered.

Congratulations on raising your three children to adulthood.

I’m sure you’ve done a great job, however personally I’m not sure it’s necessary we all present you with a round of applause and a Mother Medal for bringing up your own kids.

@adriftinadenofvipers I see you are now trying to justify your argument on the basis that your chilldren turned out better than ours? Really?

Do,people really behave like that in a marriage @PostScriptum or do they just post stuff like that on anonymous forums as advice for other people?

It's a good idea to get her son sleeping through the night given his age but to carry this out as a side issue on a revenge plot...

Regardless of hygiene, shagging on a sofa is uncomfortable and unappealing. I really can’t understand why some people think that it’s wrong to not have sex somewhere that you don’t want to.

You both like it? Crack on. But to accuse someone of being manipulative or pathetic because they don’t want to have sex under certain conditions is really concerning.

Yep they would indeed!

OP, you are NOT being unreasonable.
unlike PP, you know your child best, you know your life circumstances- there must be a reason why your child needs you at night… (perhaps catching up for mummy time if you’re working long hours or something else)

In fact, I would congratulate you for finding a way to ensure everyone gets some sleep by co sleeping. Your husband should be grateful and happy, but he isn’t.
i think you should allow him to EXPERIENCE the set up he is proposing so that he could actually appreciate co sleeping.

The response to your DH might be:

“Honey, you are right, let’s try keeping this bed just for us. Since I was looking after our DC during the nights for last 6 months (by cosleeping), it is only fair - that for next 6 months you will be looking after DC at nights.”

let your DH march to DC’s room at night when DC inevitably calls out multiple times and DH to stay there until DC settles - no matter how long it takes. Use earplugs if needed yourself (it won’t last more than few nights)

my guess is that after a few such nights (when DH actually has to do the nighttime care), DH will only be HAPPY and GRATEFUL for the co sleeping arrangement.

Not a fan of throws and blankets on my sofa.

But I don’t think they were invented just so people could use them to have sex on…

Nowts wrong with me, don’t worry. But to answer your question yes, I’ve shagged on sofas. Only sofas when I knew it was just me and previous partners sitting on them afterwards.

Kids in the house, who also sit on the sofa. Shagging = in the bed.

Isn't that what big throws/blankets are for?

My former childminder used to shag my very married neighbour on her sofa, and my kids had to sit on it! WTF do you suggest I should have done???

Have you never shagged on the sofa? What is wrong with you?! lol

Your experience is very limited in fairness! It does make a huge difference.

My experience as a mother of three adults has been denigrated here but thank fuck, I couldn't give a shiny shit! Fortunately I don't need validation from randoms on a public site, but people could learn from me! I'm not about to waste that experience on randoms who think they know better!

Clean what?

My already clean sofa that I use to sit on, or yours, after your and your H have shagged on it?

Just fucking clean it!

Sex on the sofa is absolutely fine if it’s only you and your spouse who sits on there.

But if you have guests and children who sit on it also, after youve shagged that’s fucking vile. Not repressed at all.

Oh stop it. Having one child or 17 doesn’t make any difference here.

Are parents of one child inferior somehow? Shall they ALL report straight to the spare room?

You think. With your one child. Sure.

well what can he do. She has made it clear that she 'likes it with DC in their bed' and won't hear of changing that.
The relationship is stuffed tbh

I would like mine to feel secure and safe without me, and to learn early that their bedroom isn’t distressing.

I won’t be backing up their (incorrect) idea that they need constant parental presence, even when they’re asleep, or that their bedroom isn’t their safe place.

In other news - he’s actually awake, having been asleep since 9pm, if you know anyone who’s interested in co-sleeping!

I have lots “of clue,” thanks. You’re stuck on a condescending angry loop at this point.

We currently have a co-sleeping 5 year old.

Most of our sex happens downstairs when he’s asleep up in our bed…. not ideal but clearly we’re not going to have sex near him and we don’t want no sex.

Or we schedule lunch breaks where we can have sex in our bed.

It may not be spontaneous etc but it’s still enjoyable and keeps us sexually connected. One day I’m sure we’ll get our bed back to ourselves!

Whatever. I am now officially bored with the individuals who know nothing about co-sleeping and are dissing the experience of someone who does.

I actually feel sorry for parents who haven't had the positive experience that I did, but I am not prepared to argue any more with my detractors.

I'm so happy with the life I've had with my husband and my children, and no amount of criticism can impact on that.

And he is doing fuck all to change the situation!! Because he 'can't settle' their child??

No, quote me where I said that!

And I think you are talking utter shit. Having your children in bed with you actually develops their confidence, because they feel totally secure and safe. Leading them to be comfortable to move out to their own room when they are ready means that they never suffer any distress

My children who co-slept with me have gone on to have the most amazing life experiences. I am not going to share those because it would be outing, but they have lived in places and had experiences way beyond the average. I am so proud of them, and they have achieved so much. So please don't patronise me. I've no interest.

You know what you can do with your 'apron strings'. You don't have the first clue!

I didn't say it, either. I suggest you follow your own advice and read what I wrote more carefully?

You did, however, say that having sex while a child was present in the room 'was normal and natural'. Yes?