Or is my husband - doesn't want sex unless stop cosleeping with DC

She hasn’t at any point said she would have sex with her child in the bed. Wished people would read the post properly!!

You are. I wouldn't want to have to decamp for a shag. If I were your husband, I'd move to the spare room and actually sleep without getting woken up by a 3-year old.

It’s 100% not okay to have sex with your almost 3 year old (or any age child!) IN the bed with you.

DH has declared that he is uncomfortable having sex when a toddler is in our bed.

It appears to be you that can’t read.

YABVU. Your child is nearly 3 and should be sleeping in their own bed. Your husband is right and shouldn’t have to feel like he is on the schedule or playing musical rooms. Time to put baby in bed and give your husband some love!

Agree with some of the previous posts, your child needs to sleep in his own bedroom and bed, it will get harder for you to make the change the older he gets.
Also it is very disrupting to a marriage having a child permanently in the bed, let alone not having sex. Your marital bedroom is a place where you have alone time as a couple, not just to have sex but conversations and intimacy just from being together.
We never co-slept with our daughter because we both felt it would be a huge infringement on our space, so I did all the yo-yoing between our bedrooms.

DH = dear husband.
DC = dear child.
DW = dear wife.
DP - dear partner.

FIL/MIL/PIL -father in law, mother in law, parents in law.

DSis/DBro - dear sister/brother.

Hope this helps, @Anna1mac.

YABU

It would personally be a turn off for me if my partner was only willing to have sex in one place, plus the “not wanting to have sex on a schedule” comment would put me off as well. When you’ve got kids, there has to be some element of planning, and my body isn’t up for grabs 24/7.

Hang on... "DH has declared that he is uncomfortable having sex when a toddler is in our bed"... as in you're actually wanting to have sex when your toddler is in the bed? That is a child protection issue and sufficient to remove. If you don't appreciate that you need to seriously look at educating yourself ASAP

What does DH and DC mean?? Husband yes, child yes but what the heck does H stand for??

YABU

You are at a stalemate. I don’t think either of you are being unreasonable per se but what you each want is not compatible.

Either accept no sex or settle the DS in to own bed.

I do think your DP is unreasonable if he doesn’t also support with the transition, however. This could be getting up to make a drink for you if he can’t do the settling himself.

A 3 year old generally can understand and is very different from 2 year old. You’d have to be committed to it yourself though, but as you said you like it so aren’t really. Your DS will pick up on it if you do it half heatedly though.

Understand the guy tbh. At three it’s time for you to get your relationship back.

I know it’s hard, three was about the age I stopped bf and encouraged independence and separate sleeping and it went very smoothly. You have to be consistent with it and you’ll find you all sleep better. Your child is waking because he gets affection and attention, you have to be neutral and just keep putting them to bed with reassurance.

I'm with your husband on this one. Your bed should be a space for you and husband. A toddler needs to learn how to sleep in their own bed. I used to watch super nanny and she'd show the parents techniques on this.

I think co-sleeping is weird, and everyone I know who did it/does it, has issues later, whether with separation issues (parent or child or both), or with relationship with partner. Without exception. Not sure that helps, but it’s my experience. Oh, and yes, I’m a parent.

Teach child to sleep in own room, or move rooms
with your child and have sex in main bed.

This is what I did. They started off in their own bed but usually can e into mine in the night. Often id just find them there in the morning

TheWinderHorse
The truth of the matter is that co-sleeping is not at all bad for children

That depends on the age of the child. Under 1, they are safer in their own cot.
(Appreciate it’s a 3 year old in question on this thread).

YABVU

Does he have to start off in your bed though? Can he not go to his own bed, and then if he wakes up in the night you could bring him in for snuggle? So you and husband have atleast a couple of hours, and hopefully going forward eventually all night!
Yes I think you are being unreasonable

It is a big ask if he’s not willing to put in the effort to make it happen by doing an equal amount of getting up in the night and settling the kids too.

Iny experience those who repeatedly and heatedly state how very happy they are and how wonderful their lives are........ aren't.

People who are truly comfortable and content with the decisions they've made don't feel the need to defend themselves so aggressively (on a thread they didn't even start).

toddlers is disgusting
Cosleeping with a 2yo is 'disgusting'? You've come on throwing around 'batshit' and all sorts after coming out with the above gem? What an aggressive and frankly weird post.

I disagree with co-sleeping even for newborns (thats why you get the nursery and cot ready for when you come home with them), but toddlers is disgusting. And that would be an instant boner killer for a male I could imagine. Massive ICK. Who tf wants to have sex with your toddler next to you? Put the child in his bed where he should have been all along. Or else you'll risk your marriage. I can think of nothing worse than having to share the bed with husband and toddler at the same time or waking up to that.

DC will not go back to sleep, just gets more agitated). If we were to end cosleeping I'd just end up marching back and forth between our room and DC's all night, or camping in DC's room

Christ! That is batshit fucking ridiculous! You've really made a rod for your own back. Wtf were you even thinking? This is why they need their own room from day one, and to be trained properly and not given in to. Cryst almighty I could never live like that as a parent, I've heard of spoiled/soft parenting, but that is beyond ridiculous. How your husband has put up with this for so long I don't know, but you should be thanking him for putting up with this nonsense and apologising to him. Poor guy (and I almost never take the side of the male, ever).