Or is my husband - doesn't want sex unless stop cosleeping with DC

I think (hope) the OP means they don’t have sex when the LO is in the bed not that they have been doing. Could you make the second bedroom nicer, clear it out and make it cosy and appealing so you can spend time there in the evening? I wouldn’t stop co sleeping if you want to and you are the one having to settle your child otherwise

Having sex in the same room as any child over 6 months raises red flags with social services. In the same bed as a 3 year old? You're being very unreasonable. I say this as someone who co slept with my kids until they in double figures.

Wow. You’re totally wrong. In every way.

And you really need to teach your child to sleep in his own bed. It’ll be a difficult first few weeks because you’ve allowed this to go on, but he will get through that and start sleeping properly.

Thank god your husband objected to sex with your sleeping child in the bed. That’s… that’s abuse.

So what I did was settle my kids in their own beds from about the age of 2. Then at the first wake up they'd come in with us, by 3 they would typically toddle in to us (might take a few weeks for this to be established) meaning very little disturbance in the night for me. DH could go and get them if they were calling. Then we'd cosleep for the rest of the night. This meant couples time in bed at the start of the night was a possibility. However I do think your DH is being quite inflexible. Editing to say that it has reduced over time so this approach means cosleeping won't last forever. My 9 year old hasn't come in with us for years unless she's sick in the night. My 5 year old often sleeps through but will have phases of coming in with us at some point in the night, averaging every other night. I love it when she does as I know it won't last forever. DH a bit less keen but will get up and sleep in her bed on occasion if she's disturbing him.

YABU

You are obviously being unreasonable. He doesn't want sex on a schedule on your sofa, he wants it in your and his marital bed? Your kid has their own bed. Sort yourself out.

Op didn't say they have sex with the toddler there, she said there's other places they could have sex (sofa or spare room)
However I still think sh is right

Your husband is being entirely reasonable to want to have sex in his own bed.

It goes without saying (or not, apparently?) that this should never happen with your child in the same bed.

Please don't tell me you're having sex in the same room as your three year old 😫

I know it feels a long way off but if you don't start moving DC out now, they'll still be there at 10. I didn't let it go til 10 but I really created a rod for my own back.

Have you had sex next to your sleeping child?

YABU.

Yes ! That is a major safeguarding concern

IMO your child needs to be taught to sleep in their own bed.

That you have sex while your child is in your bed is really inappropriate IMO.

WTF and YABU.

You have sex next to your sleeping 3 year old?

You are the unreasonable one here.