Or is my husband - doesn't want sex unless stop cosleeping with DC

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Sorry OP, it’s time for them to adjust to their own bed. For the sake of your child and your marriage.

If the father is uncomfortable and feels it is inappropriate then the solution isn't co-sleeping. To be quite honest from a child protection aspect no man I know would put themselves in a vulnerable position.

Child goes to childcare makes a reference to father and mother in their bed and any innocent comments could trigger SS. Naivety isn't going to stop that bomb going off in someone's life.

Absolutely grim wanting to have sex with your 3yo in the same bed.

Lots of things are normal in other cultures, it doesn't mean that it translates well to ours though.

Which is the only reason they need to work together to find a solution that works for them all. It makes no different whatsoever what normal is.

100% with your husband.

Your child should be sleeping alone now.

This is all very wrong.

Not read all replies, just OPs posts.

OP has not once stated she is having sex next to her 3 year old, rather has noted it is understandable that that should not be happening. DH doesn't want to have sex in the spare room. Going against grain here but I don't understand the massive issue with co sleeping. It is culturally appropriate in so many places around the world and often until a much older age (generally stops prior to adolescence). Generally what happens is, child/ren are put to bed in 'marital' (family) bed and then couple have few hours evening together during which sex can be had elsewhere, e.g. spare room. Then, they or just mum returns to 'marital' bed to sleep alongside kids and dad is present or sleeps elsewhere. Tadaaaaa. I get that this doesn't work for a lot of people but it is the norm world over in many cultures. It certainly doesn't prevent those cultures from having sex and I think they'd not love that so many are labelling the situation as abnormal.

It isn't working for the husband!🤦‍♀️

I think he's been pretty patient to get to three years co-sleeping and now would probably be a good time to transition away. You're not unreasonable for wanting to co-sleep but you've had three years and it would be good if DC learnt to sleep on their own now, i'm sure DC will come back in the bed sometimes but would be nice for your husband to establish a baseline x

Put a camp bed in DCs room. Sleep on there and then gradually spend less time on it. I just switched to staying with them till they fell asleep.

Co sleeping is all well and good but not at the expense of your marriage

Right, so it's not about what works for you, and considering your own situation, it's about doing what other people do regardless of how that feels, or whether it makes you happy.

He is not being unreasonable but he needs to train 3 year old to sleep in his own bed if he wants to have sex so much. You've given him an alternative. Hes not happy. Tell him to sort sleeping out if he will only have sex in bed.

Generally practices develop where they sense and support the values and lives of the people.

An example would be that people eat animals we have as pets , our values and lives differ. So yes it does matter.

Very much so.

So the one doing all the settling is being lazy, and the one doing fuck all but making demands is fine?

This. They will be in school next year just start it now. Parenting is all about change and the next phase. This is the next phase. Value your relationship with your DH and some adult time.

Once you let your child into your bed, you'll never get them out.

IMO it's just lazy parenting to not get up and settle a child who needs it. If your kid is upset, get up.

It's lazy parenting to not make the effort to help your child feel safe and comfortable in their own space and learn to relax and drift off to sleep. Your short cut is a short cut for you, not their long term security. You're just helping them to be sad/lonely/scared in their own space. Get out of bed and parent!

OP, use the forthcoming festivities to make their bedroom nice with decorations and twinkling (battery operated) lights to make going to bed and staying in bed a nice feeling.

Yes no one wants to mess about like that but the issue is the child needs to be in their own bed and if he wants that to happen they both should take a turn with the upping and down in the nights while they are trying to get them in own bed.

‘Dh has declared that he is uncomfortable having sex when a toddler is in our bed…understandable’ I read that as they have had sex whilst the 3 year old is in bed beside them, but her DH found it inhibiting….🤷‍♀️

The 1950s attitude that a woman needs to serve her man by solo parenting his children however he says, so that he can have sex how he wants I was referring to. I think you know that though.

They may not have co slept then, they also smacked their kids, smoked in the house and didn't wear seatbelts. I don't see your point.

I'm in the minority but I love cosleeping too. My 3 year old is currently sleeping in the middle. My husband enjoys it too and gives our child a little kiss just before he goes to sleep.

I think your husband is being unreasonable. Your son isn't going to share your bed forever and will want his own space soon enough. Your husband is boring and unadventurous. Sex only in bed is pretty vanilla. If he won't entertain other places, then I would just go without. I wouldn't disturb my childs contentment for sex.

OP the way you have worded this suggests your husband doesn't want to have sex in the bed with your 3 year old sleeping, but you do? WTF?

If your DH can come up with a solution then fair enough. If he's just expecting you to put all the hard work and do all the night settling then he can fuck right off.

You will kill your marriage. I thought your DC was going to be a baby in which case yanbu. But three? Come on.