Or is my husband - doesn't want sex unless stop cosleeping with DC

Hard disagree with putting the child in its room!! Do it when you are ready!

My kids are all adults but I will never forget the desperation of sleep deprivation where you will do just about anything to get some sleep! I think that's more important than where you have sex!

@dhnosex he is. 1000%!! He's being a selfish arse tbh.

What is he going to do when your DC is a teenager and they seem to be fucking everywhere in the house at the same time and the hearing of a bat???

We cosleeper for years and years. I think my DD was 6 when she finally stayed in her own room. She was just attached to me and wanted to be close. Husband slept in the spare room and we would have conjugal visits in there or the shower or if she was out or whatever. Was never a big deal. I’d hate to only be able to have sex at 8 pm flat on my back in the “marital bed”. DD was small for such a short time, now she lives with a flatmate an hours drive away and I wish we could sleep close again.

I think your Dh is being unreasonable. He won’t/cant get up with or settle the kids in the night, and won’t have sex in another room despite that being an option. He sounds very controlling. Enjoy sleeping with your child - plenty of studies show that co-sleeping is good for kids. Co-sleeping is the norm in many societies. Call his bluff with the sex. You’ve offered a viable alternative - if he doesn’t want that, it’s on him, not you.

I wouldn't be comfortable having sex with a 3 year old in the room, and never have done.

My grandparents reared 11 children in a 2 bed house. Eight of them were their own, the other three cousins whose mother had died. I wonder how they managed...

Your views were hugely objectionable and much more extreme than most others criticising what they don't understand!

She does if she wants a decent night's sleep, and the sex god won't deign to settle his child!!

Can you just for a second acknowledge there’s a life outside your house.

I do know an 11 year old that is anxiously attached to his mother and won’t leave her bed. My cousins son. I know an 8 year old who won’t sleep alone, he lives in my house. I knew a 12 year old still doing it, my brother. Started after my parents separation and it took him til secondary to get out of it.

Great, your kids moved. I wouldn’t have put them there to begin with, but good for you. Some people’s children - don’t.

Complete and utter rubbish. I've never met an 11 year old who wanted to sleep with their parents!! Mine had all moved out before they started school.

Yeah it is. I just think if we’re going to start telling men where they can and can’t have sex, we should expect to be called hypocrites.

They too are allowed preferences!

I don’t even like dh trying to cuddle as I’m trying to sleep let alone little octopuses in my bed lol

Mine is 😂💁🏻‍♀️

But I’d still rather not be getting booted in the back off an 8 year old all night, thank you kindly!

But sex in the kitchen is ‘alternative’. In bed it’s pretty normal

He refuses to - it's the marital bed or not at all!! Selfish prick.

Having sex whilst a child over 6 months old is present is classed as abuse, sexual abuse. And it's classed as sexual abuse for very good reasons.

If you cannot understand then you are not safe to be around children.

Yes, some parents can't wait to fuck their tiny babies out of their bedroom to sleep all on their own. That didn't work for us. I always worked FT and it was lovely to watch their little sleeping faces in the night, and be there first thing when they started waking sleepy talked rubbish - so cute! They never had to cry for attention when they woke up because I was there. I'm so glad I had that experience.

I mean it’s pretty normal to have sex in a bed very vanilla so not exactly a terrible demand.

My man’s not tall enough to do kitchen work top sex. Sadly 🤣

There are some awfully tight apron strings on this thread.

It's not "wrong" at all. You just have a very limited comprehension of what's 'right'!!

contrary to what others are saying - you don’t need to stop cosleeping at all, it’s totally normal. But obviously do not have sex if your 3yo is in bed… maybe that’s a misleading title for the thread!
I feel like your husband is being unreasonable by withholding it if it’s not in bed!! I get he wants cuddles after but surely that may have to wait… co sleeping won’t be forever!!!
A marriage isn’t based purely upon sex, why do we as women have to think that! You still love each other right?

That is absolute nonsense! "Once you let your child into your bed, you'll never get them out" is just not true!! All of mine moved to their own room without any issue, at just under 2 for the eldest, and over 4 for the other two. It's not "lazy parenting" and even if it was, surely everyone getting a full night's sleep is a huge priority? Is breastfeeding also "lazy parenting" in your eyes? Much less effort and faff than bottles? I don't actually GAF if anyone thinks it's "lazy" - it worked! I was working FT and didn't have the energy for broken sleep!

My children felt safe and secure in bed with me, to the extent that when it was time for them to move out, they did so very easily. They were never "sad/scared/lonely" (what a load of fucking tripe!) in either bedroom. They all went to sleep independently, and I joined them later.

Zero regrets! I would do it all again in the morning. Happy times! You missed out!

Imagine if a bloke told a woman she could only have sex in the kitchen. We’d all be in uproar, calling him controlling and saying he’s taken away her choice.

Weird.

Co sleeping is most certainly not abusive, it is natural and still common in many societies (thank god!) and I imagine having sex in the same room as a sleeping child is also fairly common if we consider all the different societies and look at behaviours over time. Having separate rooms is quite new in historical terms and far from universal.
And as the op has stated there are other ways to have sex anyway so hardly an issue.
My view is the husband is being ridiculous and if he sees the situation as a problem and does not like the suggested solution (spare room or sofa for sex) then he can work on the alternative himself (supporting the toddler in sleeping in his own bed). Personally I love co sleeping and I wouldn't be keen on his ridiculous attitude. Life is too short for this nonsense. My husband and I co sleep with our 4yrs old (in fairness we moved the other children out of our bed aged 2 but our youngest has additional needs so she is staying put for the foreseeable). We can still be intimate in other suitable ways and places.

Selfish for wanting to sleep in his own bed with his own missus? And yeah to have sex in it. Hardly a strange thing to want. Loads of couples have sex in their beds.

YABU. Why aren't you encouraging your child's independence?