Ruined the wedding dress i was going to send back

I think both dresses look lovely on you, but I prefer the 'disaster dress'. If you really like the second dress though and if it's price is less than or similar to the cost of the alterations to the first dress, I would go with that.

Wrt the stained dress, there are various ways to alter the fit of a dress, so it could be worth taking it to another dressmaker for a second opinion.

Go with the disaster dress. It is extremely flattering from the back, which is a consideration for a wedding dress. Make sure you get the right underwear and it will be perfect.
Rogue dress is fine, but not as flattering to your figure, in my view.

Surely this is what household insurance is for?

Accidental damage of something in your home!

Rogue dress looks gorgeous on you! Sell the disaster, wear the rogue

Much prefer disaster dress.

Dress B looks incredible and like it was made to fit you. But only you know which makes you feel great.

If it were me I would chalk it up as a loss and try to sell Dress A second hand UNLESS finances really don't allow, in which case I would keep the only unreturnable dress (Dress A) and make it work.

Your figure looks better from the back of disaster dress than the rogue dress, but the disaster dress looks shapeless and bland from the front. The rogue dress visually looks better in terms of style but it’s not a flattering fit.

Well I think I prefer the disaster dress… can not see a stain!
personally I’d send it back and get the size you want.

I like stained dress better tbh even with the current makeshift lace.

I don't think you're doing anything wrong but it's different than in a shop where you put the clothes that don't fit straight back.

If it's any consolation, I accidentally got foundation on the chest area of my wedding deess, 20 minutes before leaving for the ceremony! I had a full on panic attack, my Sister calmed me down, our amazing photographer got most of it out (with perfume!). Nobody noticed (until I had a few drinks at our amazing reception and told anyone who would listen!).

What?! How is it cheeky? I order everything in 2 sizes, and send back the ones that didn’t fit. All I do is try them all, how is it different from trying it on in a store?! Last time I ordered clothes worth £300 from Zara - everything in 2 sizes. The return process is easy, I never had an issue with it. I work as a nurse, crazy hours, and I have 2 young children - I have no time to go shopping. Why is ordering clothes and sending back the unwanted items, cheeky??!
Please, someone tell me I’m not doing anything wrong?!

Really? I'd be very annoyed. Dry cleaning chemicals smell funny to me and I wouldn't want them all over a brand new dress I'd bought.

I totally disagree with this, as I used to work at a fashion retailer where the policy was to encourage customers to order things in different sizes or try different options. In fact, physical retail stores stock less ranges now, because customers have access to the full catalogue online - customers are essentially told to order in what they want if they can’t find what they need in store.

If someone is merely trying something on and returning it, why can’t the retailer sell it as new? I find this really confusing considering I worked in an environment where people tried on clothes in store which we still sold as new. I haven’t worked in retail for a while but I can’t imagine practices have completely changed in the manner you describe.

Some people don’t seem to have worked out the mail order business model.

Shops absolutely do resell returns, clothing shops in particular, just as they do in high street shops. Tech shops resell returns as new if unopened or as refurbished if they have been opened.

Only someone who doesn’t buy many clothes could possibly think measuring yourself would make any difference when sizing differs so much between brands.

@Viviennemary didn't say do that. She's suggesting you go to the shop to try things on, if you don't have an idea of what suits you. You cannot tell until you wear something whether it will flatter or not, so you do need to try on several dresses, but you don't need to order them and then send several back. I don't get the thing about not being able to re-sell dresses that have been returned as unsuitable, though. Dresses are tried on in shops all the time and just get put back on the rack.

No, I don't think so, unless you live somewhere remote like the Shetlands. Ordering off the internet is a pain because most things don't fit and sending back extras now costs quite a lot (no more free returns on many sites) and you cannot know the quality until you see the item. As to shoes, women's lasts come in so many different patterns that it's advisable to go to a shop, I think.

Totally unfair on a business to order several items at once to try on and send back. They can't resell as new and end up selling in batches to recycle wholesalers at a loss. Just measure yourself before you order it's not that hard.

OP, just wanted to send you some love and sympathy. We've all fucked up at some point and sadly for you, this one will cost 😞 it doesn't help practically but I feel you ❤️ although you are building personal resilience which will always help you in life 😙

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding and best wishes for a long and happy marriage x

Yes I think they should charge deposits, only credited to the one you buy.

Why!? Did you only try on the one dress and buy that one when you got married?

The whole point of online ordering is so you can try things on at home and check sizes etc. retailers know that sizes vary from one item to another, I’ve tried things on that even the same item is different in size! So of course people order several things and send back the ones they don’t want. Not only is it acceptable but expected!