Ruined the wedding dress i was going to send back

The disaster dress is gorgeous. I think the pinned on extras are not sitting properly (as they are only pinned to try to get the general effect) so this is making the dress look less flattering from the front.

There's nothing wrong with paying postage for delivery and returns.

It's still not cheeky. Not sure why you think it is. Do you never try different outfits in a store changing room to see what looks right on you? And leave what you dont want? Is that cheeky too?

I love the second dress, I’m really surprised others are saying the disaster dress! I would try the next size down though (although appreciate you’re probably fed up of buying and returns). I also think it’d be less stressful as you only potentially need to buy one more dress, versus paying £350+ for the seamstress and going to multiple appointments to then wear a dress that you didn’t really want in the first place. If you need to go to the seamstress for the second one at least you’d be wearing the dress you actually want. I’d prefer to put the whole business behind me

why? 🤣🤣

No it isn't. The whole point of online shopping is to try on briefly and return what doesn't fit.

With the tags on and in immaculate condition.

Nothing cheeky about it. No different to trying multiple outfits in a store changing room. And buying the one that's right.

The first dress is gorgeous at the back but does nothing for your figure at the front and i don’t like that pattern.
The second dress is better but too big for you.

I’d be exhausting all options to get the stain out and chancing my arm at taking it back too.

I don't think the disaster dress is the right one for you. You didn't love it when you first tried it on, and now it seems like you're making it work for you because you don't have a choice.
The back is definitely flattering, but the fabric looks quite cheap - the way you can see the darts so visibly through it isn't that nice. And (as you say yourself) it doesn't fit very well.

The 'rogue' dress is lovely IMO. It looks like it would be much nicer to wear (as in, more comfortable). I'd get that one shortened and go for it - it's also cheaper than paying for the alterations. No way would I pay £350 to alter something I didn't love in the first place.

That is a stunning dress!!!!

looks incredible OP ♥️

Definitely dress A with a lace panel of the front. Dress B isn't very flattering at all

I just realised that in the photo of dress 1 you had pinned on that lacy beaded part. I think it is very successful and attractive. If a dress maker put it on perfectly symmetrically for you with tiny hand stitches it would be lovely.

I think there should be some little darts just below your bust where the dress is a little loose. Overall the dress looks as though it fits you like a glove as it is meant to, but a dressmaker could try letting it out a little in the main seams. Maybe try with the right sort of girdle/ underwear first.

literally everyone does this, your response is bizarre.

If you like the dress then I hope you manage to sort it out - and I know this sounds expensive - but if you don't like it I'd see if I could sell it and hopefully get one you did like.
I had my dress made and couldn't try it on in advance. They didn't make it as I asked and I had no shape in it but because my aunt was so upset I didn't like it I didn't complain and wore it. I had a lovely day, and I'm not normally bothered about things like clothes and how I look, but even now nearly 25 years on I regret not wearing a dress I loved. (Still had the best day ever though and it isn't really about the dress but I can't help sometimes wishing I'd looked good on my wedding day). Whatever you decide I hope you have a fabulous day and even more important a long and happy life together x

You look lovely in both of them. I prefer the first one but with a figure like yours, you could wear an old bin bag and look good.

I am sorry, I had not seen the style in the pictures means there are no sleeves.

The stains did not seem visible, OP. It does not seem such a disaster.

Well done for your honesty, by the way. All best wishes for your wedding. It will all work out and be lovely.

I would have a dressmaker or sewer friend appliqué a suitable piece of cloth/cloth with lace/whatever over the entire section of the dress’s panel where the stained section is.

Make it a feature by adapting with sections of the same over sleeve/ cuffs/ or another suitable part.

Another vote for disaster dress

OP has already said she doesn’t have a lot of options re bridal shops. Personally I think there must be at least a bridal shop somewhere near her. I’ve known people drive to the other side of London and miles away to get a specific bridal dress.

Disaster dress, your figure looks lovely in it. The dress shows off your nice toned arms.

Agreed with pp, the disaster dress looks amazing. The rogue dress looks nice but not amazing.

I’d get whatever you need done to disaster dress and keep that. It really is stunning and you suit it.

Why ? Most people I know would do this.

I think it’s highly admirable how you’re dealing with this and you never know John Lewis might jelp

indid a very short stint in retail and we always tried as best we could with the customers who were nice. The ones who lie and shout and scream (one customer threw a landline phone at my eye and knocked me out) we don’t want to do mych

you never know x

My wedding dress alterations probably cost nearly as much as the dress

aomeone then said you should advise brides that off the rack dresses can cost as much as the dress to get resized.

How? It will have a tag I assume?

Why? When my two DDs were being flower girls for my neice I must have ordered dozens of dresses and shoes in total, there being different dresses in different sizes for two of them. Much less stressful doing it at home than in a shop where the chances are we would get the perfect dress for one of them but it would be out of stock in the correct size for the other (the bride wanted matching). All but two dresses and two pairs of shoes went back in perfect condition. I think it is just how people shop now.

That said, I do understand that this way of working causes big problems for stores that not only have the cost of processing/checking returns, but also never know exactly what percentage of their sales are going to come back.