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Original poster

To think you shouldn’t call your child Alexander if you don’t like the name Alex?

164 replies

Suchsharpteeth · 06/11/2024 20:58

I met my boyfriend who introduced himself to me as Alex. His friends call him Alex, if we go anywhere and book a meal or book a hotel etc he gives the name Alex.

His family call him Zan. When I’m around them if I call him Alex they go crazy. They say he’s never been an Alex and it’s just not his name. I say well that’s what I call him because that’s how he introduced himself and he doesn’t mind that I call him that. His mum gets annoyed when I call him Alex so I have started referring to him as Zan when I am around her just to keep the peace, but sometimes I forget and she goes into a huff saying “it’s just not his name, i hate the name, I should’ve called him xander” is it just me or is it daft to call your child Alexander and not expect people to shorten it to Alex?? And if he’s fine with Alex then it’s not really her business?!

OP posts:
DownThePubWithStevieNicks · 06/11/2024 21:47

Wbeezer · 06/11/2024 21:35

In Scotland he could have been called Sandy!

Or Alec!

TheHangingGardensOfBasildon · 06/11/2024 21:45

Wbeezer · 06/11/2024 21:35

In Scotland he could have been called Sandy!

Or Eck!

ForPearlViper · 06/11/2024 21:45

I had neighbour with a kid called Nicholas. When he was little she was desperate that the contraction would be Nico and kept pushing it. He is now pushing 40, and always been Nick or Nicky.

When a child starts engaging with others on their own terms, a contraction of their name is their own business.

SimpleThings101 · 06/11/2024 21:45

LouH5 · 06/11/2024 21:40

I agree!

I love the name Amanda, but not keen on Mandy, so I won’t call my daughter Amanda just in case it ends up being shortened.

His mum should’ve thought of this potential problem!

Call her Miranda 💕

Forwardthinkingturtle · 06/11/2024 21:43

Jeez - what’s with the hatred for Alex on this thread? I’m with OP that it’s bonkers not to expect people to shorten Alexander to Alex, I know some lovely people called Alex (male and female!). I personally much prefer it to Xander.

AgainandagainandagainSS · 06/11/2024 21:43

Agree with you.
This is why I couldn’t have Edward on my boy list, or Isabel on my girl list as much as I like the names.

LouH5 · 06/11/2024 21:40

I agree!

I love the name Amanda, but not keen on Mandy, so I won’t call my daughter Amanda just in case it ends up being shortened.

His mum should’ve thought of this potential problem!

Onlyvisiting · 06/11/2024 21:40

Suchsharpteeth · 06/11/2024 21:20

Also it’s not just his mum, it’s his whole family. Every single member of his family calls him zan. He only started going by Alex at college

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If he DID ask you to call him Rupert then you should! He's an adult, he can choose what name he wants to use and you should call him whatever his preference is and stop pandering to his family or they'll never get a grip and move on.

SimpleThings101 · 06/11/2024 21:40

Wbeezer · 06/11/2024 21:35

In Scotland he could have been called Sandy!

and in Ulster 🤣

autienotnaughty · 06/11/2024 21:40

I started using a different nickname when I went to college. So think Christina, family call me Tina everyone else calls me Chris.
My family were also weird about it and would frequently say that's not your name. It made me feel weird and self conscious for preferring a different name

Milkbottlewaffle · 06/11/2024 21:37

I used to be quite precious about my son’s name being shortened to a certain name, but now that he’s 17, he has friends that call him that and it’s just one of the great things about having friends that they sometimes give you nicknames. I love it and really like that he’s finding his identity and own path in life.

I really like that your bf has embraced his name and is enjoying being called Alex. Is sweet that his mum still calls him by his childhood nickname, but she really needs to chill out and get over the fact that shock horror he likes being called Alex!

I would definitely be signing of this year’s Christmas cards to all of his family from SharpTeeth & Alex to make sure that they 100% get the message loud and clear.

Wbeezer · 06/11/2024 21:35

In Scotland he could have been called Sandy!

SimpleThings101 · 06/11/2024 21:34

tilypu · 06/11/2024 21:29

I can call you Betty

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and Betty, when you call me,
You can call me “Al”

Chevy Chase Friendship GIF
TotHappy · 06/11/2024 21:34

Yes, this is why I didn't use Constance because I really don't like Connie. You can't avoid those really obvious shortenings. I think if you had an Elizabeth, you could pick Liz or Beth to go by and people would respect it. But if you have a Bethany or a Megan you should prepare for Beth and Meg. And I've never met a Rebecca who wasn't Becky (and I went to school with A LOT of Rebecca's!)

Whatevershallidowithmylife · 06/11/2024 21:33

Never seen the point in naming someone one name eg Alexander and never actually using it - bonkers - why didn’t they just name him Zan?

Saschka · 06/11/2024 21:32

CatPlanet · 06/11/2024 21:28

The shortening I despise is Al. I mean Al? Really?

Isn’t that Boris Johnson’s actual family nickname? Big Al.

Sandy, Sasha and Ali are all better than Alex IME, but if your DH likes Alex his DM will have to get used to it.

DS goes by a nickname, and if he ever swaps to the full version (or a different nickname) it will take me a while to get used to it but I’m sure I’ll survive. I certainly wouldn’t take it as a personal affront.

PoorlyBlah · 06/11/2024 21:32

Suchsharpteeth · 06/11/2024 21:30

This is just the tip of the iceberg tbh 😬 but I won’t go into that. My boyfriend is so great though that I don’t want her to spoil it so I choose to just distance myself as much as I can and ignore her

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I almost split up with my boyfriend when I first met his mum! She's v v overbearing! But he's now my husband (of 20years!) so I'm glad I didn't end our relationship over a mil! Stick with him and don't worry about her 😉

Willyoujustbequiet · 06/11/2024 21:31

MereDintofPandiculation · 06/11/2024 21:22

Could also call him Sasha

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Ooh I like that.

It's like the name that keeps on giving!

Original poster
Suchsharpteeth · 06/11/2024 21:30

autienotnaughty · 06/11/2024 21:28

I don't think I could be arsed with this. If she's this over bearing is she someone you want long term in your life?

I'd go the other way and use it constantly. So every time you speak to him you use his name. If they say something just say 'i call him Alex like all our friends do' Everytime.

This is just the tip of the iceberg tbh 😬 but I won’t go into that. My boyfriend is so great though that I don’t want her to spoil it so I choose to just distance myself as much as I can and ignore her

OP posts:
tilypu · 06/11/2024 21:29

CatPlanet · 06/11/2024 21:28

The shortening I despise is Al. I mean Al? Really?

I can call you Betty

JollyPinkFox · 06/11/2024 21:29

Start calling him Weird Al and see how his mum responds

PoorlyBlah · 06/11/2024 21:29

unlikelychump · 06/11/2024 21:28

Ive made this mistake with my son called Benjamin...
But he currently uses the derivative we picked so it isn't an issue yet.

Jamin? 'and I hope you like jamin too....' (Bob Marley?)

unlikelychump · 06/11/2024 21:28

Ive made this mistake with my son called Benjamin...
But he currently uses the derivative we picked so it isn't an issue yet.

autienotnaughty · 06/11/2024 21:28

I don't think I could be arsed with this. If she's this over bearing is she someone you want long term in your life?

I'd go the other way and use it constantly. So every time you speak to him you use his name. If they say something just say 'i call him Alex like all our friends do' Everytime.

CatPlanet · 06/11/2024 21:28

The shortening I despise is Al. I mean Al? Really?