To think you shouldn’t call your child Alexander if you don’t like the name Alex?

I’ve been best friends with someone for 27 years. His family call him Daniel. He’s Dan, he’s always been Dan. They get funny with me, but after 27 years they’re relenting 😂

I love the name Alexander but I didn’t want it to be shortened to Alex so if called my son something else.

"Zander" is just a silly pretentious pretense of a name that doesn't, in fact, exist...

Well, no, clearly it does exist, it's been around for years and is used by and for a lot of men. There's nothing pretentious about it. It's just a choice people are entitled to make, but I think most people would take a realistic attitude like OP's boyfriend and understand that it's virtually inevitable that some people are going to assume the short form is Alex.

I think his parents' choice of name should be respected, but for some reason a lot of people seem to think that a name like this is fair game when it comes to shortening. It's quite often the school's or other parents' fault who start to refer to Alexander as Alex and once it's stuck with his friends it can never be changed. When really people should respect the fact that his parents would have called him Alex if they wanted his name to be that.

😂

I gave my daughter the full length name on her BC but she was always short version to everyone (and still is) I love the short version, like the long version, just wanted her to have the choice - guess I'm weird doing that way round? 🤣

Our PFB has a name that's commonly shortened - e.g. David/Dave. When he was born we resolve we were always going to use his full name and succeeded till he was 5. When he went to school he started being called by the short form, and he started to use it himself - and ultimately we realised we had been incredibly naive thinking we could stop that happening, and went along with it. Which is what your boyfriend's family should have done, long ago.

We know a Zandy but he is also known as Alex and Alexander. It’s strange that his mum actively wouldn’t like him being called half the actual name she gave him even if she calls him something else.

"Good thing about Alexander is he has lots of variations: Alex, Alec, Sandy, Zander..."

Well, no, he doesn't. He has Alex, and that's basically it. No one uses Alec any more; no one in England has ever been called Sandy (to us, it's the name of the girl in Grease, and in any event if it does in fact derive from Alexander, no one is aware of that); and "Zander" is just a silly pretentious pretense of a name that doesn't, in fact, exist...)

Oh, and calling your child Alexander, which everyone shortens to Alex, when you actually hate the name Alex is massively peculiar...

Call him Al

Because it gives them
a choice/choices as they go through different phases of their lives. But it is daft if parents don't accept their friends may shorten it.

Has he not told his mum that he has chosen to introduce himself as Alex?

My husband’s family all shorten his name but when I first met him and used the short version of his name he didn’t like it, so all his family and sibling partners are allowed to call him the short version but I’m not allowed to. It doesn’t bother me as my brother has the same name so it’s not natural for me to use the short version anyway.

My in-laws are similar. They use a weird short version of husband's very common name, not the universal short version everyone else in the world uses.

Also refuse to shorten my name. Think Rach instead of Rachel - everyone calls me Rach but they steadfastly call me Rachel. It feels odd and formal, esp when they all shorten each other's names. I've said I prefer Rach, but no. ( real names changed here just in case).

Nowt as queer as folk.

My eldest is Joseph
ExH told my parents they would never see Joseph again if they called him Jojo (exH was pissed as per)
My dad had a football top (another exH dislike) printed with Jojo for Joseph
I still have it now, and cherish it 😂😂

My oldest is Matthew. I have always called him Matthew, so does our immediate family. I hate Matt. He is now grown and gets to pick what he wants to be called. Through his teens his friends actually called him Matty (which I also hate lol). He is Matt to most people outside the immediate family, its not my choice and I would never say anything. Oh and I learned my lesson, my 2nd son got a name that comes with a common nickname I like (Nicholas, he goes by Nick, but his great-grandmother and grandmother always called him Nicky. They are the only people he ever let call him that).

For me the shortened version of Alexander will always be Sasha. In most Eastern European countries you would not be Alex, you would be Alexei.

My younger brother is called Michael, but my mother hates the abbreviated form 'Mick' and used to go mad whenever anyone called him that...and both him and me were born in Oz (early 70s) , so during childhood that was about 99.9% of people!

My first husband was also called Michael and I always referred to him as Mike. Luckily his mother didn't have a problem with whatever version was used.

Not up to the parent, it's down to the child. I've an Alexander (very particular reason for the name rather than the name itself & as a result his nickname is Beetle to us) & he decided very very young that he's Alexander, not Alex, & would correct ppl himself.

The only ppl allowed to call him Alex are his biggest brother & his cousin.

I think you can argue on how to pronounce names, as a parent, but not dictate how they are shortened

They sound a bit mad. I mean it’s fair enough to give your child a name and not/like the shortenings of it but when they get older then there’s very little we as parents can do, it’s not our name! My 2 have names that can be shortened and although I haven’t used them, if they decided they wanted to go by the short versions it’s on them and I’d go along with it, it’s their name not mine

I can see how she doesn't like it but equally if he introduced himself like that she should take it up with him if she really must, not you

No idea that Sandy was a nickname for Alexander. Must go and wind up my 49 year old brother about this 😝

Start calling him Er. It's the only bit left. Act totally normal about it and say it's a pet name. Never let your face drop. They sound a bit snobby to be honest

I realised about a year ago that I was more or less the only person in DS's life that ever uses the full form of his name. I have always alternated between full form and short form and felt fleetingly sort-of-sad that the full form is now pretty much a thing of the past.

I hate it when parents try to legislate a short name or nickname for their child. You see it a lot on the baby name threads - people choosing a name with a specified short form baked into their choice, which they expect others to follow (rather than it simply being their own pet names for the child,.

As the child grows it is utterly up to them and their friends, partners, etc to evolve whatever short-forms/nicknames come up naturally.

Also, I agree that Xander is more than a bit wanky.