To think you shouldn’t call your child Alexander if you don’t like the name Alex?

She has no right to dictate what her adult son is called by his partner.

It's not her whom you calling Alex. She needs to suck it up. Next time tell her that her son calls himself Alex and this is what you know him as, so she has to stop interfering.

I have an Alex. I contemplated calling him Alexander to shorten it but what's the point then, I didn't like Alexander.

In contrast I know an Alexander child and always call him his full name as that's what his parents call him. It's disrespectful to shorten someone's name unless they do it themselves.

I don't agree that you should presume a name will be shortened. Your child's name is the name you give them. However I also don't think its worth getting upset about when others find a nickname and you can't control that.

So was mine! He is still trying to make Lex a thing.

As a small child yes. But this is an adult. He has the right to choose whatever nickname, or even totally different name, that he prefers

Insisting on everybody using a four-syllable name in full all the time just sounds stilted to me.

It reminds me of Candice-Marie in Nuts In May, who was never Candice, Candy, Cand, CM or whatever, but her full name had to be used every single time!

Zander/Xander is a name...

people use Alec...

Sandy is used too... https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/profiles/5q8bq2zjZ03LgbBRqjdvlJ7/steven-robertson

Do you live under a rock or something??

My DD has a three letter name and some people shorten it. Honestly didn’t think that would happen. My DS has a four letter name and lots of his friends lengthen it! You really can’t control nicknames.

My own name has a well used shortening but it’s quite weird that the four people who use it are not related/in the same circles so just them who use it when everyone else uses my full name.

My Alexander, has always Been known as Alex ,you cant really force a a different shortening of the name particularly if its not what the "Alexander" in question wants

I’m in the same situation. I’m a Catherine, and my family all call me Cathy, which I absolutely hate and haven’t used since I was about 14. To literally everyone else in my life I’m Kate. They won’t stop, despite numerous asks…

it was up to him to correct you, maybe he likes Alex? I have a son with a name that could easily be shortened to a popular shortening. However it doesn't fit him and nobody has ever done it and he would not want it. So they may think it is redefining his identity or seems formal. I don't know, but it lies there somewhere.

No one in England has ever been called Sandy? 🤔

I had a great uncle Sandy, from London. I've met a few other English male Sandys too.

It's not the most common abbreviation of Alexander but it's not totally unheard of either.

I've just realised Dr. Xand is actually called Alexander. I always wondered why Dr Chris had a very ordinary name and Dr Xand had a more unusual name 😆

Ours is an Alec. I thought I had planned for all the nicknames, wasn't fond of Sandy, but never considered Alec.

Call him pumpkin or babe. Watch them squirm.

My husband has a name that can be shortened and he always introduces himself as the shortened version. I refuse to use it I don’t like it and call him his full name.

My dad also has a name that can be shortened. His family call
him one version, his friends another and my grandparents used his full name. When with his sisters my mum uses their way, I think just out of respect. When I was little I used to ask him why he had so many names 🤣

I think it's so arrogant that people might shorten someone's name if the person prefers to use their full name.

I have a name which can be shortened, but I absolutely do not allow anyone to do so, the shortened version is not my name. DD1 also has a name that can be shortened, while she was growing up I didn't let anyone call her by the shortened name. She's now in her early 30's and always uses the full version, and hates her name being shortened.

If she had chosen to use the shortened version then that would be her choice, but it isn't.

I had a name I loved for DD2, but XH's family immediately started calling her by the shortened version, even before she was born. So I gave her a name that can't be shortened, and gave her my original choice as her middle name.

My view is that no-one gets to call anyone by a shortened version of their name, unless the person requests it.

Madness. Your partner is an adult, he needs to be firm that he doesn't mind his family calling him Zan (if this is true - it's also totally ok for him to insist they use his preferred name!) but he goes by Alex now and they can't give you a hard time for it.
My family uses a different version of my name than my partner and friends (including one cousin) because I changed the name I went by when I was about 12, but don't mind either. It's a bit weird when they're referring to me in different ways but no one gets territorial

I loved the name Alexander and initially tried calling DS Xander (after Buffy character). It didn't seem right. Really affected and try hard.

He gets called Alex. Maybe one day, like my friends he will be dubbed Al. One of the best things about being Alexander is you have a variety of nicknames.

Jesus who are you to say what shortened name people should accept? I have an Alexander and he is definitely the full version. It grates me when people call him Alex and no one ever refers to him as such in our family. If your name was Matilda would you think it unreasonable not to want to be called Tilly? Or Ju for Julie? What a load of shite.

Am I the only one now with "I'm Andy MacKay, I'm Sandy MacKay, twa heilan' lads are we" refusing to leave my head?!

I have an Alexander. He answers to Al, Alex, Ali and Alec. He's okay with any variant or the full name. My (Scottish) parents would have shortened it to Sandy but as we called him Alex they tended to use Alec which was more attuned to their way of speaking. I don't think anyone has ever called him Xander or Zan.
A long name like Alexander will inevitably get shortened by some but it's up to the name holder to correct people if they wish.

Ooh, no, don't call a child Clint - imagine him waking up to a big homemade banner every year saying "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CLINT!"

The easiest option would be just to change his name. Could he pull off Clint or is he more of a Gene?!

I hate my Christian name but my married name is unusual and is also a common girls name in this country with a different spelling ( My husband isn’t English) and everyone just started calling me by my surname. Even in professional appointments people often get mixed up and call me by that and I never correct them because I prefer it. I do get sick of explaining it’s my surname though and not a second name.

You could always just call your boyfriend by his surname and at least no one will argue that it’s not his name!

That's fine when your son is 3! But not so much when they are 23!

Surely adults can call themselves what they want?!