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Original poster

To think you shouldn’t call your child Alexander if you don’t like the name Alex?

164 replies

Suchsharpteeth · 06/11/2024 20:58

I met my boyfriend who introduced himself to me as Alex. His friends call him Alex, if we go anywhere and book a meal or book a hotel etc he gives the name Alex.

His family call him Zan. When I’m around them if I call him Alex they go crazy. They say he’s never been an Alex and it’s just not his name. I say well that’s what I call him because that’s how he introduced himself and he doesn’t mind that I call him that. His mum gets annoyed when I call him Alex so I have started referring to him as Zan when I am around her just to keep the peace, but sometimes I forget and she goes into a huff saying “it’s just not his name, i hate the name, I should’ve called him xander” is it just me or is it daft to call your child Alexander and not expect people to shorten it to Alex?? And if he’s fine with Alex then it’s not really her business?!

OP posts:
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Boutonnière · 07/11/2024 19:09

tilypu · 06/11/2024 21:29

I can call you Betty

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🤣🤣

Womblewife · 07/11/2024 19:08

SimpleThings101 · 06/11/2024 21:02

I’d call him Sandy

This.

AndCoronets · 07/11/2024 19:05

Theoldcuriosityshop · 07/11/2024 15:18

This is why I picked a name that can't be shortened.

And then they lengthen it 😆
Speaking from experience, I have a 3 letter name!

Theoldcuriosityshop · 07/11/2024 15:18

This is why I picked a name that can't be shortened.

ohyesido · 07/11/2024 14:35

freddyfluffball · 06/11/2024 21:11

Mine was Ally when he was little, I might try to make that stick again.

Mine was Ally Bally after the Scottish nursery rhyme

ohyesido · 07/11/2024 14:33

My DS is Alex and so is my DF. I call DS Monstrous because he looks like Cato from the Hunger Games

My dad calls himself Zander tho

BambALamb · 07/11/2024 14:32

SnoopysHoose · 07/11/2024 11:27

Jonathan and John are two separate names, would you call Steve Andrew because you prefer it? bloody odd

His full name was Jonathan, I didn’t just make it up! He never complained.

TheFormidableMrsC · 07/11/2024 12:45

SnoopysHoose · 07/11/2024 11:27

Jonathan and John are two separate names, would you call Steve Andrew because you prefer it? bloody odd

I know a Jonathan who is known as Jon to pretty much everybody except his mum who prefers the full version.

TheFormidableMrsC · 07/11/2024 12:43

I do not understand all the ridiculous precious comments on here from people enraged at their child's name being shortened. I choose not to shorten my son's name but his friends call him a couple of variations of it and he is happy with that and prefers it. It's his name, his choice, I wouldn't dream of correcting people on his behalf. I don't own it.

another1bitestheduck · 07/11/2024 11:46

wateringhole88 · 06/11/2024 23:33

Jesus who are you to say what shortened name people should accept? I have an Alexander and he is definitely the full version. It grates me when people call him Alex and no one ever refers to him as such in our family. If your name was Matilda would you think it unreasonable not to want to be called Tilly? Or Ju for Julie? What a load of shite.

did you even read the post that you are responding to? The only person who gets to decide what someone else is called is the person whose name it is, and he clearly prefers Alex. Even if he didn't, the OP's version and the mum's version are BOTH shortened versions! Nobody calls him 'Alexander' and that was never part of the question.

Why go off on a bizarre rant about a completely different circumstance? People might not call your Alexander Alex but I bet they have a few different nicknames for his mother if you get this angry and misinformed on a regular basis...

what a load of shite indeed (your comment)

ProvincialLady24 · 07/11/2024 11:41

It's his name. He needs to tell his mother that he actually doesn't mind Alex and actually prefers it to Xan.

XxSideshowAuntSallyx · 07/11/2024 11:29

I kind of see it from her point of view, to them he isn't Alex, he's Zan. What he calls himself elsewhere doesn't matter.

My brother's name gets shortened everywhere (work, his wife, friends etc) apart from at home. Calling him his shortened name feels odd as we've never called him it.

I have a nickname that my family and close friends calls me. But If people shortened my name to what a lot of people go by my mum would rightly say that's not my name because it isn't. I actually put up with people shortening my name but I hate it (only my grandpa got away with it,and my boss does too), I'd rather be known by my nickname if anything.

SnoopysHoose · 07/11/2024 11:27

Jonathan and John are two separate names, would you call Steve Andrew because you prefer it? bloody odd

SnoopysHoose · 07/11/2024 11:26

@AmateurDad
Sandy is contained in the name, is you use xandy part it's easily becomes Sandy, probably the most commonly used shortened version in men probably over 40.
Because you're not familiar doesn't mean it isn't a thing!

xILikeJamx · 07/11/2024 11:21

Go full Scottish and call him Alec

AmateurDad · 07/11/2024 11:18

SnoopysHoose · 07/11/2024 09:01

@fanaticalfairy
Clearly that pp only thinks life exists in their bubble in England somewhere and no other names outwith their knowledge exist 🤷🏼‍♀️
In Scotland, Alex/Alec , Sandy, Xander are all commonplace.

Yes, in Scotland. I was referring, as stated, to England. In any event Sandy doesn't properly derive from Alexander because the word is not contained within that name.

AmateurDad · 07/11/2024 11:16

fanaticalfairy · 07/11/2024 08:02

Zander/Xander is a name...

people use Alec...

Sandy is used too... https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/profiles/5q8bq2zjZ03LgbBRqjdvlJ7/steven-robertson

Do you live under a rock or something??

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Shetland is in Scotland... 🙄

SereneFish · 07/11/2024 09:18

BambALamb · 06/11/2024 22:17

It’s different because your partner told you to call him Alex but I can see why his mum isn’t happy with the change. However, I have dated a man in the past who told me his name was John/everyone called him John and I said I preferred Jonathan so that’s what I called him.

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You're really odd

mamajong · 07/11/2024 09:12

I have friends who's kids have popular names that can be shortened and as kids they insisted everyone use the full names. However now they are both adults they use the short versions, the mum HATES it but accepts they are adults and can call themselves what they want. Equally I have a friend who gave their DC one syllable names so they couldn't be shortened...and everyone just lengthens them (think Anne, being called Annie). His Mum cannot dictate what he is known as, but he needs to be the one having that conversation with her!

TheWayTheLightFalls · 07/11/2024 09:11

I think if you have an Alexander you can start with whatever nn you want but need to live with the fact that it may default to Alex at some point.

In our social circle we have an Al, a Sandy, a Sasha (E/Europe), an Alexaaaahnder, and one (female) Zanne.

FloofPaws · 07/11/2024 09:02

His mum needs to realise it's his choice what he calls himself, by all
Means she can have that as his nickname - I do this with my son, I call him Camy but he says I can only use it at home, hes Cameron with his friends and we abide by that ... can't your mum just have it as his special mum name?!

SnoopysHoose · 07/11/2024 09:01

@fanaticalfairy
Clearly that pp only thinks life exists in their bubble in England somewhere and no other names outwith their knowledge exist 🤷🏼‍♀️
In Scotland, Alex/Alec , Sandy, Xander are all commonplace.

user1484745101 · 07/11/2024 08:54

Suchsharpteeth · 06/11/2024 21:20

Also it’s not just his mum, it’s his whole family. Every single member of his family calls him zan. He only started going by Alex at college

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They can call him Zan and you can call him Alex.

IrisApfel · 07/11/2024 08:51

DH introduced himself as Andy to me he is Andy at work too. His Mum only ever calls him Andrew and pronounces it AndROOOO to hammer home her point.

user1484745101 · 07/11/2024 08:51

Dontlletmedownbruce · 07/11/2024 08:20

I have an Alex. I contemplated calling him Alexander to shorten it but what's the point then, I didn't like Alexander.

In contrast I know an Alexander child and always call him his full name as that's what his parents call him. It's disrespectful to shorten someone's name unless they do it themselves.

I don't agree that you should presume a name will be shortened. Your child's name is the name you give them. However I also don't think its worth getting upset about when others find a nickname and you can't control that.

In this scenario son introduces himself as Alex, so no disrespect. And there is a difference between a random child and your partner.