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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask if your life changed in an exciting or good way after 45?

115 replies

Teeeppp · 06/11/2024 20:15

Just that really. I’m stagnant. I’m lonely. My good years feel gone. Single parent to an 11 year old and 43 tomorrow. Just don’t really have any hope for the future anymore

OP posts:
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anon12345anon · 06/11/2024 20:56

Op, I know exactly what you mean, I sometimes feel like you (around the same age) x
No advice - but I love the bucket list idea!

Happy birthday 🥳!

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 06/11/2024 20:51

I’ve just started my teacher training at 48. And there’s several people on the course who are older than me.

WickedlyCharmed · 06/11/2024 20:50

I’ve found it’s more about your DC’s age than your own.

I’m 46 with one adult DC and pretty happy with life. Things started getting much easier when he hit about age 15.

Sandwichgen · 06/11/2024 20:49

I had a baby

both good and bad!

Singleandproud · 06/11/2024 20:46

I'm not there yet age wise but think it depends more on your child's age. DDs start to High School to 13 was rough she needed me more emotionally than previously. She's 15 now, back to her robust independent self, I have evenings to do as I please as she can be left alone or has her own plans etc so my life is alot more interesting than when she was 11. We can see grown up theatre and cinema together, go to grown up restaurants etc. I restrained and started in a new industry when she went to High School as I didn't need childcare in the holidays etc.

LivingInaBuiltSite · 06/11/2024 20:41

I trained into an entirely different field job and returned to the full time workplace at 47. About to start training for a promotion next week. It’s tiring but very rewarding.
Not going to lie and say I’m looking forward to 50 next year though!

My DC are now 18, 16 & 13 and I can definitely start to put myself first some of the time - not meaning to sound like a bad mum, just after nearly 20 years of giving up most things it’s nice to be a priority sometimes.

unsync · 06/11/2024 20:38

Yes.

Magicisuponus · 06/11/2024 20:38

Once dc didn’t need babysitting any more, I refound my freedom, and rediscovered the person I was before I had children. Am really enjoying this phase, as life has just gotten easier. I can walk out the door without issues, don’t have to organise childcare, or anything around their clubs/activities.
It helps to have lots of interests or hobbies to enjoy more time to yourself.

Dearg · 06/11/2024 20:34

You are entering the ‘don’t give a shit’ phase. Happy Birthday for tomorrow. Please get yourself a little treat to enjoy .

Your 11 year old is going to start hitting the angst years, so see if you can find a hobby that lets you meet other mums.
I joined a gym. If you have time, Pilates is having a moment. But also , look at walking clubs, book clubs, etc

Try to make some time for you, no matter how little.

LaurieFairyCake · 06/11/2024 20:31

God yes. Once the last kid went to uni I moved into London. The last 8 years have been by far the best yet.

LeaveALittleNote · 06/11/2024 20:31

Life changes. I think you might gain contentment more than excitement, which is better really. What has helped me is writing a bucket list. I felt as though I had nothing to look forward to, but writing a bucket list made me realise there’s plenty to look forward to!

BlessicaBlimpson · 06/11/2024 20:29

I found it got better once children were more independent and I then had time to enjoy my own hobbies.

ThirtyfourBees · 06/11/2024 20:26

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coffeestains · 06/11/2024 20:25

Yes I agree - I'm 48 and I feel much happier and confident than I have ever done. I'm looking forward to hitting 50!

GOODCAT · 06/11/2024 20:19

It definitely gets better. You gain confidence and time to try new things. I am early 50s and it is better than early 40s for me.