To ask if your life changed in an exciting or good way after 45?

I got a promotion with a big pay rise and am looking forward to continuing to build and advance my career.

I am 46 now and my ds is nearly 14, am married but I don't see being single as being lesser. I am looking forward to lots of fun stuff planned with friends and family and also have events and gigs planned for just me and ds which is another great thing as they get older imo.

I also try and crsm in hobbies and interests I have a full life imo.

Ps. And there have been many hard and dull moments and it’s not like I’m some Duracell bunny now who never feels bored or unhappy.

bring content in life is an ongoing life’s work

Bit what if you do all those things but still feel bored? Meh? But not depressed?

My life transformed between 40 to 50.
but it didn’t transform through me sitting on my backside and feeling sorry about myself - sorry OP!

I set up a business at considerable personal risk, I’ve learnt a language, I’ve learnt to paint, I found a life partner.

none of it happened overnight.

you need to be the change you want to see, identify the goals to pursue, lessons to learn, business to set up, hobby to indulge.

what do you need to stop doing too?

I completely sympathise op , I had a period of feeling like this in my mid forties, I’d always been so upbeat and positive but life felt very “ meh” .

What made a huge difference to me was starting hrt , I started sleeping better & it definitely got my mojo back.
Mid fifties now and life is fab, I did extra training so that a I can work, self employed for less hours, so more free time along with less dependence from the kids. Means more time to do things I love to do, but more importantly I have the motivation to do them ( which I think I lost in what felt like life’s drudge !)

Yes.

We had 3rd child. Not planned. Might not be recommended.

I have taken up volunteer work again. New great friends, a lot of fun, fuss and get together. I really enjoy it.

You need to face the world and make things happen. Don't wait around.

Hmmm. Well. Post 45 what have i done. Paid off the mortgage. That's a big plus. Gone from 4 dependent kids to one. Another plus.

Financially things have eased up a lot.

Got a puppy when i was 46 and then a second one when i was 50 and that took my life down a different path dabbling in competitive dog sports. Met a whole load of new folks through my dogs and know all sorts of things about working with dogs that i never knew before.

Now late 50s. Yes, i would say post 45 has been all right for me actually. And my health has stayed good so no complaints.

Yep, l was a single mum to two kids, youngest went to uni when l was 48, then accidentally met someone, now married at 58 , kids all independent, life so much better in every aspect.

Have to be the voice of dissent and say not yet...

Now late 40s. Had dc quite late so they are still Primary school age and need me a lot still (no complaints, I love being a mum, but time is squeezed), elderly parents are ailing and need support, work is okay but full on, I am perimenopausal and exhausted. Relationship with dh is also more rocky - both hitting mid life angst but want different things.

So life is still good in lots of ways, but I don't see lots to look forward to. The idea of dm dying and dc growing up really scares me.

Absolutely 💯 makes sense!

Inspiring thread. Thank you.

Thank you. I worked freelance for the travel company. The title was Tour Manager then changed to Holiday Director. Met all the clients on a group tour at the airport in London, travelled with them and spent all my time with them for 8 days..meals, trips, socialising. Sorted out issues and made sure everyone was happy. Then travelled back with them. It's not the same as being a resort rep. Had some challenging times, eg theft, injury, complaints, flight delays, lost passports but overall it was a great job and it meant I travelled a lot when I had no money and at the time most of my friends were married and I was divorced. My forties and fifties were pretty grim so I am making up for that now...as someone else said you have to go out and make things happen and it's a lot easier when your children are older. Good luck to anyone who is struggling with life...things won't always stay the same ❤️

@Azuresky68 Your life sounds amazing! Especially the job with the travel company, would love to do that in the future, what was your role?

I do martial arts, yoga, run, am writing a book, have a job I should be estactic to have. I should be content I'm bored. I feel like I'm tredding water waiting.

46. DD 12.

Oh yes! I was really sad for much of my 30s and early 40s as never found the right man and had wanted kids. I met my now husband a few years back aged 47 and life is absolutely transformed. Some big challenges along side - elderly parents, work is hard, and wouldn’t want to have kids (by any means) now, not got the energy, so there will always be some sadness I missed that chance, but my god I am loving life in my 50s. In fact it probably all changed in my mid 40s when I decided to up sticks and move town on a whim, which started a whole new adventure

I think if you really want things to change or be more exciting you can't passively sit there just waiting for it to happen, you have to be the change if that makes sense?

Yes, I was just thinking about this the other day - my life definitely changed / improved once I got to my mid-40s. I think before that I was knee deep in having small children and did very little other than work or take care of the kids.

In the last five years I've tried a number of new things and I'm in the middle of changing careers and feel that I know myself, and what I enjoy, much better than I ever did when I was in my 30s. Back then I did a lot of things because I thought I should. Or didn't do things because no-one else was doing them.

My advice would be, just find one NEW thing to have a go at - it could be a new sport, learning a language, an art class, a choir, go to the theatre, maybe even something that's outside of your comfort zone. And see where it takes you.

Oh yes.
So many things.
Declared Cancer free.
DC got to an age when I could go out and leave them for a while without needing a sitter
(Clearly linked to that) Reconnected with friends it had been difficult to find time to spend together whilst dc were little
Made some new friends
Paid off mortgage - which freed up money every month
Took up a hobby I'd stepped back from when dc were small
Some holidays I'd not done before.
Then you get into the stage when dc are becoming witty, capable adults in lots of different ways and it's great to see all the hard work from the early years coming to fruition.
It just gets better and better.

A fair few of my friends’ marriages are ending in their 40s and I think there will be a growing trend of single people with older children that are ready to find new friends and partners. Life might look a bit grey right now, but if you explore new opportunities, you might find you get a whole new life to love.

OP, my 45 yo sister was ditched by her husband for a much younger woman around six years ago. Had a long period of just getting on for her kids and then, out of nowhere, had the most badass 2024. She got an incredible job, was accepted on a prestigious creative writing course and has been dating many hot and interesting men. She honestly thought life was going to be an utter drag but she's living the dream just now. Luck can turn. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY X

Amazing post. Congrats on all your achievements x

My friend had 2 babies!

@Teeeppp

Honestly 43 is no age now. Your child is 11, they will be more or less an adult when you are 50.

You could have another 30 or 40 years left. Don't waste them
All the best things in my life happened over the age of 40. At 45 I stumbled into my dream job. At 47 I adopted my son and found a whole new community of friends.
My son is 20 now, we have a fantastic relationship, still do things together and it's the best feeling to see him happy and building his own life. We have had many adventures along the way.
At the risk of sounding middle aged and boring, I got an allotment at 50 and it really is my happy place.
At 58 I left a rather boring job and have become a foster carer. It's hard work but it's rewarding.
At nearly 60 I live in a bog standard Victorian terrace, nothing flashy but it's our home and I love it.
Why do you think there is nothing to look forward to?

Honestly i have friends who have died in their early 40s - they had only really started getting into the swing of life. It is so young. Whenever I miss my 20s I remind myself that becoming middle aged and then old is a privilege.

My best years started at 58, and I had very little money at the time. I am 68 now and love my life! At 58, I was made redundant, so I went to Seville, Spain for 3 months to qualify in teaching English. Other adventures - I joined a choir, worked at music festivals, including Glastonbury, started wild swimming before it got so popular, currently work at the theatre, and get to see all the touring West End shows for free. I got a job at 60 with an up market travel company and travelled all over Europe and only recently retired. I have a lovely man in my life, we met 4 years ago. We both have our own homes, but we spend lots of time together and go on holiday as much as possible. We have both worked really hard all our lives and are both good with money, so it stretches a long way. I am meeting him for a lunch date tomorrow ❤️ Happy days.. you only live once!