To ask if your life changed in an exciting or good way after 45?

Yes. Turning 50 marked the start of the best time of my life so far. Responsibility shrank as DC became independent. Work has got easier and better paid as I've gained experience. I have more time and money and freedom than I've ever had. After years of hard graft I'm using this to prioritise pleasure, fun and seeing a bit of the world, having a few new experiences, and enjoying family and friendships, so I'm not exactly forging ahead with sweeping changes, so perhaps 'stagnant' from choice. However I still feel fit, energetic and confident so I know if I did want to achieve something I could. My best time (so far!) is undoubtedly now.

Agreed.
The suburbs are lovely for raising children, but my God the place would age you dramatically if you stuck around long term. Genuinely couldn't think of many worse ways to spend my child free years lol
Love being back in Zone 1. With the benefit of being older / more established so have a place out in the sticks as well for a regular nature refresh.

I'm 54 and life is better than it was in my 40s - a better job, better financial position due to a couple of totally random events, more independence due to kids being older and therefore new adventures with DH. I've got a rediscovered lust for life based on wanting to make the most of my time and energy.

Absolutely there is life after 45. At 46 I met the most amazing man and we are getting married next year when I will be 49. My kids are teenagers / young adults and becoming much more independent. We're full of plans for the future and I'm debating doing a masters soon which has always been a goal I haven't achieved and maybe change direction totally.

My mum has always inspired me. She did many different things including getting a degree at 40.

Got married at 48, unexpected change in career from age 51 (hobby turned into career). Lost 3 stones, improved my health, became much less of a push-over and people pleaser. Dealt so much better with the inevitable challenges.

My life transformed in my 40s.

At 42, I bought a house (after years living abroad).
At 47, I had twins (after years of IVF)
At 46, my career and salary skyrocketed, through great luck

Now I'm 52 and work full-time, kids doing well, and financially set-up for life. I've no time for me/hobbies, but I had plenty of time for that in my 20s/30s/early 40s. Also lucky enough to have my healthy 95-year old parents, who live independently 5 mins from me.

I'd advise you to focus on what would inspire or excite you - e.g. go for a promotion / retrain / take up a new hobby / travel / study / gym / etc

I quit teaching at 45 after 20+ years, re-training as an electrician specialising in commercial installations, work 11 to 4.00 , 4 days a week and make more money and being self employed control my time myself.

46 left emotionally and financially abusive ex. Got amazing high-paid full-time job in a field I love, working with great people.
47 took my kids on their first overseas holiday.
48 met a lovely new man who treats me like a queen.

Plenty more to come too, I expect. Planning to do my Masters in the next couple of years.

Yes - at 55 I started training as a counsellor and am now working. It's the best thing I've ever done and I wish I'd done it at 45.

Yes
Got divorced after 25 years
Managed to buy my own house and progress career with sole custody of 2 DC at home still. Wasn't easy but we made some great memories.
Met now DH on line dating.
We've been together 8 years and have never ever been so happy. Feel so so lucky every day. My life got so much better but to be fair I was happy single and that's a good place to be iykwim.

i went to Uni at 40, teacher training at 43 and had a senior post from 50. \i'm now retired and loved my last years in the workplace - I retired at 66

Absolutely agree with this. Find something you want to do, maybe just once a week and start to include it in your life. Talking to other people can be great as they may change your perspective/have a different view.

Oh OP, I really feel for you. Yes, it truly does get better, although I too wouldn't have believed that in my 40s. I was rock bottom, newly divorced with two young teenagers, desperately poor, thought I couldn't go on. Everything was a struggle and there were times when I wished I wasn't on this earth at all.

Honestly, teenagers grow up. While you're going through it, it feels like you have children forever, but amazingly they grow up, become independent, you worry less about them, they get part-time jobs, then leave home/go to Uni or whatever.

You become freer than you've ever been. You have more experience workwise so manage to change jobs, you start to meet new people and make friends you didn't have when you were married, and those friends become supportive and good fun. You might even have other romantic relationships, you can't imagine that now but it will happen if you want it.

Eventually I got a job which really paid a decent wage and (at the time) also gave me accommodation. I made a move across the country, gained new skills, started to do things like travelling as I had the freedom and salary to do that. I would never, ever in my lowest days have thought I could do so much, see so much or learn so much.

I am in my 60s now, my life has had many twists and turns since my 40s and I have lived, and worked in various parts of the country and abroad. I am happy and content both with my age, stage and position in life, I have good memories and a supportive friendship circle and lots of things that I still want to do.

I don't want this post to sound self congratulatory - I do apologise if it comes across that way - I just want to reassure you that things really do get better. I have told you the things I'd liked to have told my past self if I could have gone back in time....honestly, hold on in there, believe in yourself, keep going and you will be fine. Life will get better, truly, it really will.

Yes! Since 45 I've take up running, my kids are now teens so I have much more time and independence and I'm about to return to work. I'm not sure if that will be good or bad, but I feel ready for a new chapter. I'm 50.

As I get older I admire my granny and her older years. She was left by my grandad in her 50s (he had an affair and moved abroad). She has very little and had to start over again but my god she threw herself into life. She had a very full social life and had so many friends into her 80s. By all accounts him leaving was the making of her really.

The intense child-rearing years are so very intense I think a lot of women lose a bit of themselves.

I qualified in a new career at 46, met my dh at 47. This was after a horrid divorce with 2 young children. I discovered I loved hiking in mountains and became far more accepting of myself than I was in my 20s. Life isn’t over! Think about what would really give your life meaning.

Listen, it's only "over" if you think it is. Whether you think you can or you cant, you're right.

I started a business in my early 40s and now employ 40 people. I couldnt have done that if I thought everything was over and gone. This is 100% about your mindset.

Set a goal to change your mindset and I guarantee you, you'll be pleasantly shocked at the results

This mine are 18 & 20. Just trying to tell DH I don't need to know what is for dinner every night.

I am mindful of this too.

I'm nearly 60 and for me the best years were the child rearing years.

Since I was 55 it has all been about work and taking increasing responsibility for aging PIL (probably my parents too soon). So swapped looking after DC for looking after PIL!

My PIL said that they had their best years post 60 when they retired and spent months on end travelling around Europe in a motor home.

We don't have their pensions unfortunately but maybe things will improve for us when we eventually retire.

It seems like the worst years are 55-65 then things will hopefully improve again.

I met my DH at 45 after 2 failed marriages. It was the best thing ever to happen to me.

This is exactly right. When you are young you are on a conveyor belt of exciting thing - university, new career, now cities, now relationships, buying a house, getting married, having kids. Obviously many of us skip a few of these but there is always something new and promising on the horizon, and it happens automatically. Whether some of these events actually fulfill their promise is a different matter, and it is worth thinking about that now that you are more free to think "What do I actually enjoy?".

At 43 you can make new friends, find a relationship, change career, move to a place you like better (or back where your family lives), get healthy, travel etc, but you have to decide to do it, and then do it. It doesn't happen automatically.

Sounds idyllic. Love this

Enjoy your 40’s because 50’s is crap

After 41 my life finally got better. I had dd and bought a house so escaped the rent trap that had us moving every 6 months. I've got so many friends now. I spend my 30s lonely mainly as we were moving so much. I love my 40s! Best years so far! Can't wait to see what the 50s bring in a few years. Embrace your 40s op. You say you are lonely can you join a reading group, go to a community college and do a course, go to the gym.... Good luck op x