AIBU to think you can't say anything anymore incase you offend someone?

"And when did you last see your father?"

That’s just throwing your toys out of the pram.

Just ask if they did anything nice over half term. And similar non taxing questions

I am massively disappointed that you didn’t ask some random stranger something genuinely offensive and it was just trying to get a teen to interact on an incredibly non offensive low level.

Poor child probably wondered what on earth you were going on about.

Being a full time working parent while raising children gets a bit old.
It is what it is and the kids adapt and are generally fine, but you know what kids are like - "everyone apart from me has an X-Box, "Sam's going skiing at 1/2 term, It's Not Fair" "do I have to go to football camp?"

It's likely that child's parents have done their best to explain why they need to work and why they have to get up and to childcare and your "or does your mum not get the week off like me?" stung.

I'm still getting it now with DS15 - loads of his mate's parents seem to be at home during the day. I'm sure many have taken annual leave, others work shifts etc. He doesn't complain (I'm available ferry him about to a certain extent), but I know he feels the impact of me being a lone parent and working full time.

It's totally shit OP. You can't even rip up £20 notes in front of the homeless anymore, especially now they are made out of that woke plastic shit. It's PC gone mad I tells ya

Yes

So your right to ask what you like is more important than a child's embarrassment? OK.

How bloody nosey! I’d be embarrassed too.

I don't think you were being nosey or too personal, despite most of the very uppity responses to your post. You were just making ordinary polite conversation.
You should have just left it at did you go away, and you sound like you're showing off because you went away? For God's sake.
Maybe everyone should have a prearranged script so nobody is ever offended. Whatever you do, don't think for yourself!

Same. I find "when are you breaking up for Christmas" a bizarre (and fairly ignorant) question.

It usually comes from someone who is unable to understand that people have lives, jobs and experiences that are different from their own. And anyone with a grain of common sense knows that lots of jobs carry on over Xmas and New Year.

Yeah, what a weird thing to say.

Surely "Did you have fun at half term? What did you get up to?" would suffice?

You asked a loaded question. You may have done it accidentally, but it was loaded nonetheless. Even aside from the comment about the mum working, not everyone can afford to go on holiday every half term.

agree, think back to being a child did you want to speak to friends mums? To be honest I find anyone who says „can’t say anything these days“ to usually be quite unaware of what they say . I’d step away from that phrase as I’m sure that’s not you!

Ahhh. This is making me nosatlgic for the late 80s ITS POLITICAL CORECTNESS GONE MAD I TELLS YA. Might dig out my docs and spark up a doobie for the full experience

You did nothing wrong in my view. You were just making conversation you were in no way being offensive. It seems that some people look to take offence but that’s down to them.

Did you have a nice half term is fine but beyond that is odd and nosy. I do think adults who assume everyone is off in school hols are a bit odd though eg adults who ask other adults when are you breaking up for Christmas when they don’t work in a school.

Poor kid probably felt embarrassed he didn't go away like your other mum mates.

You should have just asked if they had a nice half term and left it to them to tell you more or not. Asking about Mum's work sounds wrong.

Sounds a little like the "and where are you going skiing this year?.. oh you don't ski!" (tinkly laugh)

The problem is that as an adult you are in position of power in a way and a kid feels that he has to answer your questions. If he doesn’t want to he doesn’t know how to avoid/escape politely. So your questions should be short simple and inviting (to balance your power), not demanding for details.

Why assume that everyone can afford to go away during half term. Maybe you knew they were skint, maybe not. Still intrusive. Yes kids don't ask their mates anything. My son knows nothing about his mates, even where they live.

I agree with this, your questioning sounds like it strayed beyond simple chatting to pass the time to a bit of a grilling about their mum’s working pattern to be honest.

I wouldn’t worry OP. Everyone in this country has lost their minds. I’ve watched hundreds of people on here call millions of Americans and their democratically elected president every name under the sun today. You were just making conversation.

It does sound like a bit of a grilling for a child you barely know ie a multiple part question not just 'did you gave a nice half term', but they were probably shy and kids are easily embarrassed by their parents. I don't think you need to over analyse it or extrapolate that no one can say anything anymore from it. I wouldn't think anymore of a child being uncommunicative around an adult they don't know well!

Although I will say my kids would have found that a strange question because your phrasing presupposes that if someone is off work they can automatically go away, that working is the only reason they wouldn't have. That's an extremely privileged viewpoint. DH or I will take at least some days off every school holidays but we could certainly not go away 6 times a year! So my kids would have struggled for an answer because it was neither of the options you suggested. No we didn't go away, but also no mum didn't have to work...