Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do I have rights as the mother of children with disabilities

42 replies

CobaltRewind · 06/11/2024 17:56

To be honest I’m in shock.

Need to know if I should see this as a ‘joke’ but struggling to.

Im a teacher and my son attends the same school I teach in, he’s extremely anxious about moving to high school next year. He has multiple additional needs.

I was speaking to my head teacher today about what I’m going to do next year as my son cannot be told to walk home and his anxiety is so severe he’s just not safe to be home alone.

Basically I need some sort of flexibility in my job as I’m a single parent and really have no other support.

She told me my options were to get another job or have my children adopted.😢😕

Im not sure in what context this is supposed to be funny.

If I made a similar comment to a parent, I’d likely lose my job.

AIBU to be really hurt.

OP posts:
Lifeglowup · 06/11/2024 18:25

If the school library avaliable for children avaliable for your son to go until you finish school.

What do you currently do on staff meeting nights and parents evening?

Catza · 06/11/2024 18:22

Bearpawk · 06/11/2024 18:01

Yes you have rights and his response was appalling. I would email HR and record it immediately. They will ask if you'd like to make an official complaint.
You have the right to make a flexible working request as the parent of a child with disabilities it's a protected characteristic so they should look to make 'reasonable adjustments' within business needs. These reasonable adjustments don't have to be paid however (I.e working part time hours)
Are you in a union? I would call them
ASAP.

Disability is a protected characteristics but the OP is not disabled, so this doesn't apply. Yes, she can request flexi but, if school cannot accommodate for legitimate operational reasons then the OP really doesn't have much choice but to look for an alternative employment.

Autumn38 · 06/11/2024 18:20

I would think you could either look to go part time or employ someone to pick your child up from school and take them home?

Bobbybobbins · 06/11/2024 18:17

I am a teacher with two disabled children. I work part time now and one day I finish early and start late as a concession (I also don't work two days a week). There is a law that says if you are an unpaid carer to a disabled adult or child then your employer must consider this BUT there is no legal requirement to make an adjustment.

Cheshireicecream · 06/11/2024 18:16

get them adopted? seriously, I would report this to HR. completely unacceptable.

as for right, you can make a flexible working request but the employer can refuse on business needs. Can you change jobs to a more flexible role elsewhere? both of mine have complex needs and I can only manage a few hours per day in a WFH role. It's really difficult esp without support.

Mrsttcno1 · 06/11/2024 18:16

Obviously the comment is a very bad joke, and shouldn’t have been said.

However that said if they can’t accommodate what you want then you would have to look for another job.

Original poster
CobaltRewind · 06/11/2024 18:14

CobaltRewind · 06/11/2024 18:11

2pm

Show quote history

Sadly not, after 20 years of staff children being allowed on the premises after they moved to high school, while they settled , a ‘new rule’ has come out saying that ex pupils including staff children cannot be on the premises.

OP posts:
mistyautumnmorning · 06/11/2024 18:13

It can be done but I can see it might be hard to accommodate in primary schools. I start an hour later and finish an hour later to do school pick ups and drop offs but I am part time.

JurassicPark4Eva · 06/11/2024 18:11

We used to go to my Dad at his primary school and knock about there until he was ready to leave. Can your son do this? Does he get DLA? Use it towards someone picking him up and dropping him to you each day?

Original poster
CobaltRewind · 06/11/2024 18:11

Smleps · 06/11/2024 18:07

It’s is a shame, but finishing off for the day is part of your job, I reckon. Could your child get to your school once they’ve finished? Or would that be too challenging?

Edited

2pm

OP posts:
Overthebow · 06/11/2024 18:11

If you left at 3 would you be there for kids handovers or for parents to have a word after school? When would you do the rest of your hours? I can see why leaving early may not be compatible with being a teacher but if you could come up with solutions then you may stand a better chance.

Smleps · 06/11/2024 18:07

It’s is a shame, but finishing off for the day is part of your job, I reckon. Could your child get to your school once they’ve finished? Or would that be too challenging?

AgainandagainandagainSS · 06/11/2024 18:05

The response was flippant - you can hardly advertise the kids on Ebay.
However they are not obliged legally to accommodate this. Your circumstances are not their business. You are there to work between X o clock and Y o clock as far as they are concerned, not thinking about your kids.

MumOfOneAllAlone · 06/11/2024 18:03

What a dick response!

Original poster
CobaltRewind · 06/11/2024 18:03

I teach primary and would request to finish at 3 when the children go home, it is feasible if they wanted to accommodate it.

OP posts:
Bearpawk · 06/11/2024 18:01

Yes you have rights and his response was appalling. I would email HR and record it immediately. They will ask if you'd like to make an official complaint.
You have the right to make a flexible working request as the parent of a child with disabilities it's a protected characteristic so they should look to make 'reasonable adjustments' within business needs. These reasonable adjustments don't have to be paid however (I.e working part time hours)
Are you in a union? I would call them
ASAP.

ExtraOnions · 06/11/2024 18:01

You have a right to request flexibility, and they can reject it based on business need. If you are working in a school, I would imagine that the flexibility you need is within the school day. How would they cover the time you would need to take off ?

Swipe left for the next trending thread