Job annoyance - AIBU?

I completely understand your disappointment.

It's clear they value your contribution and are trying to somehow compensate you for not getting the job.

I hate when existing employees are overlooked for opportunities in favour of external candidates.

Maybe to get the development you need it is the right time to move on.

Jumping on your thread here op, seems like you have been given some solid advice. In my role no new hires have been taken on and I have been dumped with extra work from another department which was shut down to save money. It's a lot of work. And no matter how calmly and professionally you try to explain this you are simply not listened to. I feel I have to leave as it has been badly affecting my confidence and mental health. I'm so angry. I feel utterly powerless and cheated.

As an hr person, I suspect they see you as being interested in this area/field, as wanting to develop your CV to be able to move into it longer term and ad being someone they want to ensure gets development. They will see this as supporting you to hit all those buttons. Yes, they should have been more empathetic of course, but it's a positive!
I know you're disappointed but it's lovely feedback, and it's great you've a chance to strengthen your CV on the working group (honestly, these additional activities are worth gold, much more impressive than a training course, for example). Build your experience and learn from the feedback and next time I'm sure you'll be successful either in your current company or an external one.

I'd reply something like,

'Hi Lesley, I was obviously very disappointed not to get xxx role so I am delighted to have the opportunity to join the new working group and further develop my skills and experience in this important field. I would be very grateful if this could be part of my development plan and one of my KPIs for the forthcoming year, instead of (ditch least preferred KPI). I'd appreciate a meeting to chat about it.

Look elsewhere, I've been in this position and it's very frustrating. Look after yourself first and if you want a new job it sounds like you need to go somewhere else.

RawBloomers, I think you're right and praise doesn't pay the bills does it.

Be professional, get the development but do not help the new hire.

I also think that they telling you they were impressed and want you to join the working group IS acknowledging your disappointment. But in a way appropriate to you being an adult and it being a workplace.

This is good advice.

It might sting but it’s just business.

In a similar position, I did what I’m advised, left the organisation on good terms, and have now come back after two years in the job I had wanted after getting some good experience.

I echo this, it's sound advice.

It's hard not to be hurt when you miss out on an opportunity like this. Definitely don't respond while hurt. Try and remain positive and take what is good feedback.

I'd check out what the new person is like and if you think that they actually were a better choice for the role. I'd also take the time to subtly show management they perhaps should have chosen you by really jumping into everything but only for a limited period.

At the same, as long as it's an appropriate timing and there aren't likely to be more better paid roles coming up where you are, start actively looking at external roles. Then, as appropriate, in a couple of months bring this up with your manager and see if they have progression opportunities in mind for you.

It sounds to me like they are trying to ensure you don’t leave by heaping praise on you. Probably think you’ll be tickled to be on the working group. They quite possibly really wanted an external candidate but need you to train them up so are trying to make you feel appreciated despite not giving you the job.

PPs are right about staying professional and not burning bridges because of resentment. The new hire may not work out and you could get shooed-in, or they may be a bit of a superstar who you can learn a lot from if you play your cards right. It’s also worth asking your manager what the options for increasing your responsibility and pay are since they all thought so highly of you. But when you’ve been turned down for a promotion, it’s always a good idea to start looking for another job and see what your options are outside your current company. A job offer could encourage your company to promote you. And in most lines of work, moving companies is a better way of improving your career trajectory than staying put.

A lot of good advice on here about remaining professional and seeing this as an opportunity to make yourself better qualified for the next time something new comes up.

if being a member of the group is a significant permanent deviation from your job description and current level of seniority I’d bring up the question of salary/recognition, but only once you’ve proved yourself and shown you’re of value. This could be months down the line. In most careers you need to show/do before you can officially step up. I really wouldn’t ask up front.

Also being a professional environment i wouldn’t want another manager assuming to know my feelings (acknowledging the disappointment) - of course I would be disappointed but that’s for me to own and I wouldn’t want those around me to call it out or tell me how they think I might be feeling. I’d prefer that was left at the door so I could retain a professional image (unless of course I felt the need to get things off my chest, then I’d seek out the right person eg my own manager or a trusted mentor to discuss it with)

I may be cynical but I feel like the promotion was not yours as they probably had you earmarked for this project as they knew you are competent.

I'd start looking externally, I don't see what beneft being on the working group will bring if you only narrowly didn't get the job anyway. I've seen really talented people overlooked for promotion because recruiters take advantage of knowing they won't leave if they don't get it

I’ve been in a similar position. They also wanted me to train the person in the skill they said I didn’t have in my interview feedback. I was very professional about it all but left as soon as I found something else.

There was one job. Unfortunately, only one person can get it.
The fact they’re talking about how good you are and now want you involved is a positive. They want to develop your career. Being involved in the working party will give you experience to use next time a job comes up that could give you the edge over the other person. You’ve clearly been selected for your strengths and this is an opportunity to really show them off.

Hide your disappoitmntment, play the long game and squeeze this opportunity for all it is worth for the benefit of your cv.

Be helpful. Join the working group. Remain professional.

But look for another job.

I didn't get a promotion outsider offered the job, though I was the 'close second'. Boss asked me if when the new bloke arrived would I help him settle in and show him the ropes. I said I would. A week later he gave back word and I was offered the job. I think if I'd thrown my teddy out of the pram
( I was tempted) they wouldn't have offered me the promotion and readvertised.

I’d sleep on it, but I’d accept the invitation to be on the working group, replying that you feel valued to be asked and hope it opens up pathways for future progression.

Well why dont you just commandeer the instigator and enquire about the exact work of the working group and all the details etc. will the group have a new name?????? Who are the other people in the group.

Looking externally at what is out there can be empowering.
Be wary of being asked to train this new person.
My friend being turned down for an internal promotion and being asked to work closely with the male that got it, coincided with an inheritance from her godmother.

She feels it was fortuitous and cheerfully resigned. She had holidays to take and chose not to extend her leaving period to accommodate them.

They are rightly screwed temporarily as there is not going to be any cross over and the client is not happy with her employer.

She was very good at her job and she has now been told they feel not promoting her was a big mistake and will she reconsider.
She has been told they never expected her to resign.

She has been very firm that she is going to take a break and job hunt in a few months.
They have asked that she allow them to talk to her before she agrees to sign elsewhere.

Remain professional but look around.
If it is a lot of extra work it sounds to me as if they know exactly how good you, are going to exploit that, and think you will accept it.

Sometimes you have to move to be recognised.

Just to add, thinking about the great feedback you've had, I would think of this as your organisation recognising your value and supporting your career development. I've sort of been in a similar situation but as the hiring person. There was a great internal candidate who may well have been able to do the job, but on balance, we couldn't ignore the additional expertise that the external candidate would bring, both to the role and the organisation. We then wanted the internal candidate to be involved in the initiative as it grew and that person eventually was appointed to a newly created role in that team. The conversation amongst the hiring team about the internal candidate was really positive and supportive and we really wanted her to be involved. Had the internal candidate, on being offered this opportunity to be involved, come back with a 'well what's in it for me?', without seeing it as a development opportunity, the enthusiasm for her may well have dissipated. We weren't asking for additional work from her, but providing an opportunity for her growth, which she took with both hands and flourished, putting her on the pathway to a new role and promotion.

I get you're disappointed but if at all possible you need to not let it show at work. If you're really struggling with feeling overlooked, slap the breezy, professional attitude on at work, and start looking for another job. It will help you feel more empowered while the frustration dissipates, whether or not you decide to make the leap.

If it were me, I would go the opposite way and show them a bit of what they've missed out on. Glimmers of brilliance with the working group, show you're a team player etc, while quietly seeing what other options were out there in the job market.