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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect friends to at least send a text?

83 replies

Gramaphone · 06/11/2024 12:00

I live very rurally. Nearest neighbour over half mile away, nearest village about 5 miles. My husband has had to go away for a week, and he has taken my car as it needs some work doing on it whilst he is away. He drives a big white van. I could drive it, but narrow country lanes and limited visibility means I can’t unless an emergency really.
so I am basically housebound. I have plenty of food in, plus the dog and cat.
i need to get to town on Friday so prearranged with one friend for a lift. Other friends all know I am here, on my own. I sent them all invites to pop round for a cuppa any time. After 4 days now Not one has even sent a text asking if I am ok, do I need anything, etc. feeling very isolated- do I call them or should I expect them to get in touch with me?

OP posts:
Lampan · 06/11/2024 12:05

It would honestly never even cross my mind to check in with a friend who was (presumably) fit and well and temporarily alone. I certainly wouldn’t expect it if it was me.

Lanzarotelady · 06/11/2024 12:05

If you aren't capable of driving the van, then you shouldn't really be driving full stop!
You're coming across as very needy

TeachesOfPeaches · 06/11/2024 12:04

You're only on your own for a week, why wouldn't you be okay?

WickedlyCharmed · 06/11/2024 12:04

Are you elderly or unwell?

I don’t understand why you can’t drive the van or why you’re expecting friends to give you lifts and see if you need supplies?

It seems in the face of your OP that your ‘housebound’ status is all in your head.

Lanzarotelady · 06/11/2024 12:03

Needy?

ComtesseDeSpair · 06/11/2024 12:03

Unless you’re disabled and that’s why you’re housebound, I think you’re expecting a bit much of those around you. No, I wouldn’t send “are you okay?” texts to somebody who just didn’t want to drive a van. I face my own limitations every day and sort of expect others to do likewise. You’ve stated that you have plenty of food in and transport arranged for when you do need to go out, your friends are going to assume that you planned ahead like an adult.

rayofsunshine86 · 06/11/2024 12:03

Just get in the van and drive it. You're not really housebound, you just need to suck it up.

Twoshoesnewshoes · 06/11/2024 12:02

I imagine they’d expect you to message if you need anything. Lots of my friends live alone and so I wouldn’t think to check up on an adult unless they were unwell or feeling low etc.

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