Wife wants step children back.

@Gonegirl7 yes that's another point. The more I think about it the less it adds up.

If it's true the oldest child at least must have attachment and trauma issues. Abandoned by Dad at 2/3?
Stepdad at appeared at 4?
Mum Abandoned at 7?

What about both sets of DGPs were they both happy never to see the kids?
In fact all the kids must have some level of trauma.

If it was a woman who was looking after her ex husbands kids I'd be asking the same questions.
Why pay for the questionable tutor?
Why aren't the DGPs involved?
Why aren't SW involved?

Good for you. The comments here have been absolutely disgusting and you are right when you say if it were a woman she would have been praised for how well she held down the fort.

So succinct. Exactly what I was thinking.

so odd for a mother to want 3 children (clearly likes being a mum) and then abandons. Would make more sense if she abandoned only 1 child (who she felt was a mistake to have)

"An independent school is defined as any school at which full-time education is provided for five or more pupils of compulsory school age, or for one or more such pupils with an EHC plan or a statement of special educational needs or who is “looked after” by a local authority, and is not a school maintained by a local authority or a non-maintained special school."

They consider a setting who were open for 18 hours a week to pupils to be classed as full time.

From Independent school registration guide for proprietors.

If there are 6 children there for 20 hours a week, the tutor is running an illegal school and can be prosecuted.

All of it is so weird, two parents to separately abandon their children is unusual.
The tutor or school situation is unusual verging on illegal.

The 3 kids have the same parents so they must have been together a while.
Mum meets a new guy when LO is 1. (3 kids inc a baby and she has time for a new romance).
Yet in less than 3 years they are married, she develops a man and gambling problem and walks out.

No benefits are claimed for these kids and kind grandparents are also prepared to spend a fortune on an education (of who knows what quality) for these 3 kids who aren't their GC.
When a rounded education could be acquired for free.

Sorry it all sounds a bit odd.

My DD hasn’t been seen my a doctor or dentist for at least 6 years.

The doctors is because she’s very fortunate and doesn’t get poorly often and then dentist is because we simply can’t get one (moved home, then no appointments during covid and then the dentist closed down).

It’s very easy to not see a doctor or dentist, they don’t check up on patients.

I don’t know much about home schooling but I’ve heard it’s very easy for kids to stay under the radar.

Good luck to you and those lovely girls tomorrow

Firstly, any idiot can google and see that a step parent does NOT automatically attain parental responsibility and this is given only in specific circumstances, via a court order.

Secondly, @stephen8 are you claiming any benefits related to these children?

Hey OP, this thread might be outing and cause you issues, you've got what you came for so why not ask for it to be removed now.

Can I just say you sound like an amazing.dad and well done for stepping up.amd being tje parent the kids needed. I really hope everything goes well.

He actually said he was ‘leaving it there’ and I don’t blame him.
lots of people are scared of SS and genuinely would not even think to get in touch with them.

Surely if you were married to the mother you gain parental responsibility?

wow is that really what you assume? It just baffles me that you even felt okay to type that out.

Surely as you were married to the mother, as the married step father you do gain some sort of PR.

What?!

And he sought legal advice. Hundreds of posts ago.

🎯

I think that regardless of whether or not people think the OP has 'done a good job', none of it is above board. He could have done the best job in the world, ever, but he is not legally their parent and as such does not have any parental responsibility. Their relationship sounds wonderful, and continuing it is the best way for him and his daughters, but he is skating on thin ice here. I think professing innocence here is not a valid excuse.

I do, however, wish @stephen8 the best of luck! X

Surely children seeing a tutor 6 hours a day for however many days in the school year would - at some point - mention the fact that they no longer see their mother, and exclusively live with their stepfather?
@stephen8 You do sound like a wonderful man/dad, but to think that you've NEVER considered contacting the powers that be is absolutely baffling.

Also, someone said something about children losing their parents, and then living with their grandparents, and how grandparents wouldn't necessarily think to call SS. Again, that is proper barmy. Of course a majority of people would think to contact SS under circumstances like that! Or at the very least would let someone - such as school/tutor - know the circumstances, therefore being pointed in the direction of SS.

I normally would agree that if the OP had been a woman then threads like this would go in a different direction. However, in this case, I doubt it. I think it is absolutely fair to question everything the OP is saying. (Apart from suggesting that he is a pedophile. Man in unusual circumstances does not automatically equal sex offender!!)

And to think, the ex-wife was gambling and drinking away the tuition fees too.

She must have had some lucky wins along the way to pay for everything before your DParents could step up, OP @stephen8?

Unlucky that you can't contribute, isn't it? Does tutoring cost more now than when you were married, or something?

Classic MN. I am absolutely aghast the vitriol you have received here on this thread. Surely as you were married to the mother, as the married step father you do gain some sort of PR. Also you would think there was a case for abandonment, given the way the mother has acted. I do echo others and say it's imperative you seek legal advice. you entered those girls lives when they were very young and they would've known no other father and family but you. If this is real, I'm sure the courts and SS will see this too.

Prove it you can't throw around claims without proof.

He stands a good chance of becoming their legal guardian. They would have been better off with him. He has raised them for 6 years he did the right thing. I suggest you get some work experience in a children's home and you'll understand why. You'll quickly learn what parental trauma can do to a child and how it fuxks them up.

You have literally no idea if children would be better off with him. You are absolutely wrong, he has no status as their legal guardian

You have literally no idea if this is true

Have you reported the thread?