Wife wants step children back.

Good luck tomorrow OP I so hope you get to continue to keep the girls.
I’m totally ashamed at some of the vile posts on here, they say men are abusive, but there are some very nasty minded vindictive women on here who are a disgrace to the human race!

@Fluufer tutors are unregulated. They don't need qualifications or even DBS checks to advertise and work as tutors. When home educating the responsibility for the children education fall to the parents.

I think this is an illegal school. Childminders who care for home Ed kids can't even do the work with them without risking their ofsted reg. but as tutors are unlicensed 🤷‍♀️. However to care for children and be paid for it (which is the case here as tutor has the kids without OP) for more than two hours a day you legally have to be registered with ofsted. This tutor is breaking the law big time

Of course they wouldn't! The way in which the OP has been attacked by many people is typical of the sheer hypocrisy of MN.
Good luck with this, if the children never want to see their 'mother' again then they should not be forced to. Maybe she can start supporting the poor children she abandoned by paying child support, they way in which a man would have to.

If you are a purely a step-parent who has stepped up, your priority should be building a relationship between your wife's children and their mum. Your ex needs help and support and her children need her.

The very best of luck to you OP. I hope you get legal custody. You sound like a great dad.

It would be even more concerning that after 2 years of caring for them 30 hours a week it had never come up that their mother left. Why would 3 little childer never talk about their home life at all?

It would still be private law. They wouldn't have the threshold to apply for care proceedings and it's not their remit to do so if the plan is for them to remain with their current carer. Trust me, the local authority would neither want nor be able to go to court in this case.

I’m thinking this is one of those “different in England” situations. Where I am if the plan was for them to remain with their current carer and there were concerns mum would disrupt this, and that she posed a risk to the children if she did claim them, we would bring the case to a children’s hearing to secure the current living arrangements. The threshold would be met by the mum threatening disruption while also presenting as drunk.

This has so many red flags. I hope this isn't genuine.

OP says that the home schooling is ongoing from their marriage. That being the case why would the tutor even be aware that anything was different ?

Of course it a tutors concern that children have been abandoned in the care of an unrelated person. Alarming that you would think it isn't.

They are very lucky to have you in their lives @stephen8 . If you can get everything on a legal footing, it’ll be so much better, because if your wife is still calling you drunk, she’s clearly not over her addiction and they need a stable guardian.

Even simple things like doctor’s and dentist’s visits will be easier as you'll be able to give consent for treatment. Right now, I don’t think that you could.

Why would you expect the tutor to ask or care whether the step father has PR for the children? How is that their concern?

Even if the family were unaware of the law, doesn't it concern you at all the tutor is too? Shouldn't an adult in sole charge of other people's kids 30 hours a week have at least some awareness and have raised it at least with OP if not ss?

It would still be private law. They wouldn't have the threshold to apply for care proceedings and it's not their remit to do so if the plan is for them to remain with their current carer. Trust me, the local authority would neither want nor be able to go to court in this case.

Would you ask this if it was the step-mother carrying for the children?

It is my job to asses the situation based on the information at hand, following visits if there were any genuine red flags I would do the needful! I am not one of those Social workers that goes in assuming the worse and leading with my own preconceived notions.
Home schooling is not a new phenomenon so that is not a red flag, neither is carers not knowing that situations like this should be reported to social services.
do you think you average Grandma who has taken in their grandchild for whatever reason need to notify social services after 40 days?!
I am more concerned that a mother who you claim “story may be different” has not reported being denied access to her children by the many agencies that can assist.
There are several children whose parent pass away and they naturally go live with an aunty or grandmother and social services are unaware. Ask your self how many times you are asked for your child’s birth certificate by a school, GP appointment or A&E for example?

in many cases the law is there in theory but most people are unaware of it and the systems that should enforce it do not.

Good luck tomorrow. Wishing you all the best. Ignore the weirdos on this site.

Good luck to you mate, you've obviously stepped up and are a fantastic dad, I sincerely hope and pray you get to keep your girls, please keep us updated!

@stephen8 OP please let us know how things go in court tomorrow. i am pretty sure it will all be in your favour.

I think the serious safeguarding issue is the mum attempting to take the children

Did you write this on an open chat forum, including mentioning your name, to use as
”evidence” what a great father you are and what a crap mother your wife is.

Why are you still married to her after 3 years?
I hope I am wrong, but I am sceptical.

Good luck to you and the girls, @stephen8. I've not read all the responses but I have read all of yours and I'm stunned at the level of vitriol you have received. Wishing you all the best for the future, it's blatantly clear to me that you've stepped up to become the only reliable parent the girls have, and that you genuinely love and care for them. I'm astounded that so many others are railing against you and can't see that. Best of luck to you all.

What sort of hearing is it tomorrow? Hoping it goes well for you.

This is absolutely not a serious safeguarding issue! Just being in the care of their stepfather does not in any way represent an urgent safety concern. Trust me!

Social services won't be asking for any order (or wouldn't, if this was real) it's private law. He would need to apply for an order.

If social services are saying the kids can stay with him and their mum presents an immediate risk to the children then they can and may apply for an order. They can’t say the kids can stay there without one given he doesn’t have parental rights. Mind you getting a social worker out to speak to the kids and tutor in the space of a couple of hours, and them saying the kids can stay there purely on the basis of that visit is definitely in the realms of fiction.