Wife wants step children back.

I know this is an old post but it popped into my head recently. Would love to know the outcome OP

My heart is breaking for you reading your post and all those hateful comments! I admire what you have done, and the strength it has taken you. How did it go in court? Did you get to keep the girls? I hope from the bottom of my heart that you did. Stay strong and be there for the girls like you have always been.

Here is hoping that OP & the children just had a lovely Xmas dinner together.

@SoMuchBadAdvice I reported it to MNHQ at the time, so they're aware.
Pretty sure there's no link between the two.

Is there any connection between the 2 websites? BoredPanda have just copied the entire IP with no attempt to link back or claim fair use. It's either outrageous breach of copyright, or the 2 websites have some agreement.

He's the only dad those children have. The only responsible parent even and lots of stepchildren choose to call their step-parents mum or dad - their choice.

Did she show up?

I would love you to post an update on this, I'm desperate to know that everything worked out and you have the girls in your continued care. You sound like an absolutely wonderful father who was dealt a bad hand in partner but have gotten through for the sake of your girls.

@GrandmaHere2019
Very good of you to write that post. But unfortunately the Ops position just isn't that clear.
He appears to have zero evidence that he has looked after these children alone for 2 and half years.
They aren't in an official school, SW don't know, he hasn't claimed benefits.

Unless he actually has some sort of evidence the mum could easily say he threw her out and wouldn't let him access the kids.

This thread has been picked up by BoredPanda.
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Hi Stephen,

I joined this group just to comment on this thread. You have a chance to get these children but it won’t be easy.

1. I don’t recommend getting ss involved. They are unpredictable.
2. Work with your lawyer to get emergency guardianship. 99.9% of judges will give this to you because you already have them. The other thing in your favor is it’s the middle of the school year.
3. once that’s established you can start to build your case. You will have from now until the start of the school year to present a very strong case.
4. get the kids in with a counselor. Tell the court you put them in counseling to help with the transition to mom. This will help you because it will show the court you are working with them and will show your commitment to the children. It also helps build your case that the children are bonded to you.
5. Do not prevent mom from seeing her children once the emergency guardianship is established. This will be hard because the kids won’t want to go. You have to encourage them. I know it will be hard but you’re not the biological father. If you have any chance you HAVE to show the court you aren’t trying to alienate the children from mom.
6. Keep a log. Document every phone call. Every missed or late visit. Everything! Document anything she misses out at regarding Dr. visits, activities, etc. If mom is as unhinged as you say she will definitely mess up.

Is it really man hating to think he should have made SW aware these kids had been abandoned and he had no legal responsibility or rights to them?

Instead of putting everything above board to protect both him and the kids he tried to keep flying under the radar. Why?

Who knows what his motivation was for that decision, mistrust of SS, ignorance, has something to hide?

Asking for assertions that go against years of professional experience to be clarified is not man hating.

People can't agree with what they know not to be true.

Speaking only for myself, I cannot acknowledge something I do not believe to be true.
No adult in these kids lives (assuming they are real) has really done their best.

My uncle was put in a somewhat similar position (barring the gambling debts). His wife had two DC by a previous partner and then they had a child together.

She fucked off with her karate instructor (yep, about as cliched as a man shagging his secretary), leaving my uncle with all three kids. She had nothing to do with them again until they were adults.

Amazingly (and in my opinion a slap in the face for my uncle, who raised them from 6 and 4 yo) they actually allowed her back into their lives. I’ve no idea whether he sought PR for them, but he did his best to bring them up whilst having to work FT and she didn’t pay him a penny in maintenance.

My exW’s uncle also raised his two (natural) DC after his wife / their mother fucked off and left him with them. Again, no maintenance and she didn’t make any attempts to see them growing up. I don’t think it’s anywhere near as uncommon as some on MN would like to believe.

An acknowledgement that he is trying to do his best for the children would be nice. Instead of the usual MN man hating shite.

Yes when he was asked by posters who work in the various fields to clarify a lot of discrepancies.

No explanation has been forthcoming so draw your own conclusion.

He said quite a few pages ago that he was leaving the thread.

Funnily enough they haven't returned.

Odd.

OP how did it go?

People asking questions have nothing to be ashamed off.
What do you want People to say, "you've done a grand job and all will be fine", when there's nothing to make you think that will be the case?

Holy fuck! A good many of you should be fucking ashamed of yourselves! What repellent behaviour towards a man who appears to be doing something rather extraordinary & (assuming all true) should have been supported & lauded.

Not whatever the hell shitshow went on in here.

Where was the kindness? The understanding?

One of the most disgusting threads I've seen on here.

He hasn't claimed any money for the kids either.
Where has the mum been actually living? Where has she been legally living, ie has she ever moved her address, with doctor, HMRC, DVLA etc?

Seeing as SS are now supposedly involved the court would very likely appoint what's called a guardian ad litem - someone who acts for the child independently of either side. Reports would be prepared and recommendations made. None of which would happen in less than 24 hours.

Yup that's my thinking @Needanewname42 and hoping someone can clarify the legal process in place to prevent "my word against yours", because if not, that's quite a scary concept wrt the risk of children being essentially legally kidnapped by a step-parent.