Husband going out drinking by himself on family holiday

@Treacletoots

lol parents can let their hair down on holiday you know! Why not ? What harm has OP’s husband done exactly?!

Yeah, I think I'd let this one go. Even I wouldn't want to be in my room from 9pm every night. He probably went for walk, had a drink or two, don't be too disheartened.

I love city breaks but they can be awkward with very young children simply because there aren't exactly many apartment blocks with big patios or villas etc - so you are kind of stuck in your room if you have a young child that can't manage staying up - what we did when our son was that age was to go somewhere and have either an aparthotel with terrace or patio or a villa --- somewhere like Benalmedena so you could easily have a day out in Malaga a few times just up the coast or somewhere like Santa Ponsa, Paguera in Majorca and go into Palma a few times. But yes in my opinion it's rubbish for options if you are going to places like Prague, Amsterdam , Berlin etc unless you keep kids up.

When we lived in Copenhagen there were some decent options as just up the coast ( which has a very nice beach) you have places like Hellerup and Charlottenlund which have some lovely smart holiday rentals and you can then get the train into Copenhagen in about 12 minutes- also has a fantastic very old theme park on doorstep in Charlottenlund called Bakken , lots of woods, cute cafes and deer etc. ( I do really miss it, especially in Autumn)

Not everyone’s child would sleep in a buggy like that. My first child would have but my second would have been an absolute nightmare and then screamed non stop and then not slept all night so not worth the hassle.

But someone has to be- he dictated that the op had to spend it stuck in alone.

Op next time I would get an apartment with balcony or villa etc so you have a living space to sit out together and have drinks etc.

Im not sure why you would have to be back in the hotel room by 9pm. Buggy for a 3 year old to sleep in is perfectly normal on holiday. Then neither of you need to be stuck inside by 9pm at night- that wouldn’t really suit me on holiday either to be honest.

🙄

one night I wouldn’t have an issue.

You did agree for him to go out but yeah I think tbh he could have had a drink with you in the hotel room their is a child who will be tired at that time and that's to be expected it's not like OP is wanting to go to bed at 9pm at the end of the day she was going back to the room for the child to go to bed

Well, he probably wasn't huddled in a corner, staring morosely into his Cinco Estrellas. There would've been other people (local colour, atmosphere, society) and it's fairly likely many of them had watched the same match.

You're being unreasonable, it sounds like he wanted a bit of time to himself.

Making memories at 9pm in a hotel room with a snoozing toddler?

I think its normal in some circles OP with some men who are a 'type' and have relationships with women who think 'men will be men'. Old fashioned, sexist types who go out drinking on Christmas Day while you cook dinner and on holiday while you mind the kids, and are all about the 'lads, the beer and the footie' even when they're 50. However, it really wouldn't be normal in most other types of relationship with other men who understand that a family holiday is an entirely different experience than Sunny Beach on a stag, because its not nice to leave your partner in on her own and make her the default child carer at 6am because you didn't get in from drinking with randoms until 1am.

Wouldn't be for me OP, I'd be seriously pissed off being left in the room alone till 1am when he was only supposed to be out for an hour. But MN is full of cool wives who drink a lot I find.

Take it in turns, or let the kid stay up later. Who wants to be in bed by 9?

He was on holiday and he dropped out and chilled. Probably needs to do it more often.

I would be annoyed if my
partner had said he’d be in one bar for an hour or two to watch the football but then had gone to multiple places for twice as long. I think it is weird to expect to go out drinking til early hours when on holiday with your partner and young child. What’s wrong with getting in some drinks for the two of you to have in your room/ apartment and spend the evenings talking? I’d be happy with that. Holidays change when kids come along I’m afraid

As @Wendysfriend says, the obvious (to most of us) thing is to snuggle the child in a buggy and go out! If DC finds it all fascinating instead of sleeping, all the better as you get a bit of a lie-in the next morning.

Oh leave him be it's fine, it's not drinking alone as such as he probably just wanted some time to himself which everyone is entitled to family holiday or not and he would have been likely chatting with locals, guests and staff having fun! I wouldn't want to go back to my room at 9pm either. We've just had a family holiday and a couple of times one of us went back with the kids and the other stayed till closing for a drink and to socialise. As long as it's not every night and he's not hung over all day you need to chill out, poor bloke!

I think it's a waste of money to go on holiday and sit in the room and go to bed at 9pm. Sure you can do that at home. The nights only starting, if you weren't staying in a family friendly hotel why didn't you all go find somewhere with some entertainment and put the child in a buggy. Mine use to be up dancing to bands and discos and we'd have a few drinks, they'd be tired and sleep later. Your child is obviously waking early because they're going to bed early.

On the other 4 nights, what did you and DH do? Were you just sitting in the hotel room with the TV on minimum volume?

Please tell me this isn't your idea of a great family holiday.

I can see both sides tbh.

I probably wouldn’t make a big deal of it. Can be a bit suffocating not having any nightlife when you have small kids, was probably harmless.

1 night, not a problem and couldn't get worked up about this and would most likely enjoy the space

As long as he was up and present the next day to make some memories

I wouldn’t have a problem with that on 1 night.

I think it's not fair to say its ok then get annoyed he's been out. I'm guessing you and DS were likely sleeping in the hotel room then anyway.
If he was OK to be up in the morning and ready to go have a good day then I can't see the issue.