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ExH brought his dog in my house without permission

432 replies

CfCfCftooMuch · 05/11/2024 19:08

ExH just dropped off his dog in my house. For me to look after, even though i had said no to looking after him. The dc let Exh and dog in when i was out. They love that dog and of course had no knowledge of anything.

ExH is gone now for two weeks. Abroad. He just walked out and took off to the airport, leaving dog behind.

I've got two dc and two cats and work long hours. The cats have never spent a night/day alone in the house with this dog. He is kind and mellow, but a large breed. Size of a wolf.
I've contacted a dog shelter and might have to go to go through rspca.

Posting to tell someone. This is just one of many many ways he always finds a way to use me or control my life. I didn't want any of this. And now im left here calling shelters (which im asked to pay for), calling womens aid, calling rspca, figuring out how to do this without upsetting the dc, texting exH to sort out care if he doesn't want me to take this further, posting here for support, trying to figure out tomorrow with sorting out the kids, my work, other stuff, business meeting and my actual day job. Honestly?! Wtf!!!

OP posts:
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Pallisers · 05/11/2024 20:10

2024onwardsandup · 05/11/2024 19:28

Call a husky rescue and explain the awful
situarion - say you don’t want the go to the dog warden and you need an emergency foster.

they might have someone who can take him in. Huskies are full on dogs. Doubt he’s looking after it properly anyway.

poor dog! What an awful person he is

I think this is good advice. He is a horrible horrible man - that dog needs rescuing from him long term.

ArmourClatterSale · 05/11/2024 20:09

Wow, it's one thing dumping a dog on someone who hasn't been consulted and didn't want it, but a completely different thing when the dog is a Husky. They are beautiful dogs but can be so much work, especially if they haven't had a lot of time spent training them (and I will assume that hasn't happened as time spent training would mean be cared a lot about the dog and would make suitable arrangements for it when going away). They can be neurotic, noisy, escape artists, strong willed, need a hell of a lot of exercise and mental stimulation and they can be tone deaf when it comes to recall.

That is very different to a 10yr old well behaved Cavalier/Labrador/Shih Tzu that just wants to snuggle up to someone warm.

TonTonMacoute · 05/11/2024 20:06

I would google husky owners/rescue organisations and go from there.

It might be tricky if you don't know the dog's vaccination status, but it's your best chance of getting some help from people who will know how to look after the dog properly, and hopefully be happy to help. You will have to pay for it, but try and get the cost back somehow.

Sorry you got involved with such a selfish arsehole. Maybe you might forget who has the dog in two weeks time..!

MissingLynks · 05/11/2024 20:05

You should be aware that the RSPCA/another rescue will not take someone else's dog from you - you don't have the legal right to sign over ownership to them which is what they will require. I used to work for a shelter, we had to scrupulously check for proof of ownership before accepting a surrender as we would be open to legal action from the dog's legal owner if we took a dog and rehomed it without their permission.

Even if you claim the dog is abandoned, many shelters still won't be able to take it as the legal requirement with an abandoned dog is to notify the local authority dog warden who may have their own contracted kennels for holding - they hold dogs for 7 days after which they are free to dispose of it which may include euthanasia. You could try calling the local dog warden and seeing what they say but it's likely they won't consider the dog abandoned and won't see it as their problem.

I'd also remind you that shelters/rescues are charities, they are not free boarding kennels for people having domestic disputes.

If you can't or won't care for the dog, you either need to pass it on to another friend or family member of your ex's who can, or put it in a boarding kennels and send your ex the bill. As out of order as he is and as inconvenient as it is for you, this isn't an underfunded under-resourced shelter's problem to solve for you.

AgnesX · 05/11/2024 20:01

CfCfCftooMuch · 05/11/2024 19:16

He has no parents alive. Tonight i will lock the cats in my bedroom with me. Tomorrow i take the dog to his place using the dc keys.

To leave the dog alone? That's not fair or kind to the dog.

Sleepysleepycoffeecoffee · 05/11/2024 20:01

CfCfCftooMuch · 05/11/2024 19:16

He has no parents alive. Tonight i will lock the cats in my bedroom with me. Tomorrow i take the dog to his place using the dc keys.

I was going to suggest this. Leave it at his house and phone the rspca to say he’s away for two weeks and abandoned it

Starlight7080 · 05/11/2024 19:57

He should have arranged somthing for the 2 weeks and paid like other people do.
Tell him send money and you find a place that can take him for two weeks or you are going to report him as abandoned at his home.
As really that's what he has done. You can't look after him .

peachesarenom · 05/11/2024 19:51

Wow! That is really manipulative and shitty!!!

diddl · 05/11/2024 19:50

and recover that cost from him later.

That's unlikely to happen isn't it?

If he was willing to pay the dog wouldn't be at Op's!

May09Bump · 05/11/2024 19:49

2024onwardsandup · 05/11/2024 19:28

Call a husky rescue and explain the awful
situarion - say you don’t want the go to the dog warden and you need an emergency foster.

they might have someone who can take him in. Huskies are full on dogs. Doubt he’s looking after it properly anyway.

poor dog! What an awful person he is

This is a good idea and a great place to start.

WiddlinDiddlin · 05/11/2024 19:48

Don't hand the dog to a shelter - they won't take it if they know the situation, the dog isn't truly 'abandoned' as you know he is returning in two weeks, he'll just claim a misunderstanding and the shelter is at risk of legal action.

If you lie to the shelter, they'll be at risk of legal action as they'd either keep the dog 7 days (if its a pound and you claim to have found the dog) then rehome, or rehome straight away if you say the dog is yours and its an owner surrender... as it isn't your dog to do this with, it isn't their dog to rehome... so he could take them and you, to court.

As you know he is only away two weeks, he wouldn't be seen by a court to have truly abandoned the dog, he'll again, just claim a misunderstanding, so you can't sell or give the dog away.

If you put the dog in his house and the dog suffers as a result, you were the last adult with a duty of care/responsibility to the dog, you may also be liable for that (it is less likely but possible).

Your best bet is to pay to put the dog in kennels and recover that cost from him later.

Patienceinshortsupply · 05/11/2024 19:47

How old are your DC OP? Is one of them old enough to have the dog at his house?

Mary28 · 05/11/2024 19:41

Do you have his bank details? I'd be dropping the dog to the kennels with his bank details.
Or bringing him to a pound. And your ex can fuck the hell off.
Or drop him back to his house and ring the animal welfare.
I wouldn't give a shit, I'd be doing one of the above. And I love dogs.

lasagnelle · 05/11/2024 19:41

StillAtTheRestaurant · 05/11/2024 19:33

If the kids are old enough to have keys to their dad's house, presumably they're old enough to look after their dad's dog for two weeks. At your house, obviously. The cats will cope.

Can the dc live there for two weeks or are they too young

IKEAJesus · 05/11/2024 19:37

StillAtTheRestaurant · 05/11/2024 19:33

If the kids are old enough to have keys to their dad's house, presumably they're old enough to look after their dad's dog for two weeks. At your house, obviously. The cats will cope.

Why should someone else’s dog take priority over OP’s own pets?

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 05/11/2024 19:37

StillAtTheRestaurant · 05/11/2024 19:33

If the kids are old enough to have keys to their dad's house, presumably they're old enough to look after their dad's dog for two weeks. At your house, obviously. The cats will cope.

A husky has an insane prey drive. It's quite possible it will kill the cats.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 05/11/2024 19:35

I would be very very careful that whoever you call to collect it will not put the dog down or rehome it if not collected.

The poor dog hasn't asked for this and your DC will truly hate you if their dog dies or disappears.

The county council / dog warden here rehome dogs if they not collected within 7 days.

RedHelenB · 05/11/2024 19:35

Michelle12A · 05/11/2024 19:17

isn’t that illegal if he doesn’t give you permission to enter?

The dc can take the dog back then

BarrioQueen · 05/11/2024 19:35

Poor dog. If you can't look after him. Contact a kennels - but it will need to be up to date with its injections and vaccinations.

UnhappyAndYouKnowIt · 05/11/2024 19:34

Yep. Huskies are also notorious escape artists. It's a shame that the dog got away while you were at work and was never seen again. I sure hope a breed specific rescue finds it and gets it a lovely new home.

StillAtTheRestaurant · 05/11/2024 19:33

If the kids are old enough to have keys to their dad's house, presumably they're old enough to look after their dad's dog for two weeks. At your house, obviously. The cats will cope.

2024onwardsandup · 05/11/2024 19:28

Call a husky rescue and explain the awful
situarion - say you don’t want the go to the dog warden and you need an emergency foster.

they might have someone who can take him in. Huskies are full on dogs. Doubt he’s looking after it properly anyway.

poor dog! What an awful person he is

BreadInCaptivity · 05/11/2024 19:27

Husky's need a hell of a lot of care as I understand it. Lots of high intensity walks.

They are breed as working dog afaik?

Willyoujustbequiet · 05/11/2024 19:27

CfCfCftooMuch · 05/11/2024 19:24

Its a husky.

They need a lot of exercise daily. So unfair on the poor thing.

He's abusive to both women and animals it would appear.

AllYearsAround · 05/11/2024 19:26

CfCfCftooMuch · 05/11/2024 19:22

He has no family. I will take the dog to his place for the day. Don't know what else to do. I have to go to work. I feel bad too, i like him, but he needs walks during the day i assume? Im gone for 9hrs every day!

I don't think the dog warden will be able to get it from his house - you'll need to call them to collect from yours.

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