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New colleague commenting on name

188 replies

Ifyouseeitsayit1983 · 05/11/2024 16:59

Felt a bit upset and annoyed today. Started a new job yesterday. Another person started at the same time. We were completing online training this afternoon and she saw my surname on the screen. She said 'how do you pronounce that?!?' with a derogatory tone. I told her. Now my name is not awful pronounced correctly but if pronounced incorrectly could be mistaken for a rude word for a man's private parts! After I told her the correct pronunciation she said 'oh I bet loads of people pronounce it the wrong way ha ha' and laughed. Now bear in mind I'd never met this woman before yesterday morning and she has already given off an air of superiority to the others in the team 'oh I could never drink instant' for example so not warming to her. I just laughed it off (name thing) but felt really down after. Don't want to put up with aholes like this in the workplace! Would u just ignore and try to stay away or say anything to line manager??

OP posts:
Mrsprofessor83 · 05/11/2024 17:15

My guess is Wiley or Dique 😋

Dontlletmedownbruce · 05/11/2024 17:15

That might have been her attempt at being friendly! Ignore it for now, as others say she might be nervous, she might be a pain,you'll soon know. If she was mocking your name or calling you the wrong name that would be wrong. She merely commented it sounds like something else.

lanthanum · 05/11/2024 17:14

I think you're being a bit over-sensitive. All the guidance I've ever seen is that if you don't know how to pronounce someone's name, you should ask them. Until you've heard someone quite a bit, it's not always easy to tell what is just their normal tone and what is trying to convey something. And the comment afterwards was just small talk - maybe not the best, but she might just have been trying to be friendly.
It sounds like she might not be "your type", but give her a chance - you can probably rub along together even if you are never going to be friends - but you won't if you go running to your line manager after one clumsy attempt at small talk.

Ifyouseeitsayit1983 · 05/11/2024 17:10

Like I'm going to type my name! Thanks, a lot of you have made me actually feel worse for doing nothing wrong.

OP posts:
SabreIsMyFave · 05/11/2024 17:07

hoarahloux · 05/11/2024 17:05

Careful, Ms Behlend might read this!

😂

WHAT IS THE NAME @Ifyouseeitsayit1983 ??????????

hoarahloux · 05/11/2024 17:05

MumOfOneAllAlone · 05/11/2024 17:01

Definitely don't bring it up to your manager! Just ignore and see how other people respond to her - she sounds like a bellend but maybe she's just nervous

If it's the former, others will see it too x

Careful, Ms Behlend might read this!

BarbaraHoward · 05/11/2024 17:04

Time will tell. If she's awful it won't just be you she's awful to. Don't let her get under your skin.

SatansBobbleheadedDashboardOrnament · 05/11/2024 17:04

Christ, don't bring it up to your line manager. You're five minutes in to a new job, they'll think you're bonkers.

Surely there are more important things you can focus on as you take on a new job? Training perhaps?

If she's going to be a wanker, let her be a wanker.

MidnightPatrol · 05/11/2024 17:03

You are reading far too much into this.

HecatesBees · 05/11/2024 17:03

Possibly nervous - give her the benefit of the doubt, but be on guard.

Kill her with kindness though - thats fun to do

(whats the name?????)

PCOSisaid · 05/11/2024 17:03

I don’t like instant coffee and have a very dry sense of humour.

We probably wouldn’t make great friends OP…

Gizlotsmum · 05/11/2024 17:02

I think maybe you are reading too much into it? I will often ask how to pronounce a name ( or apologise if I am about to attempt to pronounce it and get it horribly wrong). I still find it hard to judge intent if not in person. Maybe she is just trying to get to know people?

MumOfOneAllAlone · 05/11/2024 17:01

Definitely don't bring it up to your manager! Just ignore and see how other people respond to her - she sounds like a bellend but maybe she's just nervous

If it's the former, others will see it too x

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