New colleague commenting on name

@PCOSisaid i don’t like instant either and only drink my own coffee form my bean to cup machine. But I don’t go around announcing I don’t like instant and sound like a twat. That would be carport behaviour and sounding superior to those that DO like instant.

I also have a dry sense of humour - but I don’t belittle people with it.

@Ifyouseeitsayit1983 you’re not being oversensitive at all - ignore those people n here saying you are. They’re just keyboard warriors hiding behind anonymity.
The colleague didn’t just ask how to pronounce it (totally fine) but she made a joke about it thereby putting you down. I would ignore for now and see how others view her. If she keeps it up have a quiet word and say “you’re making me feel uncomfortable with XXX, please stop”. If she continues, you go to your manager.

i wouldn’t

My name is one that if you choose to emphasise it in a wrong way then you can just about hear a very mildly (to 6 yo boys) amusing word.
When it is pointed out to me I roll my eyes inwardly and say "yes. I've been told that before." And that the end of that conversation. It's totally non-event really.

Now bear in mind I'd never met this woman before yesterday morning and she has already given off an air of superiority to the others in the team
I don't really get what the issue is here. The way you've written this I would have assumed if you hadn't written the earlier bit, that she was the newbie and that was her introduction to the team. On the basis this isn't, then the team is used to her and either they know what she's like and roll their eyes, or they know what she's like and love her for her quirks.

So just chill out and, you never know, you might get to know her and become friends.

Or Coch !

You feel how you feel, obviously OP

But I genuinely couldn't get worked up over someone asking me how I pronounce my name, and then saying they bet people pronounce it wrong, because it sounds rude 😳

I’m guessing it’s Cockburn, pronounced Coburn

OP you’re a grown adult, surely you’ve encountered others in your life that have ribbed you on your name before.

It isn’t a big deal, stop creating drama, take it in good humour and move on with your life.

Op you don't know this woman. Why on earth would you allow someone you don't know affect you this much. When dogs bark at you in the street do you obsessed over why they did it and feel hurt? She made some noises and they were a bit annoying. In future don't laugh and don't respond, just literally move on to the next topic of conversation. You don't need her to approve of your name.

Grow the fuck up? She said ‘I bet lots of people pronounce it the wrong way’. What is wrong with that??? She didn’t call her the incorrect name. She did the right thing by asking OP how to pronounce it.

The colleague has done nothing wrong.

I wonder if that's OP's surname pronounced Bellond of course

Shame your friendships aren't like your coffee.

Wow you sound a nightmare to work with. Oversensitive, dramatic. She made a joke you didn't like and your first thought is grass her up. It's OK to just let some things go. Not everything has to be a big drama.

My kids have a teacher called Mr Nobes pronounced no-bs. I know some of the kids call him something completely different.

As someone with a name which can be mispronounced to a boy's name who spent years having to correct teachers and being mocked with it ...

I think you are over reacting.

You already decided you don't like her because of the coffee comment

She asked a perfectly reasonable comment about how to pronounce your name, which you interpreted as snide, and then made an off hand but obvious comment about how it could be mispronounced. Unless she starts deliberately calling you it then it's nothing to worry about

Your spider senses are tingling and so I would listen to them. I wouldn’t report this early on in a job, because I think it will be counterproductive, sadly, so I would go forward being professionally friendly on the surface, so no-one thinks it’s you being the problem, but definitely keep your distance where you can until you can assess further. It’s so easy to say stupid stuff when nerves kick in (I have form for this!) and hopefully this is all it is, but I’ve learned to pay attention to my instincts and not to be too easily dissuaded away from them.

Behlend, Cockburn, Penistone...

If your surname is non-English, I'd keep an ear out for any further sly remarks or deliberate mispronunciation of foreign names and people. I have a foreign surname so anyone asking 'how do you pronounce that then?!' in an somewhat aggressive way usually follows it up with general xenophobia.

Deliberately mispronouncing their own name in a silly way usually makes them apologise and learn 😅 Tam for Tim, Colon for Colin, etc.

I think you are overreacting. I lived for 30 years with a first name/ surname combination that made everyone laugh. While I really got fed up with it, I don’t blame people. I took my husband’s surname on marriage.

Cockburn?
Le Coq?

Anyway, I'd let it go this time OP but if she starts deliberately pronouncing it wrong finding it "totes hilar" then you can tell her to pack it in and if she doesn't at that point you could mention it to someone.

N

Fucking hell, he sounds like a character from Viz, I love it!

She was stupid and tactless but don't say anything to the manager, it was hopefully a one off.

Just be glad your address isn't in Cockermouth.

Eh? The OP said that the woman literally said:'oh I bet loads of people pronounce it the wrong way ha ha'

What on earth is 'unbelievably, horrifically rude' about that? Maybe at most, 'a bit off' or 'slightly unprofessional' but it's nowhere near 'horrifically rude.'

I've got a name that is pronounced wrongly 75% of the time, so I know that it CAN be grating, but this example is a bit of nothing, IMO OP.

I think you're massively overreacting

My birth name was very similar to yours. I found actually it was rare people outright said the slang for penis they would over pronounce it.

With someone like this woman I would just smile and say "actually no that doesnt happen often people are polite"

I don't drink instant coffee I don't like it not that I announce it outloud I just say no thank you. I think this one is about you just taking the high road op. Others will see her behaviour too.

Pennis or Dyke?

There's no point saying anything to anyone.
Just take note that this person is almost certainly an arsehole. Hopefully you won't need to speak to them regularly. It could also be they were feeling nervous, were out of their depth and tried to be 'funny' and it clearly backfired.
Just ignore them and move on. Concentrate on the work and you'll organically make friends with nicer people soon enough I'm sure.

Thank goodness someone who works in a similar office environment to me. If she's taking the piss out of your name OP who else is she taking the piss out of. I'm sorry you had to put up with this.