I usually spend Christmas at my dads house (mam lives close by) or at my in laws, and fly to my dads on 27th. My mam usually hosts dinner including my dad, her partner,
me, my husband and my sister.
This year we can’t travel as I will have a very young baby and a toddler. It just so happens my sister has decided she doesn’t want to travel and will instead stay in her city with her boyfriend of 2 years. No extenuating circumstances, just want she feel like doing. Usually this wouldnt bother me, but this year my dad is too unwell to travel to us. Mam has said that she and partner will come to us. Which leaves our dad alone. He has plenty of friends but has said on several occasions he’ll be fine alone. I feel sad for him as I think he doesn’t want to ask for invites, I also feel like a shitty daughter who will be judged when his friends find out we’re not visiting.
I feel quite helpless as I think my sister should
have planned to go to my mams, then my dad would go there and all would be well. But she hasn’t. She’s pretty much said that she shouldn’t be guilted into going. I haven’t told her I think she should, but it’s pretty obvious as I’ve said I feel bad for not going and I’m upset he’ll be alone. I also feel bad my mam will be at ours, when I know my dad would like to come! Equally I can’t punish her because of his illness, she’s generally very good to him even though they’ve been divorced for 30 years.
A aside- ive said I’ll try to visit towards Easter when the baby is more able to travel by car, but it’s a really long journey and I’m very anxious about it. My dads house is also not ideal for us as we prefer to have a room for each child and ourselves (my in laws are overseas, but it’s easier to visit them as they have a big house that’s prefect for kids).
AIBU to be upset? What should I do?