He rang me at work just to slurp at me…

Yeah, I get that - same with babies, you're just relieved they are actually eating .

When I met my husband he used to chew with his mouth open. I literally told him it was a deal breaker for me, I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who couldn't eat with his mouth closed.

He liked me enough to learn to eat with his mouth closed.

On the contrary, your husband does this deliberately knowing how much you don't like it? What a pig.

Logically, humans have agency whereas animals do not, in that they need to eat and cannot control their chomping. Sometimes it is gratifying, mucked out properly, bedded with straw, manger packed with hay, horse snorting wth pleasure, chomping away on hay, plus! sucking up fresh clean water, I will lean over the door and watch, listen, smile, totally relaxing.
Across the table from a masticating slurping husband shovelling in, devouring mycarefully prepared and presented meal, distressing.

He then just slurps. No more conversation, just slurping down the phone at me. Like he rang me at work just to slurp loudly directly into my ear?

That was deliberate on his part. He deliberately did something that made you feel so uncomfortable and upset despite knowing how it affected you. Almost like throwing a cushion or something soft right next to you on the sofa repeatedly. It's the implication that he can do whatever he wants and there's nothing you can do about it without you coming across as crazy.

Now do you think it's light hearted?

yes exactly! I did have private, secret counselling with a lovely older lady - she aSked me to describe how ‘getting on my nerves manifested itself so this eating/slurping came up first. Apparently I was noticing at the time as everything else was overwhelming and distressing me, I had decided to separate, so I was ‘allowing’ myself to see and acknowedge something which had been there all the time. She was right of course, a wise astute woman.
I have wondered about the autistic element although now it doesn’t matter.
My now adult children have table manners when they are required, dining out often.

Misophonia is a bit of a curse - so glad when I retired and didn't have to sit in the staff room with the noisy bastards

It’s a small torture to live with isn’t it, just many parts of a death by a thousand cuts. I will say though, my ex is highly likely to be autistic, something we only started to see after our children showed traits picked up from the HV. It explained a lot of behaviours that were evidently sensory based, but instead of accepting that these things needed to be managed he just said he was ‘leaning into being autistic’ (his words). This meant stopping brushing teeth and having showers regularly, but that’s a whole other thread.

Also standing indoorways isa thing. Blocking. expecting to confer
permission to leave

This isn’t actually light hearted - this was my experience when married for about 10 years, I noticed the strange way my husband ate, the way he twizzled his food laden fork around before plunging fork in mouth, the way he flicked his fork at mashed ptato, patted it with the back of his fork three times then lunged at the forkful, slurping his coffee, sort of sucking it up, shovelled food together with his knife and fork, other things but I am trying not to remember athougn I do remember I stopped making soup,too slurpable.
It was hard with small children, teaching table manners, hoping they would recognise his oddities and not emulate them.
I realised that I could not bear to live withhim any longer, the mealtime rituals being
a part of this realisation, not the whole.
When we had separated, he would phone on Friday after work, whilst slurping a mug of tea. I askedhimto stop phoning. Who wants to listen to slurps. It’s so common.

Not lighthearted at all OP - this is awful. How old is your DH - 12? Not only is it incredibly immature but it’s a horrible thing to do, knowing that you are sensitive to noises like that. And as a pp said, the phone would amplify it & make it even worse. He clearly holds you in contempt 😢

LTB

Singing the song Baby Shark at someone.

My partner does it on purpose because he knows I hate it. I eat in a different room now and won't go back in the room until he's finished.

I find Flare or Loop ear plugs are absolute game changers for me misophonia. Flare ones smooth the channel of your ear and make the sound less ‘jarring’.

My partner (knowing I have misophonia) admitted the other month when we had a ‘make or break emergency summit’ type war council to save our relationship that sometimes if I’ve annoyed him he intentionally follows me around or stands closer to me when he knows he’s eating something noisy. He’s stopped doing it now, because he’s realised how childish and unhelpful it is. And that misophonia is a genuine thing.

One thing you need to be careful of OP is that it might not be entirely that they’re eating noisily. Misophonia makes you extra sensitive to these noises. So even normal, acceptable and unavoidable levels of noise can set you off.

You have misophonia. It’s a genuine thing. My partner is the same, even with his mouth fully closed I can hear him chewing and sucking things. He also slurps soup, and sloshes hot liquid (like tea) around his mouth ‘to cool it down’ before swallowing. It makes me want to punch him in the throat.

Get yourself some earplugs that help take the edge off the sound. Flare and Loop both do brilliant ones.

On the whole though, eating down the phone is just revolting and horrific manners.

yes, and apparently people like you are the reason things need to be explained in great, specific, well worded detail.

Firstly i wrote it - i have no reason to not put the way I would genuinely handle it 🤷🏻‍♀️
(I appreciate some people do love to troll on here but I don’t know what about my response indicated I was anything but serious!)

You then got it in your head, just because it’s (apparently) not how you would handle it, I was somehow lying?!?

Then, instead of just going “meh, not how i would deal with it but swiftly moving on” you decided to challenge me on it.

I then responded confirming that would indeed be how I would handle it.

You are now here doubling down and not believing what you are being told 🫠🫠

Do you think I’m lying or an idiot who doesn’t know my own mind 🙈

Also, why does it effing matter to you THIS much 🤷🏻‍♀️

Bet you love lighting a few gas fires dontcha 🤨

With a LOT of words, is my point?

@Fromage
What is baby Sharking? 🤔

abso fucking lutely!

she has clearly had enough, hence this post, and she could either accept this is her life now, or address it head on.

if you need to get your point across on a emotive topic with a manchild, sometimes you need to lay the groundrules out first, then address the issue!
by showing him you have really taken to heart the matter has to hit home for him (hopefully!)

^

My DP has developed the habit of standing in the doorway of the living room, eating a bowl of crunchy cereal, so he can watch the TV. It means he's crunchy loudly somewhere behind me and drives me nuts. Also means I have to say 'excuse me' and squeeze past him when I want to leave the room to get away from the noise.

Would you really say all that?

I have misophonia. Finding the babbling brook noise on my phone used together with noise cancelling headphones is a game changer.

Poor DH eats noisily, to me with my over sensitive ears anyway, so we eat in front of the television and the noise drowns it out. The DC are at university so it's not like we are missing on family conversation.

I’d probably be saying something like this to him: “DH, I need you to sit and listen while i tell you something, you’re going to be tempted to interject and ‘deny or defend’ yourself but i need you to push past that and actually listen to me because I need you to understand the severity of the matter but also not act out while i’m speaking and de-rail the conversation. Can you do that?

you have recently started this gross habit of being excessively loud when you eat, and I can’t work out if you’ve just run out of polite ducks to give and this is going to be just how you are now, and you fully accept that people are going to look at you like you’re some deranged animal
OR,
and I don’t know if this is worse,
but you are purposely doing it TO me because you think it’s funny to make yourself repugnant to me (and in which case you seriously need to consider the consequences of that if you ever want sex again!!) or to wind me up because you get some kind of kick out of pissing me off because either there is some resentment on your end towards me or you are purposefully trying to sabotage our marriage and you want me to go nuclear on you/us, but you can have a get out of jail free card and just tell everyone our marriage ended because I was being unreasonable over “nothing” and make it out like i’m crazy and irrational.

I don’t want a response from you right now because this was hard for me to say and i’m feeling very vulnerable and I worry without some space, all that’s going to happen is we are going to fight, so let’s take some space and please have a think about what i’ve said.
Also, we don’t hate to talk about it again if you don’t want to and think it is something you can alter with minimal disruption for you?