Worried about our house and socialising

This. You’re overthinking

I wouldn’t judge a parent whose house was in a bad way as long as it was clean and safe and the parents came across as friendly

I remember seeing Kirsty Allsopp on one of her tv programmes advise have a annual fund for ongoing maintenance of at least 1% house value. Maybe adopt that approach op, so you can start to tackle the jobs. If you wait until you pay off the mortgage the property may not be worth it. Through dc schooling we went to houses that were works in progress over an extended period.

We still have some disposable income for extra-curriculars, days out, holidays etc, just not enough for big house projects!

Doesn't sound like that's the OP's situation if their overpayments prevent them from even adjusting doors, I assume it's strangling them more than it is you if it's being brought up in her opening post.

Hi again op, I never said that your house is filthy I was talking about one house that stood out to me after years of play dates.

to be honest I’m not sure what you’re looking for from this thread as you just seem to be bothered about your spreadsheets and letting us all know that your house is perfectly fine but “just” has an unclean conservatory roof and an overgrown garden ( and the kitchen sorry ) so why would that be an issue?

i still don’t get the overpaying on mortgage to help the kids out when you live in a house that needs things doing. You’re clearly not as happy in it as you say or it wouldn’t bother you. I prefer to live in a house that is far from Insta glam but is modern, clean, tidy and I am proud to invite people to. I’m also crap with money so what do I know?!

So... I think you have to spend on maintenance. Clearing gutters (avoid penetrating damp), mowing grass (so ypu don't need to relay turf) repairing skirting (drafts), repainting windows (avoid rot), replacing bathroom mastic (avoid water splashes rotting flooring), getting slipped slates replaced (avoid rot in roof). It's really costly not to, more than the compound mortgage interest.
Making it pretty? Well, if it upsets you that you're house isnt "nice enough", then you can choose to spend on mortgage interest or on home improvement, just like you choose between any expenditure and the mortgage.

Just what I was thinking..,,

What you’re not answering though is that there’s a middle ground between a full “insta glam” reno and living with doors that stick and a manky conservatory roof. I also agree I wouldn’t be borrowing extra money but to me keeping the garden in a devent state, keeping the doors working and the conservatory clean would be considered basic maintenance, and I’d do that over overpaying.

I’d also have it decorated nicely and probably decent carpets. I do still think it’s a bit odd that you’re not prepared to do these basics- I just couldn’t live with these niggles and in a worst case scenario it could lead to your asset (house) depreciating (the garden will become unmanageable, you won’t be able to “create” a nice garden if you do want to sell, the doors will eventually break and the conservatory seals could be damaged and start leaking).

You live once.
Make sure your home is comfortable and nice if you can afford mortgage repayments.

After this overpay.

I don’t know, my daughter gets invited to parties, but just not houses, and she tells me other girls have gone to other houses for sleepovers and play dates… it’s bizarre, we really don’t judge the state of houses but do judge hospitality not being reciprocated, even if it means just my daughter goes that’s fine, it’s her I feel for.

One of my friends lives in a beautil big house that they fully renovated when they moved in. I live in a tiny house with a half renovated kitchen, some rooms don’t have doors, and some rooms don’t have carpet (long story why we have stopped for the time being). I still invite her round, my house is clean and tidy and warm, I’m not embarrassed and she doesn’t recoil in horror on the doorstep and refuse to come round.

honestly, people won’t care

Cut your grass, frenchic paint the kitchen, paint it all nice and white. Keep it clean.

I’ve probably bought, renovated and sold more houses than you have had hot dinners, DH is a builder thanks very much and I work in a joinery so I now a fair bit about property. You still haven’t answered the question though, why did you buy such a run down property when the fully renovated ones cost the same?

We cleaned our conservatory with a Karcher jet wash and one of those soft brush attachments for car cleaning. You do need to be careful around the seals and joints, don't over-blast it, but it worked fantastically well. Then we washed the inside down with a solution of Flash and wiped all the mildew off with a mildew remover spray. It looked brand new afterwards.

Also you can always meet up at soft play and say you're having renovations done. Kids don't care and parents are happy if their kids come home happy and tired.

One of the happiest houses I took my kids to when they were young was a messy rental that was full of toys, balloons and food and mess and the kids had a great time and nobody judged because the kids had a great time. Kids don't enjoy themselves as much if a house is like a museum. Get the living room and one toilet together and the rest is out of bounds.

DS never had a play date as his sister has destroyed the house and I work PT. He's always had masses of friends and invites. Most parents don't do it on a tit for tat basis.

A previous poster asked you why you didn’t buy a fully renovated house in your area as you said there is no price difference, why did you pay the same for a run down house that needs a full renovation and maintenance? Sounds like you have made a bad financial decision and your house sounds a false economy, do you really think your house in the state it is in is the same value as a fully renovated well maintained house in your road?