Reasonable expectations for adult child to visit grand parents

The grandparents need to back off and stop pressuring her. She's actually seen both sets a lot for a girl her age.
She's young and has her own life to establish. She's building her career and of course she'd rather see her boyfriend than hang around with grandparents! Weren't they young once?
Is she the only grandchild by any chance?

It really bugs me when the healthy, retired usually wealthy grandparents with plenty of time on their hands place such pressure snd burdens on the young like this op.

I would be quite forthright with them. They are still able to travel so the onus is on them for now, as she has to work!

I think she's seeing them a lot. They can't seriously expect to see her every week as if they lived round the corner from her!

It's impressive at least that your parents travel to see her. But that will get harder.

I would always encourage grandchildren to stay in touch with video calls or phone calls, and an annual visit to them would be pretty much a minimum I think. I have to say though that I think they are lucky. My nieces and nephews only have one remaining grandparent but the annual visit is about all they do. Ds does more browbeaten by me and has more grandparents but still nothing like as much as your daughter. I would back her up very emphatically to them. She's not a child and has every right to spend a lot of time with her boyfriend.

Your dd is doing more than enough as it is, given how spread out they all are. Dd is also working snd in a relationship. Why not suggest the Cotswolds grandparents join you when they can on a Wednesday night for supper? Maybe once a month? They will have more time than any of you to travel. I think their expectations are too high, if they are expecting her to do more.

Or they could move to London and see both of you more often.

There should be very little expectation for an young adult grandchild to visit especially if
overseas. But once a year would be respectful; more kind.
The situation with the Italian grandparents is difficult as they lost their son but even so a couple of times a year is good.
Your parents should stop putting pressure on her to go . She goes plenty.

It’s great they all like seeing her so much but 3 visits to the Italian gp and seeing the Cotswolds ones 5 times sounds absolutely fine to me. And you don’t have to justify her coming to see you every Wednesday night, that’s lovely.

This is probably a good life lesson for her about setting boundaries and not feeling obliged to bend to other people’s expectations as long as she feels what she is doing is reasonable.

I think that sounds relatively healthy considering the schedule and boundaries inflicted due to life commitments/geography etc.

Modern life is hectic - we visit my elderly in laws weekly now and even that can feel a slight burden on time (from my end anyway, My Husband would live there permanantly I think) - Not because I don't like them etc but because of how quickly it comes around and it's half a day out of a weekend, with so much else ging on (none of which is a social life may I add!).
'Visitation' obligations as we get older definitely become more complicated when Grandparents are in the equation for sure - it's a decision as to where we value our time/relationships more against the juggle of work/household and other priorities.