Reasonable expectations for adult child to visit grand parents

I was going to suggest FaceTime

I agree with this.

I think she's doing well really , many young people cba when they only live around the corner

My son of a similar age hardly ever sees his grandparents. They all live about 3 hours away from him. The only time he definitely sees them is at Christmas, then perhaps one or two other times throughout the year, often if there is an occasion going on.
My grandmother used to phone me once or twice a week - maybe they could do Facetime if they'd like to speak to her more often? I only see my own son a few times a year but we talk a lot.

Agreed. She's young and having adventures, she shouldn't be sat at her grandparents house every weekend just in case they die

I'd say she's seeing her grandparents plenty. When you bear in mind the logistics they're doing well in visiting times.

DD lost her dad age 14. Of all people I doubt she needs prompting to think about how she'd feel when a loved one dies. This is emotional blackmail of the highest order.

How often do they come to visit her?

My grandparents were great they accepted my life was busy and loved hearing from me with messages and phone calls. But then they had plenty of grandchildren so I imagine that eased the pressure on each of us individually

Your DD sounds a very attentive DGD to me. Its not like she can pop in on her way from work for a cuppa, the visits are a significant commitment of time and money for her. If she feels under pressure then I'd be supporting her to come to a level that feels more comfortable. Does she keep in touch in other ways? Could she maybe send them both a fortnightly email to share her news? Message them with photos? Face time? Even an old style card or letter now and again to show she's thinking of them? (If she already does all this and the visits, then she's a very good DGD indeed!)

Do the Grandparents visit her? If not why not? This works both ways. STBXH parents are like this, incapable of visiting anybody else and expect the world to come to them.

I think once a year for a long weekend abroad to see those grandparents and 2/3 times a year for the ones in the Cotswolds would be perfectly reasonable.

She is already doing more than enough, so definitely doesn't need to be trying to squeeze more in.

It's simple ask her if they were to die tomorrow would she feel like she's seen them enough, or would she feel like some of those weekends in France would have been better spent in the Cotswolds or Italy.

That sounds like she is doing a lot of travelling. She is also quite young and those visits will be costing her money and the time doesn't feel as much at that age (I remember the days of driving a few hundred miles and back in a day), but it really is a lot of effort if you think about it.
My nieces and nephews are in the same country and only see GPS at family gatherings at Christmas/ if GPS visit them really. When they were in different countries, they made no independent travels to see their GPS.
At 22, I lived in the same country as my GPS and phoned once a month minimum and visited about 5 times- and they lived within an hrs drive!
I really think she is doing plenty. I hope nobody is putting pressure on her.

It sounds enough. She’s only 22 you don’t want her burning out

That's plenty of visiting.

Do the grandparents travel to visit her?

Similarly international family. I'd see grandparents once or twice a year at most at that age.

I have a grandparent abroad, and I only manage to visit once a year, but I prioritise it over a holiday, so I stay for two weeks. Other than that, eight grandparent visits a year are loads, and a schlep to the Cotswolds from London is quite an undertaking. To be honest, it is probably easier to visit Italy.

That's plenty of visits for grandparents assuming none of them are terminally ill. A couple of times a year is perfectly reasonable for a 22yo and she's doing more than that. She's out there living her life and should have minimal family expectations.

I think it sounds like she's visiting loads, I suspect I didn't see my grandparents as much at that age and I lived in the same city as them.

That sounds a lot given the travel involved, it's not like she can pop in for a hour. how often do they visit you guys?

My dds are similar age and grandparents are within a thirty minute drive. They see my dad every couple of months and their dad's parents (who they are closer to) every few weeks. They both work full time and have boyfriends/social ives going on at a weekend.

I'm getting such a sense of de ja vu with this thread... Someone has definitely posted this before.... Spooky

I am 25 and visited my grandparents who live abroad once a year. Boyfriend, friends and family, work, expense and other commitments such as sport means its near impossible to do it more than once per year. They are understanding, I always give them a ring every few months.

Your DD does more than most of my friends who dont have GPs living on their doorstep.

Another vote for your DD already doing plenty and grandparents need to manage their expectations more. Is she the only grandchild?

I voted incorrectly. She is visiting more than most. Zero pressure on my older DC to visit grandparents

Just so you can compare. My teens are a little younger than yours but all adults, visit their grandparents once a year, sometimes twice. They live all over the UK and are studying.