DH complaining about look after kids

The opening post has been edited. It was stated that the course was only available in the evening.

I do not believe comparing an evening course to the pub is in anyway comparable. She could be learning a physical skill, artistic skills etc all adding to her well being.

Where has she said they're educational?

She's just said "evening class/clubs" which could be anything from studying Latin to wine tasting!

Socializing with friends, whether it’s at an educational course or in the pub, is enriching. We are social animals and keeping up friendships is an important part of maintaining good mental health. The educational aspect of any course/hobby/pastime is secondary.

I think you might have misunderstood me. I was imagining how I would feel if my husband did the course so I'm not sure how feminism or misogyny comes into it. And I wasn't talking about course availability as op hasn't mentioned that as a reason. Just it being a social event, like going to the pub is, by OPs own description of why she wants to do the course at that time. I was only comments on that one poster saying it was better then going to the pub.

OP says herself that she's ruled out a daytime class because she wants to see her mates.

Which is fine, everyone deserves a social life, but at least call a spade a spade and admit that you're going out socialising, not doing a nice, enriching study class twice a week.

Well generally education evening classes don't involve alcohol! And yes as someone in the evening class sector enrichment is exactly what they are .

I suspect if the UK had better state subsidised child care, more equal wages between men and women, more PT work that was professional, and equal taking up of paternity and maternity leave, there would be a lot less upset over a SAHM wanting a couple hours a week in the evening to see her friends. I’m also not particularly sanguine that childcare and domestics where both partners work full time is usually 50-50, but willing to be corrected on that.

OP hasn't said what her evening class involves, so I'm not sure how you can assume it's an "enrichment activity"

My mum goes to "book club" which, on paper, sounds very enriching, but in reality, it means she goes to the pub with her friends and talks about books while drinking wine once a month, lol.

Well she has to go whenever they are available 🤷‍♀️.

I disagree completely with an evening class being considered equal to the pub. It certainly wouldn't be compatible in my or my peer groups mind!

Of course they do. Pubs are often full at that time with people popping in for drinks after work, or before a meal or a film.

When I worked in retail and had to walk through town back to my car, the pubs were always heaving with workers.

You do realise OP says herself that she's only going in the evening so she can see her mates, right?

So no, it really isn't any different to going down the pub.

Does he do any hobbies during the week? Because on the face of it….
you have 6 hours a day to yourself, yes that involves housework, cooking, school runs etc but there must still be a lot of down time in there as well, and as most mums know just being able to do these chores without a child hanging off your legs is a win! Then you have 2 evenings a week to do your hobby.

he works all week, has the kids every evening (yes you are there two but presumably he helps with bedtime etc?) plus he does 80% of the housework at the weekend.

I can kind of see his point to be honest, doing dinner, bath, bed for 3 kids on your own twice a week would probably piss me off as well.

Actually, it is not unheard of. See here: https://pintofscience.co.uk

If they r at school and u rnt working, I could c his point.

No it's not. I suggest you really consider how you are equating an enrichment activity with drinking alcohol because that isn't normal.

Could you get a part time job?

Do people go to the pub from 6-8pm?

One of the main reasons for doing these courses is to meet up with friends, which rules out a daytime course.

Well, she's there mainly to socialise, she said. So, similar.

So what, she doesn't get to go when her friends or the course is available?

Jesus, there's nothing like other women that respect those who stay at home. Completely setting back feminism and equality generations.

The irony is you would be up in arms at what Andrew Tate says and yet ye are telling a woman to restrict her time to when it suits the husband 🤦‍♀️

Seriously comparing what could be an educational course of hobby to drinking alcohol in the pub, 😂😂😂😂

See that's the bit that would irritate me - because she's insisting that she can only go at these times because her friends will be there, but by making it a course not the pub she's made it harder to argue with / seem more worthy (and also less optional / flexibly timed). She's trying to have it both ways. If she'd said it had to be evening because that's the only time an appropriate course was on, I might agree it's not comparable to the pub, but she didn't, she said her friends would be there and she is doing it to socialise.

100%. There seems to be an attitude that women are somehow put upon and repressed while men should just get on with things in identical scenarios.

This husband clearly contributes significantly. He’s not standing back saying he won’t do housework. He’s saying it’s unreasonable for the OP to be out two nights a week when he is trying to work. And it is! They need money first and foremost to live and he is the only person bringing that in.

Why on earth not?

She's out socialising with her friends at evening class, he'd be socialising with his mates down the pub. Why is her choice of activity anymore worthy than someone choosing to go down the pub?

She isn't going to the pub so it's not comparable!

He’s home trying to finish his work as the sole earner. He now has to log on later because his wife who has 5-6 hours childfree time in the day wants to go out two evenings a week.

He also does some housework during the week even though he works late.

I sometime have to log on after putting kids to bed, it’s exhausting. If I was the sole earner and my OH wanted two nights a week to hang out with friends leaving me to log on later I’m be really annoyed.

It doesn’t sound the same.