Friend barely speaking at mealtimes on holiday?

You find silence at meal times difficult. She seems to find the endless chatter from you difficult.

You’re prioritising your own comfort over hers here.

It’s clear from the diversity of responses on here that there are many possible reasons why she’s not chatty at meals. It could be her upbringing, social battery, issues around eating, etc.
It’s making you uncomfortable and concerned about how the friendship is going so it might be worth opening up a conversation about it. Not over dinner 😀 but maybe while you’re doing an activity. Something like ‘I noticed you’re quiet at mealtimes and I’m just wondering if everything is ok, if you just prefer not to chat when you’re eating?’ Then at least you can guage what’s going on and like other posters have said, you can take a phone/book, plan alone-time etc.

I prefer to sit and enjoy my food when eating but that's me

OP, I think you need to stop making your friend the problem and direct your inquiries toward yourself.

Why did you shut down your friend's attempt to talk about a picture?

Were your own conversational topics of any interest to your friend?

Are you one of those people who always needs to fill the air with noise, with chatter, no matter how inane, or with background music/tv/radio/podcasts?

Are you uncomfortable with silence?

Are you able to sit quietly with your own thoughts?

Do you have any insight or curiosity as to why this is?

I agree with you when you go out for dinner with a friend as a one-off, but they're on holiday together 24/7. Wouldn't it be strange to be chatting non-stop for that long?! Night after night at a restaurant, day after day, staying together in the same room with no space?

This.

I would eat alone or at least excuse yourself once you have finished if it happens again.

I think her social battery is fully drained. Suggest you both have a day to go off and do your own things and meet up for dinner.

Honestly, if you’ve been together all day, what else do you have to talk about? I’d probably want to eat in silence too! When dh’s family comes to stay, we are entertaining them all day and by dinner, truly I have no more to say to them.

Having cared for someone with anorexia I can understand the comment by @Agix - even prior to eating, she might be experiencing very high levels of anxiety due to not knowing what the menu options might be - does she have an eating disorder? @CallyT That would also explain why she seems so shut down while eating and eating so slowly. Have you asked her or let her have an input on how, where, when and what you eat or does she also shut down during those conversations? It's a very very strange, complex and confusing illness seen very close up and the people suffering with it are very adept at hiding it in plain sight: it's the only thing I can think of based on what you've said.

So she finally had something to say - about the picture and you just kept trying to change the subject instead of hearing her out.
Do you often dominate your conversations? Do you assume your topics and interests are simply better than other people's?

Well no, there isnt anything 'to do' is there? Whats the need to try to 'fix' this person, and no one 'makes' anyone feel anything, that is on OP how she feels.

OP gave an example of the picture, its not fact to say she only spoke about the picture.

OP hasnt said she is like this the rest of the time, where is the acceptance and tolerance of how someone needs to eat, its really intrusive to want to change that.

How about you go on your phone? You’ve got the whole week with her and you’re having every meal together, maybe she just wants peace and quiet for a little while?

I wonder if you said something that was a deal breaker for her in terms of a friendship, you might well be oblivious to her what it was, and now she's just trying to get through the holiday and plans to let this friendship go.

If she is eating slowly and not wanting to talk, why don’t you just go in your phone for a bit. She’s clearly happy without making conversation so probably won’t find it rude. You could even say “I’m just going to check some emails” or “I really want to post some photos I took earlier today “. Given that she’s been chatty during the day she probably doesn’t have an issue with you or she would be quiet all the time.

Get a book. She obviously has very different meal time to you

I'm thinking anxiety or eating disorder, tbh. Especially if it only happens at meal times. I have similar and absolutely hate eating in public. The picture could be another clue- for example, when I'm feeling overwhelmed/anxious I often fixate my vision on something in the surrounding area. It's a method of grounding yourself that's encouraged for anxiety by psychologists, etc. When someone's in that state of mind, they're pretty much incapable of having any other thoughts other than what they're fixated on. It's like zoning out.

The friend barely makes eye contact, says a handful of words. And she only talks about one picture. There is a limit to how much you can say about one picture and it is fair enough for the OP to want to talk about something else instead after the picture discussion. If the friend has an issue or a problem, she needs to communicate that. Not make the OP feel awkward over dinner. The OP asked her friend if she was okay. I’m not sure what more she can do.

If you just met up now and then, yes to some degree, but OP says she isnt like this when she meets her at previous outings

The friend hasnt stayed silent, so you're posting on a false premise, she has responded to OP but OP hasnt felt it was enough, she has also tried to make conversation on at least one occasion but OP shut her down, we're not sure why that happened.

I live on my own, holiday on my own and this thread has confirmed the joys of solo travel for me.

OP, your friend is probably tired of being constantly “on” for your benefit, and it is for your benefit as when she chatted about a picture you insisted on trying to change the subject to what you wanted to talk about!

Do some things separately, give each other the time to go at your own pace for at least part of the holiday, become more comfortable with silence and do your friend the courtesy of engaging with her when she speaks about something that interests her.

You’re different people, don’t need to be joined at the hip and both want to relax and have a happy holiday, and still be friends at the end of it!

This board is crazy sometimes. It is really unusual behaviour to go out with a friend and sit in silence, however much time you have spent together. If the friend has issues where she wants to stay silent during a meal or she is feeling stressed or overwhelmed, the duty is on her to communicate that to a close friend.

I would find it so strange to go out for dinner and a friend stay silent. I would think something was wrong. I have never experienced that in my 50+ years. So many weird explanations on here and calling the OP intense just for expecting conversation.

@CallyT Maybe you've just run out of things to say to each other? It's totally natural and happens even in the closest of friendships. Sitting opposite each other in a restaurant can also be quite confronting whereas conversation comes more naturally sitting / walking side by side. Maybe save up some things to talk about until the restaurant, or could you get takeaway in your hotel room instead to give you both a break? Or suggest street food, walking around? Does it have to be formal eating every meal? That would exhaust me, even with my husband.

Oh ffs please stop.

I get where she’s coming from. On holiday with my DP, we often don’t talk much. Even with people you love you don’t always feel like conversation, especially when you’re together 24/7. I tend to find it easier to talk ‘about’ something e.g. an activity as you’re doing it, so I get that.
I do think her just saying, 'well, we have all week' sounds a bit socially inept. She could have made the effort to say with a smile that she was happy to have a lazy morning/would generally like to take things as they come. Although surely you could have said, ‘Ok, if you’d like to take it easy before this afternoon, I think I’ll go out and do X in the morning if that’s all right with you?’

Did she really keep going on about the picture? Or did you try to change the subject a bit soon/abruptly?

Poor woman.

You sound very intense. Why not do something separately tomorrow?

She tried to discuss a painting but you shut her down.

It is normal social behaviour when with a friend to chat during a meal. If she has not disclosed any disorder to you, and is silent and unresponsive, I would find this behaviour rude and would not repeat the experience.