To think friends might come away with me and the kids now I'm a single mum

The holidays with your kids will be really limited. Enjoy the time with just them.
I've taken mine away so many times on my own and it was a bit of a shock that my eldest left home at 16 to join the raf. Now we visit and he visits us but he doesn't want a holiday with us. His dad is now trying to take him to euro Disney in the summer. He doesn't want to go as he will be 18 with annual leave limitations and friends and a gf to spend time with. His dad is 10 years too late having not bothered to take them on holiday when they were little (he left when they were 2 and 4 and had never taken them on holiday.)
My point being you might only have time for 10 holidays with them. You will have better family memories if you go on your own.
The only person I would go out of my way for and scrape together money to take her toddler away is my sister. I wouldn't do it for a friend as I work really long hrs and when I'm on leave from work I have jobs to catch up on, I want to see friends or I want to relax.
You don't need your friends you will have better memories with the kids on your own. Otherwise the kids will play together and you will be chatting with the adults.
Just my opinion as someone who would love to take my children on a holiday just me and them.

Most people work insanely hard, and then get 4 weeks annual leave a year. On my rare annual leave, I just want to soak up and spend quality time with my own child, totally relax and not worry about social dynamics/niceities/ the children quarrelling, etc. this might play into it maybe?

I do see your points here, you’ve always accepted invites and hoped it would be reciprocated. Believe me I do understand.

i think you’d find more success in doing a weekend away renting a large house somewhere for one or two nights in this country. Going abroad or for longer than 1-2 nights starts to get difficult for others spending precious time away from their family unit. A week away it’s not just the money (which can be the main hurdling block for most), it’s the time and effort. Many only get 4-5 weeks off a year and most of that is childcare.

Sometimes I guess you have to try to bend if you want an overall result. Don’t feel bitter, you accepted and enjoyed previous events, now just alter your thinking, when the kids get older think about houses near say Alton Towers. Good luck.

No way I’d pay to go away on holiday with someone and their kids. Sorry not my thing at all.
Hopefully they are there for you in other ways but this is a big ask, time, money and patience.

I'm married, no kids and would absolutely consider holidaying with a single mum friend and her kids if I knew she felt that way.

You sound lovely. I’m amazed more people don’t holiday (abroad) with friends and their families - we have done it quite a few times and loved it. I would hope I would do the same as you if any of my close friends were widowed or became single. To assume single friends are going to steal your husband is mad, but I’m not the jealous/paranoid type.

Same. They should have just said no from the off.

YABU on the grounds that you want them there ‘because you’re a single mum’. That’s entitled in my opinion. With all due respect, your situation is not their fault or problem.

I do think I would be very picky on a big group friends holiday if I was to accept as well.

How much is it for something that’s not my choice of preferred holiday, how is it value for money compared to what I / my children like.

So say camping ok. Cheap and cheerful ish can cook all meal if you want and shop at a local aldi or Lidl or you can spend out on all meals every day your choice.

Where as again say a travel lodge in Blackpool hotel is already more than camping, but I don’t have to put up a tent. But all meals will have to be out now as zero cooking facilities. All day will be spent out basically spending or on the beach only as can’t do anything as tiny room.

No problemo! 🙂

@MiddleClassProblem Thanks, we missed that update.

She literally said anyone is welcome, even grandparents

Op did you ask them to join you solo and leave their family behind to hang out with your kids? Or did you ask them to bring their kids but not husbands? Or ask them to bring their family too?

That wasn’t entirely clear to me either @Unexpectedlysinglemum . If the OP is asking a friend/some friends to come on holiday without their own families, to keep her company, I think she does need to partially treat them, tbh.

I asked a friend to stay in a holiday cottage with us last year as I wanted to see her and we did cover her accommodation and most of her meals.

It's probably not that they don't want to it's just hard to fit it in, I'd rather use my precious time off work and holiday budget on family time, having friends join in on holidays changes the dynamic

A low cost weekend away like camping or a premier inn type thing in the U.K. which is addition to your normal holiday may be an easier ask than sharing their main holiday with you I think it is very tricky to balance everyone's needs with this sort of thing, quite unlike a hen weekend (which are usually disastrous according to Mumsnet)

I think YABU, sorry.

I'm a lone parent and I've taken DS away on my own since he was 2 years old. It's always been great. We've travelled to 4 different continents together.

How old are your kids OP?
Mine are 17 & 13 and are now good company on holiday and also I can elave them in the room or whereever if I want to go for a drink in the evening.

When they were smaller we would often holiday with friends - usually camping - but I would go with other single mums and their DC. I can't think of a time I've been on holiday with another 2 parent family.

People have limited holiday time so try not to be too upset.

Do you have any friends who are single parents? They might be more up for it.

Alternatively make your days busy and physically challenging so you are looking forward to an early night.

Hi OP. There are some lovely mum and children holidays around if you Google it. Perfect for people who want adult company but don't have a partner or friends willing to come.

Tricky. It depends how much leave they and their husbands get if they are working, do they use it to cover school holidays? Would this mean no family holiday? I probably would go for a long weekend rather than a full week assuming the kids get along. It is a different ask to a hen do or birthday as that is in celebration of something so I can see why it is viewed differently, especially if it has only been suggested because you are alone now. However I can also understand why you feel hurt. I don’t think anyone is being unreasonable

YABU, your expectations are too high for this stage of life I'm afraid.

Hen dos happen when you're all younger, with more energy and fewer responsibilities. There is really no comparison there. I have a friend who wanted an extravagant hen do recently as she had been on loads of other ones. But those hen dos were 5+ years ago. All those friends have babies and mortgages now and can't blow their holiday money and limited vacation on an expensive hen do.

I would absolutely not go on holiday with just my child, without DH or another relative, out of choice. Sorry, it sucks for you, but why would I purposely make my life harder when I don't need to?

I would be willing to go on a child free girls holiday but that's not what you are suggesting.

And if you include DHs, then they need to look at their work schedules etc. It becomes a scheduling problem. Basically, I think once people have kids, it takes a miracle for everyone to be available for a holiday all at the same time.

Have you ever done a trip just you and your kids? I've been a single mom most of her life and we travel often. Try it. You might really enjoy it.

I don't think that anyone has an obligation to go away with you, and I find you comparing it to going on a hen do is quite odd.

That said group holidays can be fun! I'd suggest somewhere where you can have your own "unit" whilst sharing days out etc is better than large houses. So individual caravans on a caravan site or farm cottages on a farm site, rather than one large rental property. No one takes responsibility for anyone else's children/family unit, you just choose to meet up for days out as people feel like it.

Not everyone is going to go on a group holiday, so open it up to whoever wants to go, and whoever wants to come along can. If you're waiting for everyone to agree on something, it'll simply never happen.

If you are the one who is most motivated, then you will need to be the one doing the heavy lifting when it comes to organisation and arrangements.

I would not go with a single mum friend and her children if I was alone, but I would take my family away with hers for sure. I have quite a few single friends and have often wondered if they would like that or not. They have never asked me though.

I wouldn’t go on holiday with someone else’s children. I just wouldn’t.

Annual leave is sacred, there’s not enough of it, and after a ‘holiday’ with kids, you need another holiday to recover. Doesn’t matter how ‘good’ the kids are - all children require hard work. It’s not a criticism of them or their parents - just that you are “always on.” That’s not relaxing to me.

If you could find childcare (kindly relative to take them in for the weekend), I’d happily do a short break though. That’s about as much as I’m prepared to do for friends!

I wouldn't want to holiday with someone else's children. The holiday is likely to be child focused, understandably and it just wouldn't work for me