Would you be disappointed if your teenage daughters wore barely any clothes posing on social media

It's a vile and repulsive trend, the look is normalised as a result of porn.

When I was a young woman I wanted to be perceived as sexy and attractive because society and culture taught me that's the way in which women are valued. Same with young women today, but unfortunately the mainstream view of what's perceived as sexy and attractive is now influenced by porn rather than 80s pop stars.

It's wrong to blame parents for this societal issue.

Fair enough!

These girls will graduate to Only Fans. Excellent! Everybody wins! Especially men in their 50s.

Do you have teenagers or children that are young adults, what kind of teenager were you - you sound like a compliant one. As far back as the 1950s films like Rebel without a Cause explored the conflict that exists between generations. Shocker - young adults don't always do what Mummy and Daddy would like and that's a very healthy part of growing up and fleeing the nest.

I was disappointed. I pointed out that online is for ever and they should be more circumspect. I made them take anything dodgy down.
I was accused of slutshaming. I put my foot down. I was a horrible mother/stepmother. I stuck to my guns.
As each of them left uni and went into the world they understood that it wasn't them; it's the world, and I was keeping them safe.
4 down, 1 to go.

I am one of those parents who fought very hard to stop my daughter from putting these types of photos on Instagram. Societal pressures mean, you give your child a phone to fit in. That child then sets up social media without your permission, you delete it all and you check the phone religiously, she sets it up on a friend's phone so you can't see, you then lose all control, so you agree to social media on her phone so you can monitor it. Mostly it's good but she slips up now and again with those sorts of photos, she was hell bent on doing this and said everyone was doing it. Yes, I could have taken her phone, I often confiscated it for a week if there was an infringement but if I'd have taken it completely, I am not sure where the rebellion would have ended. Those of you who say you are the parent, remove the phone, either have children too young or you have a child like my youngest who is not bothered at all by doing this.
It's not all crap parenting. My younger child wouldn't dream of it at 15.

It's makes me grateful I don't have daughters, if that is what they aspire to.. half naked sexual poses giving the old letches what they want and showing the next generation of young men that women are objects to perv over.

Parents need to stop putting their kid's photos on social media in the first place.

Regardless of how much clothing the teenagers are wearing, their parents have taught them that 'likes', 'love hearts' and 'Gawjuss hun' comments are important.

If they feel they need to remove clothing to get more likes than the next person, they'll probably do it.

It's so normal now and no one calls it out. I would it was my dd gently of course. My sil is in her 40's and has always been like this. On FB this week it's a picture of her in skimpy underwear kneeling with her legs apart on her bed. I don't want to see my sil posing like Christine McGuinnes in her undies. I know its wrong but I just see her more and more as a airhead with each one. She has even posted pictures of her and bil in bed with no clothes on all sweaty presumably after sex. It's nasty. I need to bleach my brain. I keep on silencing her. It's like seeing your mum or best friend uninvited getting sexy. I don't want to see it. But unfortunately FB and insta etc are a cess pit and people buy into it. Not sure what validation she is after. I keep getting tempted to post "cracking tits sis" 😄

Alternatively

These are young women who now the freedom and control to make the choices they wish and trying to tell them they're insulting the women who came before is just insulting in itself

Each generation of women have rebelled against the "standards" of the last. The mini skirt for example

What a judgey and small minded attitude

Plenty of people in the beauty industry have a good work ethic and ambition

I'd be more concerned if my daughter did this. I wouldn't want her to be attracting thousands of men looking at her body.
But yes, in general, I find it disappointing that so many young girls and women do this. I feel like we're going backwards in some respects. Women should be valued and respected for their minds, their contributions to society - not their tits and arses.

Decades of feminists have made real sacrifices in the hope that the generations of women that follow would have a better life. This generation seems to want to throw that all away just so people can click on the like button.

So you believe young women can't make their own choices?

They're adults for a start

And you are being VERY judgey tbh

Talking about how they were bright, driven, high achievers like by posing online they've suddenly become ditzy and unambitious. To do well online as a "creator" you have to have some ambition. And just because someone is "posing in their undies" doesn't mean they are thick. That's a disgusting stereotype

No, not all teenage girls are doing this. Yes, you can encourage your daughter to have a positive self-image which isn't based off what others think. But that may well involve her choosing to pose online.

I believe women should be able to wear what they like, yes

But I also believe that we don't make these choices in a vacuum. IMHO, many girls and young women wear revealing clothes not cos they really want to, but because men tell them it's attractive (cos men want to stare at them.....)

Wearing skimpy clothes doesn't make a woman stupid or lacking in ambition, any more than it means she is 'asking for it'. Clothes are clothes.

“I’m not being judgemental but…” is being judgemental! That is what I teach my teenage girls, and I’ve also taught them they can wear whatever they please. Surely we’ve moved on from this crap? And what does the fact that they are “gorgeous” girls have to do with anything?

You said they are 19/20. They are adult women, they can do what they please.

I’d be disappointed in myself as a parent not to have instilled a better work ethic and ambition to do things that have nothing to do with beauty or looks in my daughters

I would guess she knows if she says anything she gets blocked and then she has no idea what they're up to.

When they're 18 and over there's not much you can do or say without sounding judgy and even hurtful.

Not all 18 year olds but they do wear very little going out.so it's not surprising it's on their socials.

My dd and her friends wear a lot more now going out, even full length skirts and coats, in their early twenties than when they were 18/19.

Most under 18s have phones with internet access. You'd be a strict and out of touch parent indeed to prevent your teenager from having a phone.
Many teenagers have weekend jobs and can buy their own clothes. Again, not poor parenting.
Internet access + skimpy (fashionable) clothing + enormous amounts of societal pressure can lead to poor choices by teenagers.
As parents we can advise but, the older our kids get, the less we can enforce.
Let's stop blaming parents for everything. It can be a bloody hard world to navigate, for us and for our kids.

There is something a bit weird and judgy about your tone. There are all kinds of ways in which our kids can not turn out the way we expect. There are loads of reasons why high achieving school kids might not turn into high achieving adults. Our young adult kids could be all kinds of things we wouldn't choose for them - depressed, anxious, abusive, addicted, overworked, lonely. We can't protect them from pain and we have increasingly little influence over their choices as they get older.

We don't get to choose how our kids turn out. Some of their life choices are down to our parenting, many are not. Parading on the internet in scanty clothes is not great - but there are lots of things they could be doing that would be worse.

I wonder if you are trying to reassure yourself this can't happen to your child? Because she almost certainly will make decisions you disapprove of, and if she didn't, that could be a sign she was still dependent on your approval, which would not be healthy. Parenting young adults is really hard, but I'm sure you'll adapt, be there for her and support her, even if it doesn't turn out quite as you hoped.

Banning page 3 was absolutely the right thing to do. Petra 18, was just as likely to be Sam 16, or even 15 stripping off her school uniform with a count down to the 'big reveal' on her 16th birthday. It was also fully accessible to anyone who chose a tabloid, in trains, in the office, on coffee tables, completely normalised. There was no way of knowing then that if we cut off this particular form of sexual exploitation of school girls, like hydra, more and more would appear in its place.

Do you think topless teenagers belong in newspapers?