Staying with him after he sexted another woman

You do realise people can lie?

Stop buying into his bullshit, you’re just embarrassing yourself. He hasn’t allowed you to meet her because he’s still sleeping with her, or at least he’s still keeping her on a hook, reeling her in when he’s bored.. it’s nothing to do with her so called mental illness (if that’s even real 🙄) and even if it was, he’s telling you he’s taking advantage of a woman so very mentally ill, she couldn’t cope with meeting, or even knowing about the existence of, a girlfriend of his. Get a grip, find your self respect and move on ffs.

this was exactly my thought

Time to pick up your self respect and get rid of him. He won't change, and you'll be a right mug if you stay with him.

Looking at your previous threads, you met this "man" at a very emotional time of your life, when you were already overwhelmed with the emotion of having your baby. It strikes me that you were - and still are - extremely vulnerable. This person that you're seeing is not the sort of man you will build a life with, nor is he the type of person you'd want around your child - particularly as they grow older and become more aware of things. I don't doubt you feel strongly for him, but this is not the person for you and it'll only end in heartbreak. Focus on yourself and your own little family unit - that's way more important than this absolute idiot.

@OhWomanOhMan, you’re in denial but you’ve been warned. You’ve seen the proof that this seedy guy is not loyal or monogamous. He enjoys playing games with women’s feelings, steals their agency/consent, and lies to get his jollies. I wouldn’t be able to look at his conniving face again, and I certainly wouldn’t allow him to be anywhere near my child.

Wake up and bin him.

I really think that If you said it was sometime he knew but wasn't an ex that this could be resolved. I do believe some people deserve a second chance, but if they do the same again it's goodbye.
I personally couldn't do it.
However, with it being an ex, he went back again for a reason, I think that is not good 😢

"He says she's mentally unwell" is just a more elaborate "crazy ex" line. He's a cheat, he's pushing boundaries for what you'll tolerate, and putting the responsibility on her. It'll only get worse.

Whatever we say you are going to believe him, because you want to, whatever we say you are going to stay with him because you want to,
Good luck you're going to need it

If you've never met her, you only have his sayso on the mental health side. It's highly likely he's telling you a pack of lies, which is why he doesn't want you to meet.
Why do you believe what he says, yet ignore what he does? Have you tried to varify his situation? Have you been to where he lives even? She could even think they are still together as far as she knows.
He's saying he sees you as long term - so not married, not forever then? His ex was most likely longer term than you given that they have a DC - but that was just sex - I call BS on that. You sound quite naive to just swallow the BS he feeds you.

You are NOT stupid. But you are perhaps too trusting. That's fine when you're dealing with truthful people; but this man is a liar who will tell you whatever he needs to to keep you on-board. He will lie to you to ensure you still have sex with him, he will lie to you to keep you taking care of his child - he will lie to you for his own convenience.

And as for protecting you from his "mentally unwell" ex - no. He's protecting himself from you hearing her side of the story. Which it is very much in your interest to hear.

'He said he's never get with her..'

How does that make any sense when he already has 'got with her' as they have a child together!

It's very easy to have it off with her as he already has, many, many times before!

Riiiiight. OP, you sound very trusting and rather naive. Unless she’s got a restraining order on her, this is absolute bullshit. What mental illness allows her to wander around freely and care for her child, but be risky for you to meet her? You’re not allowed to meet her because she’ll tell you some truths.

These are all of the things men say when they are caught trying to shag someone who isn’t their girlfriend / fiancée / wife. If all this were true, he wouldn’t have been trying it on with her. The reality is that he’s worried he’ll end up with nobody because he’s undeserving of you so now you are suddenly amazing again.

'he’s not allowed me to meet her though, due to her mental illness.'

But he's fine with his child being raised by her?!

I bet there's nothing wrong with her!

Life is so short and precious. Post like this just depress me. What an absolute waste of life.

@OhWomanOhMan, this guy enjoys duping and using women, including you. How did you discover the sexting?

He is a sleazy, self-serving pig who admits leading on his Ex for gratification under false pretenses, including withholding the fact that he is still with you. If he was truly ’smitten’ with you, he’d have never pursued and used her for cheap sexual thrills. Her being potentially mentally unwell makes his despicable behavior even worse.

His claiming that Ex now wants to break you up is rich, as he is the cheater who made moves to trash you and your relationship. And claiming to ‘have no idea why’ is laughable and insulting. Are you actually buying that guff?

@OhWomanOhMan, you’ve previously written about your little DD whom you adore. I too have a precious daughter, and I would never expose her to such a sneaky, sordid, untrustworthy man of low integrity.

Stay with him at your own peril. He will cheat again. My advice is to end things asap.

Oh good grief.

The mentally unwell ex that he's been sexting who thought he was single, apparently wanted him to break up with the girlfriend she knew nothing about

Yeah. He's besotted with you isn't he. And not just taking advantage of the fact you're clearly easily manipulated and naive. No. He's certainly not a scumbag who can spot a soft touch a mile off.

Carry on, it sounds delightful. But maybe pop yourself to the GUM clinic as I bet lots of nasty evil mentally ill exes have jumped on his cock and given your darling man a nasty dose of something because he was so busy being besotted with you he couldn't stop them. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

That sounds convenient 🤨🚩

As others have said it is your choice to take him back but let's be real do you really think he wouldn't do anything ever again? Give yourself more respect than that and if you take him back more fool you, but sounds like you have made your mind up. It is 18 months not 18 years 🤨 Trash took itself out, don't bring it back in...

He must have their daughter full time then, yes? Given the mother is mentally unwell. Surely no parent wants their child to be brought up by someone mentally unstable?

If he's besotted with you, why would he be sexting another woman? You've only been together 18 months and he's already done this behind your back! If you stay with him, you'll get more of the same OP. But if you want to fool yourself that he's madly in love with you, I'm not sure anyone here can say anything to change your mind 🤷‍♀️

Oh for goodness sake a man who loves you wouldn't be sexting another women don't be deluded by his crap seriously next he will say oh my boxers fell down and I accidentally had sex with someone else

No decent man would do this

So you enjoy sex with him, don't want to have sex with anyone else. Are you sexting anyone else? No. Because that's bollocks. He's keeping his options open. He's probably promised her all sorts of crap and come out with the "my ex is mentally ill" if she says anything to you.