Would you make space for a family with a disabled child on a train?

I would have given up my seat/space for you, but having been in your position I probably do notice more than others. My DSis is in a wheelchair now, but as a child was in the larger buggies for some time. It did get to a point where it was so much bigger than a normal buggy, and she behaved like a 6 month old, even though she was big, so it was really obvious, but unfortunately some people just see a large child in a buggy and assume you're just a lazy parent who can't be bothered to make their children walk!

My DM wouldn't have had any qualms about asking people to move (she always has been a bit outspoken!), so do try and get a few token phrases to hand (if you don't ask for assistance):

"Excuse me, I need to use the wheelchair space please"

You may come across some arseholes that will demand some sort of medical proof before giving up their precious space, so come up with a phrase that will embarrass them and make them move:

Loudly: "You really want to know the details of the disability that has left my child in a wheelchair??"

Don't call it a pushchair

"At what age does a pushchair become a wheelchair, because he's going to be in this for life."

I was on the tube once when a man got on with his toddler in a pushchair. He put the chair in the space it was supposed to go and it was facing some seats where people were sat. The little boy made eye contact with the man in front of him, pointed and said "Daddy seat" 😂 The Dad was mortified and was trying to say "no, honestly, it's fine", but the guy just apologised to the kid, laughed, stood up and let dad sit down, much to the amusement of everyone else around them!

You can also get a “please offer me a seat” badge from TFL though I don’t know if they would send it out of London.

on not knowing who is disabled, I would never target an individual for their seat but you can just say to the world in general “sorry, is there someone who would mind giving up their seat for my son”

i definitely think you are right OP and it’s because people didn’t realise. It’s a completely different situation but when I was pregnant but people would leap up on the tube when I wore my ‘baby on board’ badge but I would often have to ask for a seat if I forgot to wear it (and people were invariably lovely when I did ask).

If im perfectly honest i dont think i would clock its a disability pushchair especially if there wasn't a child actually sat in it and they had walked on and off the train holding a hand, as at face value it's a similar level of need to lots of young children who tire walking long distances.
If people are distracted mulling over something stressful at work, listening to music etc in this situation they just aren't going to notice especially if the pushchair is empty.

So the child that has the disability was safely in the SN buggy but it was you who didn’t have a seat? It wouldn’t have occurred to me to move in that instance, no.

I opened the thread and thought maybe it was the child who had a disability and people weren’t getting up and offering their seat to them, now that I would obviously do.

I actually have two children with different disabilities and don’t expect anyone to offer me a seat. As long as the people with disabilities are safely seated, I don’t expect anyone to do anything for me. Why would I?

I've had seats "reserved" for me when using assistance. Except they haven't actually been reserved - they're still showing as available when you look on the screen above the seat

AIBU to think that most people would see a disability pushchair with a child who is around 6-7 and realise the child is disabled? So if they don't make space for you on a train it's not because they haven't realised?

Depending on the look of the chair, I'm not sure people necessarily would. DD has a friend who has a sister who uses a pushchair with a "please treat my pushchair as a wheelchair" sign and while it is adapted, it doesn't look really any different. Could easily just be a brand of pushchair. She is young though, only 4.
I think there are people who wouldn't really be aware, particularly if not really paying attention.

I would move absolutely. Some ppl are just clueless though and don't even notice . I am sure if you asked the vast majority of people they would be only too happy to help . I like to think so anyway .

Op you need to book journeycare before you travel, this will reserve the disabled space on the train, staff are then aware of you and your journey and staff help you get on and off the train via a ramp, they know what coach you are on ect

Sorry you had a bad experience. I would absolutely have moved for you. I think a big part of the problem is that the trains are so poorly designed in the UK and there isn't enough space for everyone or their luggage. I'm overseas and don't have this problem at all, even in rush hour - trains have 2 levels. In this instance I would have asked someone to move. Often people are so absorbed in their phones they are oblivious to everyone around them.
I paid £90 for a return train ticket from London to Cardiff recently. I was travelling with my 3yo & 2 suitcases. We walked the length of the platform looking for an empty seat and gave up and just got onto the last carriage. Managed to fit suitcases on but still no suits for 2 together. Ordinarily I book seats but my flight was delayed into Heathrow so I had to get a later train. I just complained very loudly how wrap the trains are and how there weren't any seats together and a young lady kindly gave up her seat in the priority seats so we could sit together. The problem is there are lots of people travelling alone with bags on seats not wanting anyone to sit down.
There's space for wheelchairs on trains (and rightly so) and there's space for bikes but there isn't any space for prams. When DS was younger every time we took the train we were told to leave the pram in the bike compartment (often no room) and so just had to stand the whole way for a 2hr journey. It's all completely rubbish.

There are luggage racks on the EMR London trains both in and just outside first class?

I've been massively pregnant on a train in Birmingham and nobody offered me a seat.
Majority of people are selfish, only occasionally you meet someone polite and thoughtful.

It's different for each rail company, unfortunately. You have to see what is available for your local one.

I’m not 100% sure I’d recognise your pushchair, or think about you needing to be with the rest of your family for assistance reasons. I’d definitely move if you asked me to though.

I think if you are clear what you want and ask, then most people are more than happy to help. But you cant vaguely look in someone's general direction and expect them to analyse your needs and respond accordingly

YANBU...a wheelchair should take place over anything else in a spot allocated for a wheelchair.

Difficult one. If you're travelling off peak then I think 99% of the time people will move. Similarly, if you're travelling during peak times and want to sit in the disabled area, most people will move (or the guard will ask them to).

If though you are travelling at peak times and want to sit in an area not demarcated for disabled travellers, more often than not people will be quite mercenary not just to disabled passengers but to the elderly and families with children too. Trains are already overcrowded on these peak journeys so often I notice during school holidays that people who don't have to travel at these peak times aren't made to feel very welcome.

And my work assume I am able to work on the train if they pay for first class, which might be a reasonable assumption in a functioning system!

I have clocked wheelchair-pushchairs before (it's pretty obvious to me, especially when they're motorised/assisted engineering) and of course do the necessary, well aware that the few minutes I see are a snapshot of what's an easy life for me but a difficult one for the user and their parents.

That said, what exactly were you looking for last week? I'm not familiar with UK trains, so I'd like to know if I'm doing something thoughtless where I live without even realising. Do you mean there are sections of the carriage without seats or luggage racks that are labeled for wheelchair users, but people had been using them to stand/out their luggage - and then you wanted that space vacated when you boarded the train? If so, if I'd been standing there myself I wouldn't have hesitated to move if I were standing in that spot, and make my DC do the same. If my luggage were there, tbh I'd have done the mental calculation of where I could move my luggage to, and maybe the wheelchair-pushchair would be better off sticking out in the gangway than my luggage piled precariously above someone's head or something? I don't know what I would have done, truthfully.

While I'm here, I've always second-guessed myself about offering the parent of a wheelchair-bound child my seat. Is it insulting? What if they need to be near the child? Are they exhausted after a day of traveling on public transport with a wheelchair, or is it not that bad and they don't mind? I really am clueless, and could do with some education (please and thank you!).

@Brefugee sounds like we catch the same trains! Luckily it's not often a problem but over half of the times I travel the train only has half the carriages and so even if you reserve a seat, you don't get one....

What pass is this? The one I have means I can get a discount and so can someone traveling with me

You can’t tell people to move you can ask but you dont know their circumstances

Train travel is so ghastly these days. I can't stand and use a walking stick, but don't qualify for their disabled pass (have you tried that? It means you can travel as a carer for free and should get priority seats). GWR say they only accept letters from DWP or your GP, and my GP refused because GWR should accept the clinic letters. I gave up in the end.

Anyway, I now just travel first class. It's shit frankly but I can't sit in the aisles any more.