To be worried about son's friend?

27 replies

dani9223 · 04/11/2024 12:08

My son aged 8 has a good friend from school, lets call him Tom (not his real name).
Tom comes over to play at ours a couple of times a week and is a really nice boy, very good manners and always respectful. My concern is that, each time Tom comes, he makes a beeline to the kitchen and asks for something to eat. Tells me he's hungry every time he comes to our house. As he's such a sweet and nice boy who never forgets his manners, I don't mind feeding him. I'd never see a child go hungry but I'm just concerned that he's always hungry when he comes to ours. I don't really know his mum well enough to say anything. Do I mention it to school or anything?

OP posts:

holju · 04/11/2024 12:17

Is this going to be a drip feed where there are other signs of neglect? I think it would be very odd to contact the school over a child having a big appetite. Also, I wouldn't be feeding a kid this young without checking with his mum if he had any allergies etc.

Arlanymor · 04/11/2024 12:17

If it’s at more or less the same time of day each time then it just sounds like he’s a growing boy and it’s his routine - i.e. straight after school. But if it’s at differing times of the day/week then I would mention it to his mum, I don’t think there should be a barrier because you’re not a friend of hers. You could frame it by saying: “Tom tends to say he is hungry when he visits us to play, I’m just checking with you that you’re happy for us to feed him and are there any foods to avoid…” that opens up the conversation. Also I would worry a bit about allergies/food restrictions these days and would want to make sure I wasn’t feeding him anything I shouldn’t. I think you should speak to the mum instead of the school first as feels a bit like going behind her back if you could just contact the mum. Also you haven’t said if he’s looking very tired or underweight which is a different thing as well.

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