To not get the whole ‘I can’t wait to be a grandparent’ thing

No pressure then? JFC. The 1950's are calling you 🙄

Yes I'd like to be one but only if it's the right decision for my children. If it's the wrong decision It's a life sentence.. why would I want that for them? Having said that I know both of mine (mid/late 20's) say they want kids so we'll see.

Having experienced pressure to have dcs from my mother, I never put any in my dcs. I hadn't really given a thought to whether I wanted to be a gp, until the point where one of my dcs told me that a baby was on the way. At that point, I realised it was something I was really looking forward to. And when dgc1 arrived - I cannot describe the feeling other than to say it was like being hit by a truck. The sheer and complete feeling of love was so unexpected and overwhelming and wonderful.

Some people's whole life is children so they put that on to their own children it's sad and such a small narrow view of the world but they must be happy with it

@Hedjwitch That does sound tedious with your friends.
If I become a Grandma, I have every intention of setting firm babysitting boundaries!

Having to be labelled as somebody's something again.

Have you resigned from being a mother?

@BruFord
Being expected to look after it and gush over it. Losing my hard won free time again.
The titles of granny/nanny etc sound so old.
Having to be labelled as somebody's something again.
Being called selfish for all of the above!

My two best friends are now grandmothers. They used to be fun,interesting people to be with. Now they just whip out their phones to show me endless photos of their bloody grandkids!

I don’t want to be a Grandma. I absolutely adore my children and would adore any children that they produced, I just hope that they don’t.
I see my friends with their grandchildren and it’s just not a role I want to play.

Because family isnt everything to a lot of people?
i have nothing in common with my family except blood. Never fallen out with any of them but i dont want to hang out with them!
my brothers have children, my parents dont do any childcare for them except in a couple of emergency situations.

i’m close to my mum but she’s glad i dont want children. Family isnt everything, i prefer friends on the whole.

Tbh, human existence has never been easy except for the healthy and wealthy. A few decades ago, a Mum with PND could be locked up or drugged up on Valium: ND children were considered an embarrassment and hidden away.

I’d rather be alive now than 100 years ago.

Exactly. I just put a post like this. Anyone would think all children are born healthy, well and disability free.
People mean they want grandchildren who are born without any of the above, otherwise it's very stressful.

Tell her you'll stop.going round if she dosent stop it lol.
There's more to life than having children.

my child’s mil is putting pressure on them to reproduce and I find it a bit greedy and insensitive too, what if they can’t have kids?

I don't agree it is weird to not want grandkids. My DD could die during childbirth, she could suffer from PND, the kids themselves could have mental or physical health problems. The world is a dangerous place, especially for women then there's climate change and a COL crisis that doesn't seem to be going anywhere. Any grandkids will just suffer in varying ways for a few decades then die. Why would I want that? To not exist is to not suffer.

More people, more problems, more stress and don't forget not everyone is born healthy and well.

When ppl say they ate looking forward to be a grandparent they are assuming that the baby will be born healthy and well.

I have seen such beautiful relationships between grandparents and grandchildren, and I would like that for myself one day. If it doesn’t happen though, that’s fair enough, it’s ultimately up to my DC. But I don’t think it’s weird to enjoy the thought. I think it’s more weird not to enjoy the thought of your family expanding and all the potential joy of that!

I feel like this. Son’s gf is currently pregnant. When he told me they’d chosen names something in me shifted and I thought I love the baby x

I also would more than willingly babysit whilst they work, want time away, evening out, even go shopping.

I didn't have that with my dm , altho my df is great at all the above.

I can't wait . But have never told my adult dc that.
To be able to , if they want of course, to have childcare on tap, help when they need or want it. Be able to share my love with grandchildren, many reasons

Two of my sisters have become grandparents in the last few years and both have now unquestioningly taken on caring duties for the baby/toddler one or two days a week while their DDs work and I have been a bit horrified at the prospect that this might be coming my way. Because I’m really not interested in doing that baby phase thing again.

Fortunately, my two haven’t got a maternal bone in their body, but I feel I might need to be open with them that I really REALLY won’t be doing childminding while they go out to work.

this

It's not a popular opinion on mumsnet but I love being a Mum most of the time. Yes it's really hard sometimes but it's also amazing.

I would love to be a Granny one day too. It's lovely seeing kids grow and become their own people - hugely meaningful and rewarding.

I've also had hard times as 3 of my kids have health problems, but the good times make up for the bad. For me, looking forward to hopefully being a Granny one day, outweighs the sadness of getting older.

@Hedjwitch Why would you dread it? Genuinely curious. How would it affect you?

So having an important career that helps people isn’t meaningful? Being a good friend and person and helping those when they need you isn’t purposeful?

According to you, I live a consumer frivolous life that has no purpose. I guess you don’t think I deserve to exist.
Thank god I have a wonderful family and friends who couldn’t care less that I have no intention to breed.

I’m really quite taken aback by your comment.

Exactly you live for yourself and for hopefully to enjoy your life etc.
It's hard to understand why people want so many children all the time.
Life is bloody hard at times.