Top Unis - am I missing something?

Another (expensive!) option OP, would be to look at the Dual BA programmes between Sci Po and Colombia. The course we looked at a few years ago was much broader than most UK degrees, but there is a Politics strand. You spend the first two years in France. I think the options were Menton (!) for a Middle Eastern politics / history focus, Poitiers for another regional focus... I can't remember exactly, but there are 4 campuses around France depending on which global region you focus on. They also have to do a language course, depending on focus. But the course is much broader than degrees here and they earn credits towards their yearly grades by doing things like art classes - there is scheduled time for this. It's much more balanced. Then, in the final two years, they choose their 'major' and go to Colombia uni for that. Have a look - it's expensive but I don't think many people pay full fees.

It sounds to me like she's tired of studying so hard and wants a break. She wants to enjoy university, let her hair down and start living a bit after all the years at school working so hard.

In which case, she is right that Cambridge or Oxford would not suit her. Durham probably wouldn't either.

My personal feeling is that you believe she has to go to these outstanding universities so she can succeed in life and this is the message you are giving her, which is putting the pressure on

Maybe she'd just be happy at a mid-level uni, where she has no pressure and can have fun!

I loved my middle of the road campus uni and am very pleased I turned down Durham. I got a chance to breathe, enjoy life and figure out who I was and what I wanted, away from home.

A couple of years after university I completed an MSc at a well known red brick, and went on to take a research post at Cambridge. I also subsequently obtained a doctorate. My undergrad, non pretentious, relaxed, caring, fun university was by far my favourite place and ironically, the teaching there far exceeded the offer at Cambridge (bar the one to one tutor groups they have) or where I completed my MSc.

Oxbridge is incredible for some, but my experience working at Cambridge was that many (there are obvious exceptions) people there are just normal people with privilege and not necessarily that bright. There are however, some very bright people at every university, even the old poly's you know!

In my opinion, good GCSE and A level grades don't make you bright. A good grade often just reflects hard work and sometimes privilege through tutors, private school etc...

Some very bright people get poor grades.

On my doctorate programme the student who had 4 A*s at A level really struggled. I got poor grades at A level but I have a high IQ (mensa level) and found it all very easy! Grades don't always dictate who is naturally smarter!

She's young, encourage her to go somewhere she can relax, have fun and figure her future out by herself! If she is genuinely smart, life will all work itself out!

You also might want to support her to work on her confidence a bit before she heads to uni.

But 5+ hours from the OPs home.
Lots of kids don't want to be quite so far away, many do want the option of being able to get home for the odd weekend. It's entirely normal and understandable. Many of DDs school friends didn't look south of Birmingham....plenty of good unis from there up, plenty from there down.

Is Edinburgh really that sought after? The only kids I know that went there were really unhappy.

I'm a bit confused by your post. You've listed and rejected a lot of top rated universities based on distance or they aren't good enough. The aren't good enoughs are very good and I would be surprised if the entry requirements were much less than what your daughter is going to get, all be it course dependent. It seems you want another Oxbridge but one that will take your daughter on her grades, which are fantastic, but possibly not Oxbridge grades.

edited as I thought you had ruled out Oxbridge due to grades but reread and realised you hadn't. Apologies

She really does need to consider the London universities. Queen Mary University of London - Politics and International Relations degree? The campus is great and the accommodation very good. They're a Russell Group uni too.

She sounds as though she's got a bit of growing up to do and improving her confidence. Excessive studying is one thing, but not to the exclusion of socialising and being more independent. Maybe she should consider a gap year to get her off her self-imposed treadmill of studying and academic achievements.

Tbh I agree Op. I would have hated uni in London, definitely wanted a campus /smaller feel.

I would probably have ended up at Bristol, if I hadn’t bagged a place at my first choice uni. Location and feeling about a place are really important. I wouldn’t have gone too far from my mum, I just liked knowing I could get home if I needed to. I was a young 18 year old in many ways, and I did experience homesickness at uni

I went to uni without a car and I found coaches really helpful - a cheaper way to get home for a weekend if I needed to, I would study on the coach and dad would pick me up from from coach station.

Honestly while your dd thinks now that she will need to escape home for weekends, once she is immersed in uni life she probably won’t need to rely on that as often as she thinks (unless there’s more going on behind the scenes we don’t know about).

I would look at coach and train routes and prices to various further-afield universities and see if any of them appear feasible.

Durham Uni is only 2.5 hours from London on the train! Add an extra 20 mins to get to Newcastle Uni and another hour for Edinburgh. All fantastic universities in brilliant university cities.

Yes.

I was a natural at A levels etc. I didn't like Oxbridge and they didn't like me, and I got A* equivalent grades and went to Sheffield.

I didn't have any drive because I always had it easy, and my parents had kept too tight a rein on me, so I focused on having fun!

I don't regret it, but there's definitely merit in having worked hard for your grades.

Although in practice finding a decent placement is incredibly difficult.

My son is at UCL and his halls are in Bloomsbury, 10 minute walk. I walked further than that from my halls in my campus university.

I’m not sure the commute is as bad as you’re thinking. I went to UCL and many of the halls are within walking distance of lecture halls. I happened to be further away (in Camden) but it was only a short bus ride and it was very collegiate with everyone going in together.

Even if she attended Cambridge she could end up at a college which required a commute (Girton for example) and all require some commute of a similar length to the UCL one. I can’t speak to LSE though.

Any of the top ten universities (or even top 15) are excellent universities. There's very little between them after you carve off Oxford and Cambridge.

DS is doing International Relations and History (also did politics in year 1) at Lancaster. He has 3 x A Stars at A Level in History, English Literature and Economics plus Core Maths and EPQ. He is having the time of his life, full campus university, great social life, no accommodation problems, cheap to live and is really engaged with the subject and the module choice (currently loving Chinese international relations).

Also, all that reading and the top-notch work experience are necessary for her Cambridge application… the fact that it may be surplus to the requirements of places like Bath and Warwick is a) debatable and b) not important even if true.

I say it’s debatable that her reading and her work experience were of no help with her Warwick/Bath applications because surely, if she was well advised, she leveraged reading and work experience quite heavily in her personal statement…

I say it’s not important even if true because you either apply to Oxbridge and throw everything at it (reading, work experience), or you don’t bother and aim just for all your other choices.

And yes I know several kids of friends who all got top grades- one went to Exeter, one is at UCL and the other went to Bath.

You're missing the fact that Oxford and Cambridge don't have enough spaces for all the kids with very high grades. So there are plenty of very high grade kids at the other universities.

I replied on the wrong account woops

I agree but I'm talking internships after 1 year of uni as the first opportunity to get that relevant experience. Then that relevant experience will be preferred over no experience

I’m not really sure what you’re asking TBH.

If you live in the SE she has her pick of great unis, it’s not like you’re in Shetland or somewhere? I assume she’s trying for Oxbridge but yes, it’s on her to work out a plan B if that doesn’t work out. If what she wants doesn’t exist (and it sounds like what you want is Durham but in Dorking) then she needs to think about her priorities. She, not you. And then work out a plan.

If she chooses one of the good Russell group unis the likelihood is that she’ll find loads of extremely bright people with excellent exam results there- I got 4 As 20 years ago and went to Bristol. It had an excellent reputation for the course I wanted and I loved it. Just look at the entry requirements for her course- I bet they will all be AAB or equivalent. There are literally thousands of people in her position.

If she wants politics though she’d be mad to dismiss the London unis.

I think you need to manage your expectations OP.

I have 2 nephews, one got 3 Astars and the other got 4 A stars, both with top GCSE grades both applied to Oxbridge were interviewed but were unsuccessful.

Both are very happy at their Universities of choice.

Another nephew got in with only 3 A's (the horror)

You are making out that Oxbridge is the only suitable option for highly intelligent people, it is not.

You are setting yourself and your daughter up for massive disappointment if she doesn't get through the process.

My own DS also unsuccessfully applied to Oxford. He is now at UCL and very happy he is there.

I agree. DS1 is in is 2nd year at Durham and jokes that it is full of Oxbridge rejects, so he feels he fits in well. He didn't go to private school and although some of his peers did, there are many from state schools too.

He thinks he's having a better time than he would have had at Cambridge as he has time for a social life too.

For Maths, which DS1 is doing, Cambridge interview 5 people for 1 place, all of whom have top predicted grades. So being predicted 4 A stars and a good reference/personal statement is only the start.

There's then the interview to get through. And if you get past that for Maths, the STEP exams filter out about 50% with offers following interview.

DS2 is giving it a go as he really wants to go to Cambridge, more than DS1 did it seems. But he accepts the reality that he might not make it, even though he works so hard and according to his (state) 6th form teachers is academically brilliant.

Am I missing something? Yes. You are missing the big picture which is that she is looking at 4 A stars which - Cambridge aside - pretty much guarantees she will get into any university of her choice. She just needs to decide where she wants to go and if she's really not sure I wouldn't rule out encouraging her to take a year out to allow her to mature a bit, properly explore the possibilities and also claw back a bit of the free time she has been denied so far. Personally I would look at the course first because that's what she will actually be paying for and that's what she needs to be passionate about and courses in the same subject can vary so much from university to university. Then she needs to find somewhere she feels comfortable - and if that means not wanting to study at the other end of the country then that's really not the end of the world. Are you French by any chance because you sound like some of the French parents I am surrounded by here in Paris who obsess over the prestige of the institution even if their kids are utterly miserable there.

You are not a snob and shouldn't be receiving so much hate. The truth is your child worked so hard to get these results and it's so natural to want whats best for her!

I think she has amazing chances to get in Oxbridge, but if she doesn't, it's excellent she liked other unis. I would say I know a lot of people from Bath, Exeter and Warwick and they are also super smart and super successful. She needs to know not going to Oxbridge is not the end of the world and she will feel challenged in other unis as well and will meet super smart people there she will vibe with.

Good luck to you both :)