Top Unis - am I missing something?

She could try for LSE, more applications per place than Oxbridge.

DD1 got a full set of A stars because she always liked to do the best she could. Still does. Why wouldn't she? Daft question really.

My daughter has a medical condition which influenced her choice of uni. We all decided that it would be useful for her to be within 2 hours drive of family members, just in case, and to attend somewhere with a hospital that could treat her condition. I realise that you may not have family throughout the UK as we do but maybe there are relatives closer to Durham etc that your daughter could visit instead of travelling back to your home? She will probably not want to go anywhere once she's been at uni a few weeks but just knowing that there are others nearby might give her the confidence to travel further and allay any fears you might have too? - Just a thought.

I can't see why going to Durham or Edinburgh (bear in mind that's a four year course like all Scottish universities) is a problem. Nor York. Beautiful places, excellent universities. I lived in London and went to university in Staffordshire (first time went home every other week-end!!! so homesick) and had no problem with the travel (by train, a direct line). DD went to local university DS again to Staffs, though from the Midlands.

It seems to me you have produced a non-existent problem. There are plenty of universities to choose from. Also, at eighteen your DD is quite likely not to want to come home even once a term - at least after the first term!
And wherever she goes she will have to work. School and university are two different things entirely.
NB I hope she reads plenty of books just for pleasure - this is a greater indicator of success than lots of academic reading.

If she pushed herself so hard at the expense of everything else then it probably was unnecessary. If she did it and also had time to focus on other things then it likely taught her a lot and creates a great work ethic for the future.

Has she considered QMUL? London, Russell Group prestige (if you subscribe to that notion), genuine self contained campus and an excellent Politics department.

DD went to Bath and it is full of students with results similar to those your DD is predicted. Uni shouldn't just be about your academic course - there are so many other things to experience as well. Also, think longer term - what's she going to do with a politics degree and how will she earn a living?

I think what may be shocking to you and your DD is that she goes to one of these 'mediocre' universities and is distinctively average.

None of the universities you have listed are mediocre by the way. A friend of mine was given a 3 C offer to study medicine at UCL. He got his 4 As but they clearly wanted to train him and he accepted their offer.

He and the rest of us were distinctively average in our med school cohort surrounded by others who had all their As at A level. We were all top dollar at our various schools. University is a different ball game to school.

Is your DD eligible for a contextual offer? You need 3 As for Politics at Bristol for eg if not (my dd's bf, 3A stars at A level just graduated from there with a first!)
My dd also had 3 A stars at A level and went there. She really didn't like the vibe or the 3 short term structure of Oxford or Cambridge, it isn't for everyone!

Don't forget there isn't any guarantee your dd will achieve all A stars as* things do go wrong on the day! Oxbridge don't generally ask for all A *stars in any event.

I think the problem with London universities @GoodMorningPineapple is that they offer a much different university experience to most other places. Anecdotally the YP I know who chose London wish they’d had the university experience of friends who went elsewhere.

She's sounds like she doesn't know what she wants except that she doesn't want the pressure she feels under.

Maybe a gap year would be for the best.

It's hard applying in the midsts of working hard for A Levels and going through the Oxbridge admissions process is no walk in the park.

I'd be very worried she's on the road to burn out. She's struggling and you need to listen and stop with the So this goes quite deep I suppose. But then I am of an opinion that when you are tired, you take a break and rest, you don't quit. I'm not saying she needs to quit but the thing is it seems that this topic has become stressful to her for whatever reason. My DS's best friend at college was predicted 3 A*s had a place at Oxford and then burnt out and missed the grades. This can happen.

Can you not ask your daughter where she wants to go?

I was about to say this. She's eighteen. The world's her oyster. It isn't a choice between Oxbridge and nowhere else. There are lots of very good universities and many of them are better for specific courses than Oxbridge. For example with my own subject, music, if you want to be a performer, the conservatoires are far better. If you want to be a musicologist or, possibly, a composer, Oxbridge AND other universities would be better. Depending on the subject, what is wrong with Bristol, Sussex, Exeter, Birmingham, Nottingham, Leeds, East Anglia or Essex, to name a few? I think your daughter should be looking at as many different universities that run the course(s) that she is interested in and let her make up her own mind.

Your daughter would be one of very many students with top A level grades at any number of British universities. I’d tell her that and then let her make her own decisions.

I don't know why people are so quick to rule of London unis because "they want a campus uni". These universities do have campuses (especially UCL which is decently sized). And like there's so much to see and do in London.

She is setting limiting criteria (can't be too far away, not city based, must be a 3 year course) and then complaining that her choices are limited!

If you live in the SE Durham is a long journey and I can understand it seems daunting to an 18 yo. One of my children went there (we are also SE) and it seemed like the end of world.

With planning and railcards the train journey soon became familiar to us and we managed to meet up every few weeks. They even did the round trip in a day for an important family event in finals week. The long train journey is also a great opportunity to catch up on reading.

Bristol is a lovely City- a bit run down in places now {post Covid} but seems massively popular. A lot of students stay on and live there afterwards.

Royal Holloway. London, campus, very good.

Haven’t read the full thread but I grew up just north of Durham, went to a south coast uni and came home whenever I wanted to. It’s not a big deal, especially not on the train. So the same journey the opposite way around. Might be missing the point though!

My dd is at Bristol and now doing a Masters having finished her undergraduate degree there, we live 4 1/2 hours from Bristol and she only comes home for Christmas, Easter and during the summer but she loves it there, she too worked so hard and there was a possibility of going to Cambridge but they didn’t do her course and she didn’t feel it would of been the right fit for her and is very happy where she is.

Hi, OP -

I found your post at 8.36 this morning interesting and possibly concerning. Either DD is downplaying how much she wants Oxbridge, or she is genuinely confused.

I am a former admissions tutor in an RG STEM School with a very high offer. We There are loads of students with straight A stars. A substantial minority have a bit of difficulty adjusting to the fact that university is much more difficult than school and many of these were the heads-down-studious types in their school days. DD is right to think about whether she will thrive in the rigours of the Oxbridge tutorial system - she may, she may not. Like a PP I have worked with Oxbridge transfers who simply did not.

Of course there are man universities from which she can launch a successful career. But she is severely limiting herself. St Andrews offers one of the most satisfying UG experiences in the UK, almost always surpassing Durham and Edinburgh (and sometimes Cambridge), is hugely competitive and respected, yet is obviously off the radar. As is all of London, apparently.

Gently, someone who thinks it is a big pressure to know where she will want to spend 3 years, who is making it a priority to be able to get home quickly during term time, doesn’t sound very sure of herself yet. And that’s fine! If DD takes a year to grow up and consider what she really wants her CV won’t diminish in the meantime. And she will feel much stronger and more confident. That’s a better position for beginning university.

BTW I expect Politics (whatever the degree programme is called) at Bath will have a number of outstanding students. It is a wonderful university offering high quality of life.

That might change when she gets there and has a taste of university life and makes new friends. And is also a little older.

Doesn't she want to do as well as she can for her own sense of achievement, though?

I am a political prof who has taught and attended a few of the unis mentioned. A few things to consider particularly as she picked Politics-

a) why politics and what would she like to do with it? Politics used to be a nice generic degree but with AI etc.....the relevance of it as a degree is perhaps less obvious.

b) Where does she want to end up afterwards? Does she need to look at the syllabus? What skills do they offer...do they teach Quant and methods?

c) Biggest difference between unis (when it comes to politics) is the atmosphere and students - not staff or equipment. Where academics end up in politics is mainly luck of the draw.

d) Student atmosphere matters - Oxbridge nerdy people who also go out and drink quite a bit but also study very hard. It's an artificially created pressure cooker due to short term but man you learn to work hard, stay ambitious and produce. Will start chatting careers the minute they nove into their college. London unis - bright but mainly international students all about city jobs. She will naturally end up very focused on her career as that's what they all do from the word go. Not sure about Durham - little experience of it. Other unis in UK - student body a lot less driven and motivated and not as career focused. That might be a good thing...it depends on your perception.

In practice, you pay same cash for Oxbridge as Loughborough so in my opinion you might as well go for the best. As people say - lost of young people get a degree. Having a degree doesn't guarantee a job so she needs to be driven, ambitious and on the ball about what she is there for and what she will do with it - especially as AI is currently eating up a lot of the jobs around us.

Probably parents not wanting her to fly the nest and being too far away if they perceive there is an emergency[?]

The only reason I can think of.

Well let it be a lesson...there isn't a gold medal or a red carpet leading to a perfect spec uni made bespoke for your daughter. The world doesn't revolve around A*s and Oxbridge and, as a teacher, I've seen plenty students suffer adversely with the pressure from parental expectations of those who believe it does. Including two kids who had panic attacks in the middle of exams.

I'd far rather my kids were able to balance a healthy life with time for socialising/sports/clubs/interests/travel (without feeling guilty or less than) than bending over backwards to compete with kids and parents who have such a skewed and tunnel visioned perspective on success.

Sounds like you've been so focused on uni entry you've not seen the wood for the bloody trees.