To think this the most pointless, indulgent gap year possible

She's going to have an amazing time! I think all the bits in brackets are what makes it sound slightly pretentious or like they've felt they need to justify it. I hope she enjoys it and discovers a lot about herself.

Orphanage volunteering is often extremely unhelpful to the kids and at worst very harmful. Just one link https://bettercarenetwork.org/rethinkorphanages/problem-with-visiting-volunteering-in-orphanages .

Kids from the rich developed world prioritising their own "perspective on life" over safety and decent care for the kids they profess to care about. I hope your niece has learned to do her research better now. The OP's friends' kid at least is not perpetuating harm under the guise of altruism.

Unclear what you think Valencia actually has to do with it but I bet the UK kids who bought the "help orphans" package would struggle as much in a devastating flood as the ones who bought the "food, wine and ski-ing" package.

Although it sounds like a dream to me, for a young person it sounds lonely. Is she going with friends? Can she change plans impulsively or is it all planned FOR her?

I also suspect such carefully arranged plans for 'enrichment' and all the activities growing up, means she'll have a lot of pressure to be successful & a controlled life rather than experiences & fun.

Luxury sounds fab, though, and much better than backpacking!

Sorry are you the supreme ruler of gap years or something?

The jealousy is radiating from your words clear as day, OP. I’d rein it in.

Your comments seem to be fuelled by envy. I think it sounds great, and there's no requirement for gap years to be worthy. She will have many experiences, which will enhance her soft skills. I would also have hated backpacking. It's definitely not for everyone.

Sounds more fun than my gap (3) years living in hostels with rats and living off Kraft cheese slices and instant noodles the whole time. Why not? Who gets to decide what’s a ‘valuable’ gap year and what isn’t? I’m all for it. She’s obviously loaded anyway so even when she does her degree, her experience won’t be like other students. Let it go OP, they’re richer than you and life isn’t fair!

You don’t sound very nice, OP.

Hehehe yes please - extend that to people in their 60s !

OP - get over it - fast. Because basically no one is bothered what you think about it.

Also a big 'so what' about reading Tolstoy. He's a great author and I've read both those books. At 18 I was into Thomas Hardy in a big way - again - so what. And to add to these horrors I never even went to university; and no one could boast about me or otherwise!!

No mention of her having any friends? Poor child. It sounds like she's spending a year doing activities thay will serve a woman of this class and wealth well and she will be nicely marriageable with culture/ cooking and entertaining under her belt once she's finished her qualifications.
I thought my friend's back packing/ fruit picking/ drug taking year were utterly pointless. I couldn't afford it and needed keep working towards my future career.

Sounds amazing

Interesting to know what you’d class as an enriching gap year OP? Because you sounded surprised it wasn’t backpacking but I’m not sure how drinking your way around Thailand & posing for photos with drugged up tigers or riding an elephant is particularly enriching?

These replies are peak Mumsnet.

This kid is essentially going on a year long luxury holiday. I doubt she saved up years worth of babysitting money to pay for it.

Envy is not a good look op you just come across as jealous.

Is it because you didn't get that as a young adult or because you can't provide it for your dc?.

Who are you to judge what is "indulgent" anyway.

Worry about yourself instead of how others enjoy their time and spend their money.

You just sound really jealous and unnecessarily opinionated

There doesn’t need to be a “point” to a gap year. The whole premise is taking a year out of education/work to do what you want. It doesn’t have to be altruistic or non-indulgent. You just sound threatened because you can’t afford the same opportunity for your own child.

Gosh you sound so unkind. I hope no one I’m close to is so nakedly unpleasant about choices that my DC make about their time.

I think you need to do a little self reflection here… this is very much a you problem not a them problem. I feel bad that they excitedly relayed their daughter’s plans and you’ve been so mean spirited about it. Sure it’s more luxurious than most people - but to be honest a travelling gap year is already a bit of a luxury. A couple of my friends did language and art courses in Europe on their gap years - I dont think ‘slumming’ it in a spidery Cambodian hostel with 1000s of other rich white kids would have somehow been more worthy…

also - I absolutely ready Anna K at 18 - I don’t think this is at all improbable for

Sounds amazing! Might take a gap year from work and parenting and do the same!

Sorry, this sounds like jealousy - why is the only way to spend her gap year sweating her arse off in dodgy hostels? Sounds like an amazing way to spend a year.

I think they need you out of their life. Not only a horrible judging OP but your follow up comment disbelieving what the daughter has read is even worse.

Leave these people to enjoy their life and work on yours, something missing in your life is leading to this jealousy.

I think we would all be a bit jealous too. It’s ok.

Are you sure you are a friend?

I agree with you OP.

A luxury year out is not going to set her up for life that has its ups and downs.

My niece did voluntary work in an orphanage in S.E. Asia.

Gives you a perspective on life and how some people live a life of extreme poverty.

I know what kind of people I'd rather hang out with.

Look at Valencia. Is she sorted out when the whole shebang collapses?

Why? She's doing a degree apprenticeship, so she'll be working after this year, doesn't sound that princessy to me. You sound judgemental and narrow-minded.

I don’t mind gap years in general

phew, that's a relief!
Why is a "classic backpacking trip" better? That's still a hugely privileged experience relatively. At least this is honest and she's not doing some po-faced dubiously ethical voluntourism.

If you really can't see what will be enriching about travel, meditation, art galleries, museums (it may shock you but even people who live in London can get enrichment from other cities!!) reading the greats and learning about food and wine, then what DO you consider enriching?

I think you just mean she won't suffer enough. She'll likely learn a lot. She's just not dressing it up as selfless or work-related, so it annoys you.

It seems fine to me. Also young people do read classical literature. Any prospective student applying for or doing an English Lit degree will have read a lot by that age, not sure why that is being treated with incredulity.

Fgs she is clearly a spoilt princess regardless of whether her gap year is enriching or whatever. You need to change who you hang out with.