To ask if anyone really knows you?

My husband and my middle dd are the only people I can truly be myself with.

This is really interesting! I don't feel like this at all and can only conclude that I'm a massive over sharer.

I wish I'd kept a littl9e more to myself in retrospect.

Do the responses make you feel better OP

My husband, my sisters, my brother and my children and my parents.

DH can predict with reasonable accuracy what I will do or what I think about some things with reasonable accuracy I would say. He knows me best but of course you can’t entirely know anyone.

No. Elements here and there -- but no one completely. My husband would know the most about me currently but I think is confused by me. My sister is most like me so probably understands me the most. My parents are interested but try and tie me to who I was in the past more than they should.

I currently try to be open and not to have secrets but I have passing thoughts I keep to myself because I know they are unkind and concerns that aren't worth worrying others with.

My husband knows me better than anyone else. He really sees me. His love is liberating, it allows me to be myself in our relationship. We’ve been together since we were kids and I feel most at home in myself with him.

Beyond my husband, I think I’m a tough nut to crack. My own mum has often bemoaned how difficult it is to get close to me, as if I came into the world like that. 🤨

My daughter, she knows me very well but I wouldn’t want her to know everything about me, there are elements of my past and personality that I would never want to burden her with - I hope she sees the best of me though.

My grandparents have a very rose-tinted version of me just like when I was a little girl🥰 I’m very undeserving of it I’m sure but I can do no wrong in their eyes, it’s like being bathed in love.

Me too. I read it at university and it really resonated.

If you read Goffman’s ‘Presentation of Self’ - his theory is that we are all actors in our own lives, slipping in and out of different roles unconsciously, depending on who we are with. And that the only time we are ever really our true selves is when we are ‘backstage’ - that is by ourselves, in our own space. And obviously no one else ever sees that. Therefore, no one really knows the true you, except you, and you don’t know the true anyone else either. His theory makes a lot of sense to me.

I know exactly what you mean, still waiting to find the real me as I’ve always put everyone else first, planning on giving myself more time in the future!
How does it make you feel OP ?

Oh dear, reading this makes me feel very un-mysterious. I’d say quite a few people know me pretty well. Most of my friends, and certainly all my close ones. Some of my family members.

I think the people who know us best are often our DC, as they’re watching us all the time and they see us the most unguarded.

eta: I think as I ease into middle age I’m a lot clearer about who I am, and accepting of what I’m not, and able to tolerate the thought that people can generally see what I’m like so there’s no point trying to hide it or dress it up.

I mostly live inside my head. So nobody can truly know me. I don't think anybody can know anyone 100%.

I bloody hope not!

I think different people know different aspects of me so old friends know some bits, DH knows some and DCs know some but some are mine alone...

My DH, sister, and best friend know me. DH more so than even the other two, I don't think there's a single thought that passes through my head I'd not be able to tell him. He can always guess what's going on in my head, and is eerily good at being able to slip in and soothe worries before I've even fully clicked I've got them.

I don't know what's normal and what isn't, as we're all different...but this sounds a little isolating to me. But then, what's normal for me could feel uncomfortable for you.

This. I think our children know us best.

I feel completely removed from everyone most of the time

No, I don’t think that’s normal at all.

I agree that people probably don’t know you completely but to feel that friends and family of 30 years don’t know you “even the tiniest bit” is unlikely.

I think you should say this to your GP.

Sadly I think I am transparent to all. I have difficulty hiding feelings and thoughts which can be a blessing and a curse for me and others.

DH is the person who knows me best, but there is plenty that I keep from him. I think he wouldn't approve of certain things, or would interfere with them, so it's best to keep them hidden.
There are lots of traits I have that would meet disapproval from others, and some things I do would get me into trouble, and I think it's wise not to reveal them. My family don't know me well at all, and I don't have close friends because I keep people at arms's length.

Well this just made me feel more normal!!!!!! Yes, I totally think/feel this too, thought it was just me

I was pondering on this recently.

I wonder if the people in our lives know us more than we realise. I think my DM knows me more than I'd like to believe. OH knows what I'm like, scarily so. I don't give much away to others, just the basics. I hide my personality or maybe I just lack confidence in who i am..

No. I would never let them.

That makes complete sense and I feel that's true in my case...

I don't think you can truly know yourself though. I don't know how I might react to certain situations so I guess I couldn't expect anyone else to know.

I like what @Lovehearts82 says about the masks. Dh thinks he knows me so well but there is a lot I conceal and just as well. I can have some negative intrusive thoughts I could never share with him. I also get really angry about stuff he doesn't understand so there is no point in sharing. Sometimes I don't know why I am irritated by something so can't explain anyway.

Perhaps your children see who you really are. It’s difficult to only show your public face to them when you have leaking breasts, zero sleep and got to get them to the child minder and yourself to work.

I feel like this too.