To think all of these people can afford children they just don't want them

"Fantastically naive..." Absolutely. Adopting a child is NOTHING like creating a child, especially a child who is "past the childcare age". What's that? At best, when starting school? Adopting a 4/5 year is very different to adopting a, say, 2 year old. What a ridiculously flippant, ignorant comment from him!

Couldn’t agree more. There was a couple from Wakefield near where I live. On 60k per year…I can tell you that is plenty to raise a child round here, even with nursery fees - the only reason you wouldn’t is if you had crippling mortgage payments of £3k per month or something, but house prices fairly cheap round here tbh compared to the rest of tje
country. Most of the parents at my child school won’t be on anywhere near that much. It mentioned at the end of the article that she wasn’t maternal so suspect that is the reason (which is perfectly acceptable one!)

Based on the young people I know, they don't want to compromise lifestyle to have children

If they really wanted a child they would live in a tent, wild camping for free in Scotland all year round, while working remotely.

Migrant workers.

No maternity benefits. No healthcare. No childcare. No education or training.

They arrive in the UK as fully-formed and fully-functioning workers and taxpayers.

It makes far more financial sense to import labour.

I think people are judgemental of those who don't have children. In fact I do lean towards having a child but not at going through countless rounds of ivf. There are lots of people who think I should adopt or go into debt for ivf rather than accepting that some things aren't meant to be. More so if there aren't even any fertility issues but rather lifestyle reasons

They already live in Wakefield - so whilst housing isn't an insignificant cost in life for anybody, it's hardly Knightsbridge, is it?

A teenager isn't going to be cheaper!

I thought the same as you when I read the article, OP.

If you don't want children for ANY reason, that is absolutely fine and great and 100% a valid choice. But then, why pretend that you would like them but can't afford them?

What's the point of that? It's like me claiming that I don't go to see football matches because of the cost of tickets, travelling difficulties, fears about hooliganism and drunks etc. - rather than just being honest and saying that the game bores me solid, so I have no interest in going whatsoever.

If you like/want something, go right out there for it; but if you're not interested, for whatever reason, just say that.

Why are people commenting that they don't want children? That's nothing to do with what OP is asking.

She's talking about people who say they want them, but say they can't afford them when she thinks they can. I don't happen to agree with her for the people in the article. But she's not saying "why don't people want children?" or "everyone who says they don't want children is lying".

Yes. And what's wrong with that? There's so much more to kids than finances. Especially for the primary caregiver

The couple willing to adopt an older child have good reasoning. Adopters get no support financially so if they think they can only adopt a child who is older then fair play. Older children are the hardest to place so they won't be turned away. Them saying 'we would love to have adopted earlier and with younger child but we just couldn't afford it' is a very very sensible decision.

Yep - we can easily afford kids. Less than £100,000 left on mortgage. Earn over £130000 between us. No interest whatsoever in having children.

People can not want kids for a range of reasons but cost is definitely one. Affordability is different for different people. I would love a second child, would love to give my daughter a sibling. The only thing stopping us is the cost. So, yes YABU to think that you know better.

I'm late 20s buying a 2 bed flat in London

Maybe I'll have 1 in my 30s

@Dollybantree I don’t really think having a child as a ‘young mum’ (assuming this means >21) living with your parents, and them supporting you, is really desirable for most people.

It’s then going to be incredibly difficult to get out of this situation and be financially independent in the longer term.

Selfishness is subjective. You think wanting a nicer quality of life is selfish. Others might argue having a child when you’ll struggle to support them is selfish.

I think it’s incredibly complicated for middle-income adults (<40 ish) to decide to have children when they can’t offer them a lifestyle like the one they had - and as another poster described above, will leave them living like a student. The high cost of housing and childcare is responsible for about 99% of the financial issue.

Yes and what if they move out of London and then struggle with infertility. When I was buying 5 years ago everyone told me to buy in a commuter town and spend 5k a year commuting as I would get more for my money or move to the north for a 3 bed semi.

I am glad that I bought my London flat now that it turns out I have fertility issues (tbh had an inkling even at 26 cos I had 4 years of withdrawal method by then with no accidents despite 22% typical use failure rate).living in the north wouldn't magically help me have a baby, and most parts of the country have fewer nhs funded cycles than where I live. A 2 bed flat is optimal for us as a couple.

They deserve someone who doesn't resent spending their money on them

I cant think of anything worse or reason why i would want a child / children.
I choose not to have them and dont care if others want them.

That's exactly what it is that bugs me. Thanks for finding the words

I can only go off my own experience and the experiences of other people I know.

I had my first child despite being a young single mum and living at home with my parents. I wasn’t earning much and it was a struggle but I knew I wanted to be a mum and I made it work (admit I had family help in terms of living at home until I’d saved enough to move out).

I also know lots of people who in all honesty couldn’t really “afford” to have children but have done it anyway and things have worked out fine. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t had kids bc they don’t think they can afford it, the two couples I know who have actively chosen not to have them have made their decision based on not having maternal feelings and also having tried and nothings happened and they don’t want to go down the ivf route.

I really think a lot of this “can’t afford children” rhetoric comes from people having higher expectations of what they want their lifestyle to be like nowadays (probably largely fuelled by social media and FOMO). People in wars have children, families on benefits have children.

I honestly think people who really want them have them and those who aren’t really arsed one way or the other don’t but sometimes blame it on COL etc as it’s a convenient excuse to shut people up who ask.

When you really want children you’ll move heaven and earth to make it happen, hence why people go through rounds of painful invasive ivf to have them.

I think people have become more selfish in general (not saying there’s anything wrong with that) and prioritise their lifestyle/wanting to eat out/have nice cars etc instead of the expense of children. Everyone’s expectations have risen to what they consider to be a decent way of living and that’s bound to affect birth rates. I also think the internet/SM/phones etc play a part. People are so hooked up to tech nowadays they probably wouldn’t want to get of Instagram or whatever in their spare time to go rock a crying baby! People had more downtime to be filled before the advent of SM etc - boredom leads to wanting change/new experiences (and more sex!) = more babies!

The government will be lifting the 2 child UC benefit cap then since it's clearly not needed if so many people aren't having children they can't afford. Or is this just BBC bias as usual, only people on benefits shouldn't be having children.

Birth rates are dropping in the Nordic countries (free childcare) and abysmally low in places like Singapore (85% of millenials there are homeowners can buy government subsidized flats as couples); in fact its lower than London.

I do think it's a cultural shift and also a lot of people have fertility issues. I married at 22 and have never used artificial contraception plus ttc for 15 months, and still not pregnant (at 32). However as I have a london mortgage (around 275k on my 2 bed flat), I am not super excited to throw all my money on private ivf (32% success rate) when there is no guarantee of it working though my ICB offers 3 funded nhs cycles. I am more inclined to go for self acceptance.

My cousin who is 22 days older than me and married at 27 has pretty much the same problem, her mum retired early to look after the hypothetical grandkids but has gone back to work because there is no baby...

I don't like children. I do however love my disposable income 😎

Absolutely nothing wrong with it. Indeed it's to be celebrated when it's an active choice.

But I do think the cost of childcare and housing will be causing some not to have children they would have otherwise wanted, or to leave it late enough that they struggle with TTC. And that is a shame, we're a wealthy country. Anyone working FT should be able to afford a baby or two if they would like them.