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Original poster

To lie to avoid cat feeding

38 replies

Getmoveon14 · 03/11/2024 18:58

I have fed a friend's cat for 4 separate holidays this year. She has done one week for me. I have decided that I really don't want to have to feed her cat over Christmas. On Christmas Day my kids will want to focus on present opening and I don't want to go out after Christmas dinner (it's 1.5 miles away along an unlit road). I was wondering whether to tell her this but instead thought it would be better to just mention visiting my brother over Christmas. I am going to see him, but only on Boxing Day. So the friend asks what I'm doing for Christmas and I say 'going to my brother's'. So far not a complete lie, but then the friend offers to feed our cat (having previously said she may be away for Christmas). I was caught unawares and just told the blatant lie that another friend had agreed to do the cat feeding. I'm wondering if I should just have been honest and said I don't want to do cat feeding over Christmas.

OP posts:
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Original poster
Getmoveon14 · 04/11/2024 19:25

Thanks all. This thread has helped me to realise that I need to set out clearly what I'm prepared to do - probably 2 weeks of feeding per year. I'll try to be honest in future!

OP posts:
Mylovelylittledog · 04/11/2024 11:16

I feel you need to be honest with your friend. Only because making excuses will mean she will keep asking you to feed the cat in the future and if you don't want to, you will have to keep thinking up excuses and lies. Lies usually always get found out and are hurtful BUT at the same time who could ever say to a friend ''Sorry, I simply don't want to to X ''. That would probably not go down well for anyone to hear. White lies are said to lessen the blow to the recipient and trying not to hurt their feelings.

BibbityBobbityToo · 04/11/2024 11:03

You've changed your mind and have decided to stay at home and are looking forward to living in your PJs for the festive period while indulging in beverages that make you merry 😊

That covers off your cat not needing fed and protects you from friend changing their plans and expecting you to feed theirs.

ClivetheDestroyer · 04/11/2024 10:59

When we're away for longer than a weekend we leave the 24-hr one for the neighbours, so they come once a day (say in the morning) and set it for the other meal (evening)

ClivetheDestroyer · 04/11/2024 10:58

I also came on to say about the timed cat feeders - we have a one section one that you can set for up to 24 hours, and also one with 5 sections that you can set over 48 hours, so they're good for a whole weekend.

SadSandwich · 04/11/2024 10:07

Say your plans keep changing and you won’t know for definite if you are or aren’t at your brothers for awhile - so best that you don’t make any plans together this year.

Halvana · 04/11/2024 09:59

You're into the realms of overthinking it now. Don't worry, none of us have the perfect thing come out of our mouths at all times. It's done, just crack on and enjoy your Christmas.

The timed feeders are great especially for the odd day away.

thismummydrinksgin · 04/11/2024 09:53

Say what ever makes you feel most comfortable and achieves the aim of not feeding the cat. What if you have a few drinks? It's Christmas Day! She needs to use a cattery x

DieStrassensindimmernass · 04/11/2024 09:48

I won't be able to.
I have other plans.

Itsallabouttea · 04/11/2024 09:46

thatsmypotato · 03/11/2024 20:32

It will see all the decorations and know OP's left it on its own though

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Presumably these decorations will have been up for a while - the cat really doesn't know, or care, that it's Christmas day 🤣

Brefugee · 04/11/2024 09:13

gosh had completely misread.

My advice stands though. Stop lying, people. Just learn to say "no, i can't do that" and leave it at that.

In this case: tell friend it's a kind offer, you haven't yet fixed plans but if you do go away you will be grateful for her help feeding your cat. It's really not rocket science.

Autumnismyfavouritetimeofyear · 03/11/2024 21:18

Dont lie, dont feel like you have to explain things in detail, tell her in advance - Hi friend, I dont know what your Christmas plans are but I wont be available to feed the cat over Christmas so wanted to let you know in plenty of time if you are planning to go away so you can make other arrangements.

xsquared · 03/11/2024 20:53

You'rw not being unreasonable to want to avoid cat feeding, but you didn't have to lie to your friend about what you're doing at Christmas. Even if she did ask you to feed the cat, you could just say no.

Icanttakethisanymore · 03/11/2024 20:35

Getmoveon14 · 03/11/2024 20:33

This is exactly right but I just don't want to admit it!

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I think it’s ok to ‘admit’ you want a drink at lunchtime on Christmas Day. Before I had kids I’d be hitting the bucks fizz at breakfast!

Attelina · 03/11/2024 20:34

'Sorry Marjorie, any other day is the year is ok but Christmas Day I won't be leaving the house as I want to be here with the children all day.'

Original poster
Getmoveon14 · 03/11/2024 20:34

CorbyTrouserPress · 03/11/2024 20:27

The friend hadn’t asked her to feed her cat. The OP thought she was going to so lied saying she was away in advance to get out of it. Now the friend has offered to feed her cat while she’s away, except she’s not away on Xmas Day and now she’s caught in the lie.

Yes, spot on!

OP posts:
Original poster
Getmoveon14 · 03/11/2024 20:33

yabbadabbadonot · 03/11/2024 19:49

Or tell her you can't go out to feed the cat as you'll want a drink so can't drive!

This is exactly right but I just don't want to admit it!

OP posts:
thatsmypotato · 03/11/2024 20:32

MereDintofPandiculation · 03/11/2024 20:30

It doesn’t know it’s Christmas Day!

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It will see all the decorations and know OP's left it on its own though

Original poster
Getmoveon14 · 03/11/2024 20:31

Mumdiva99 · 03/11/2024 19:53

Whilst you have no obligation to feed her cat.

If you do want to help.....we have timed cay feeders so even when our cat sitter comes she can set them and not visit for 24 /36 hours depending on how she sets them. (If we are away for over a week it's perfectly reasonable she doesn't want to do twice a day every day. She is a professional it's not a favour.)

We also use them if we are going away overnight too. So no need for someone to some in.

Good idea! It wouldn't be quite so bad if I could avoid Christmas Day.

OP posts:
MereDintofPandiculation · 03/11/2024 20:30

thatsmypotato · 03/11/2024 20:29

On Christmas day? Poor cat

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It doesn’t know it’s Christmas Day!

thatsmypotato · 03/11/2024 20:30

Ah right. Tell the friend you feel shit abandoning your cat on Christmas day so aren't going away

thatsmypotato · 03/11/2024 20:29

ThinWomansBrain · 03/11/2024 19:11

cat would have been OK on it's own for a day

Edited

On Christmas day? Poor cat

CorbyTrouserPress · 03/11/2024 20:28

At least I think that’s what it is 😂

CorbyTrouserPress · 03/11/2024 20:27

The friend hadn’t asked her to feed her cat. The OP thought she was going to so lied saying she was away in advance to get out of it. Now the friend has offered to feed her cat while she’s away, except she’s not away on Xmas Day and now she’s caught in the lie.

Brefugee · 03/11/2024 20:25

Don't lie. Say "no, i can't do it this time". Say this soon and give her time to make other arrangements.
Don't make up stories, excuses or whatever. Just be adult about this.